I’ll give it a shot, “I thought I apologized already, but whatever…”
- Sombyr ( @Sombyr@lemmy.one ) 55•1 year ago
I had a teacher tell me to drop out then be forced to write an apology letter for it.
She wrote “I’m sorry you thought I told you to drop out.”
So I’m gonna say “I’m sorry you thought” is high up there. Straight up gaslighting.
- 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬 ( @Dirk@lemmy.ml ) 37•1 year ago
I’m sorry, but …
- chaorace ( @chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org ) English36•1 year ago
🚫 Conditional apologies:
- “I’m sorry if…”
- “I’m sorry but…”
- “I’m sorry for [not the main thing you should be apologizing for]…”
🚫 Apologizing on behalf of the recipient:
- “I’m sorry you feel that way”
- “I’m sorry you came to that conclusion”
🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:
- “I’m sorry for not being more clear”
- “I’m sorry about being so misleading”
🚫 Non-apologies:
- “I apologize for…”
- “It’s regrettable that…”
- “It was terrible to…”
When in doubt, keep it simple. Get the main apology out ASAP, then carefully start saying your piece afterward. Focus on yourself if the situation demands explaining yourself (many don’t). Be extremely careful to speak only constructively about other individuals during the apology (if you can’t say something nice…).
For example: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
- Cralder ( @Cralder@feddit.nu ) 23•1 year ago
🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:
- “I’m sorry for not being more clear”
- “I’m sorry about being so misleading”
How are those insulting? Saying that I should have been more clear means I am the one who messed up by not communicating properly. Something like “sorry that you misunderstood” would be insulting since it places the blame on the recipient’s intelligence.
- scubbo ( @scubbo@lemmy.ml ) 13•1 year ago
They’re not inherently insulting - there are ways to use those phrases appropriately, but they can be (and often are) used sarcastically, when the speaker had been clear in the first place.
- chaorace ( @chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org ) English2•1 year ago
The main issue is that it partially reassigns blame onto the recipient of the apology. As if you’re saying “I could have done better, but if you were someone else it might not have been an issue in the first place”.
Keep in mind that most apologies are being given unto hurt people and hurt people are less likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. That’s why rule #1 is to keep it simple and spare the details.
EDIT: A good example of this in context: “I’m sorry for this mixup. It should’ve been written better.”
Making the object of the sentence explicit (“this mixup”) removes the implied presence of the recipient (“I’m sorry for not being more clear (with you)”).
- Umbrias ( @Umbrias@beehaw.org ) 5•1 year ago
I think what I’ve learned from most of your examples is that people just don’t like apologies.
- chaorace ( @chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org ) English3•1 year ago
People like the benefits of apologizing but don’t want to pay the ego tax. It’s one of the singlemost powerful social rituals we have as a species but you wouldn’t know it based on how tightfisted so many apologies get.
- Umbrias ( @Umbrias@beehaw.org ) 2•1 year ago
Sure, but I think you misinterpreted my comment. Most of these examples feel completely irrelevant to whether an apology is good or not, and are perfectly fine in the majority of apologies which are not given in a shithead way.
- chaorace ( @chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org ) English1•1 year ago
That’s cool. At the end of the day I’m just generalizing my own lived experience and to tell you the truth I am not a particularly wise person. Normally I wouldn’t lecture on about this sort of thing at all – it just so happened to be topical today.
- Mister_Rogers ( @Mister_Rogers@kbin.social ) 27•1 year ago
“The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment”
- bionicjoey ( @bionicjoey@lemmy.ca ) 24•1 year ago
Corporate jingle plays
“And now, a message from our company president…”
- shoop ( @shoop@lemmy.ca ) 2•1 year ago
- CleoTheWizard ( @CleoTheWizard@beehaw.org ) English24•1 year ago
“I’m sorry that you were upset about it”
“I feel like I shouldn’t have to keep apologizing but I will anyways”
“I’m sorry if what I did was misinterpreted”
Or my favorite
“It’s not something that I need to apologize for but if it makes you happy”
- room_raccoon ( @room_raccoon@kbin.social ) 24•1 year ago
My husband’s favourite is “I’m sorry you got upset.”
- Big P ( @peter@feddit.uk ) English8•1 year ago
Companies love that one too. “we are sorry our customers felt upset”
- ours ( @ours@lemmy.film ) English2•1 year ago
“We’re sorry we got caught”
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 1•1 year ago
NASA too: “We’re sorry space got upset”
- Extras ( @Extrasvhx9he@lemmy.today ) 21•1 year ago
“Ew do I really have to apologise to it? Fine…”
- dan1101 ( @dan1101@lemm.ee ) 12•1 year ago
I am 100% right, but since saying “sorry” is the only way you might shut up…
- rahmad ( @rahmad@lemmy.ml ) 11•1 year ago
Look…
- Im14abeer ( @Im14abeer@midwest.social ) English10•1 year ago
“Even though you …”
- Chariotwheel ( @Chariotwheel@kbin.social ) 10•1 year ago
To whom it may concern
- 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬 ( @Dirk@lemmy.ml ) 3•1 year ago
As already addressed in my last e-mail: some of you …
- sunbeam60 ( @sunbeam60@lemmy.one ) 9•1 year ago
“IF I’ve offended you, I’m sorry.”
It’s not an apology if you don’t start by agreeing with the other person’s viewpoint.
Instead say: “I can understand why you’re offended. What I didn’t wasn’t acceptable and here’s why: …”
- bookmeat ( @bookmeat@lemm.ee ) 1•1 year ago
If you don’t understand why someone is offended you can’t possibly explain why what you did wasn’t acceptable.
- sunbeam60 ( @sunbeam60@lemmy.one ) 1•1 year ago
I’m with you. But may I suggest you shouldn’t really be making excuses for something you don’t understand.
- Behaviorbabe ( @Behaviorbabe@kbin.social ) 8•1 year ago
“You’re still upset about that?”
- Dizzy Devil Ducky ( @AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee ) English7•1 year ago
Ya know, I’m not actually sorry, but I’m being forced to apologize. Next time just don’t get upset, you cowardly snowflake and I won’t have to apologize. Sorry, not actually sorry.