•  oNevia   ( @onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) OP
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    176 months ago

    It was just after 1am on a warm summer morning. My wife was told after 25 hours of labor she was going to need an emergency C-section. We were terrified as baby’s heart rate kept dropping in and out of normal range all labor and he was struggling to move down the canal.

    Nurse: Dad, this is the time to get your phone out and take babies first photo!

    Me: She’s not talking to me. I’m not a father. I’m not even sure what I am…

    Nurse: This is it! Time to see if it’s a boy or girl!

    Me: Oh it’s a boy we found out with the ultrasounds

    Nurse: Are you sure? Those aren’t always accurate. You never know! Nope, definitely a boy…

    My son was born and I spent the first hour of his life alone as my wife had complications after the c section. We did skin to skin, him on my chest… Cue identity crisis.

    Months of not grasping the concept of how I could be a father. Why did I feel more connected to the idea of being a mother. I googled “how to know I’m trans” and came across the Gender Dysphoria Bible that smashed my egg wide open at the tender age of 29

      • We are actually! Thank you. Our marriage is stronger than ever :) years of lying to myself meant lying to my wife which put a real strain on our relationship. We both didn’t think I was going to live for more than a few years with how bad my mental health got.

        Now we are strong, connected and determined to keep moving forward. ❤️

        •  Cait   ( @Caitlyynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
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          6 months ago

          Aww, that nice to hear! I had to break it off with my partner because of me coming out, we just weren’t in a place for that. It’s really nice to know that this doesn’t have to be, I wish you all the best going forward <3

          • I hate to hear that but hope you two have found a way to stay in touch afterwards. I was terrified of coming out to my wife, but knew that my chances of saving my marriage, family and life were a hell of a lot better as a woman than they were as a man.

            Luckily my wife agrees ❤️