• Which of your “friends” do you dislike so much that you invite them to a bbq but are absolutely unwilling to make food that they will eat?

    When I cook I cater to my guests, because I like them, their company, and want them to come and feel welcome.

  • The exact opposite happened to me. My work was having an employee appreciation BBQ and said they’d be serving hotdogs and burgers. I packed my own lunch since I’m vegetarian. I ate my lunch in the cafeteria alone to avoid explaining why I wasn’t eating hotdogs and burgers. I went out after to hang out with everyone and as the BBQ is ending the manager threw out a bunch of food and staff were like “Woah what if someone wanted to take those home??” And the manager said “they’re veggie dogs and burgers. I guess nobody is vegetarian here”. He even said he made sure the meat was kosher/halal so anyone could take part in the staff appreciation BBQ. Like…bruh…thank you.

  • That’s not be(e)ing very nice, Chris.

    If I’m at a BBQ, I’ve been invited to it. The person who invited me to it absolutely knows that I am vegetarian and have been vegetarian for 28 years. Choosing not to accommodate that would be a pretty horrible thing to do.

  •  millie   ( @millie@beehaw.org ) 
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    4 months ago

    I mean, you shouldn’t expect anything particular at a BBQ that you’re not bringing yourself or like helping with the planning of. Like, hamburgers and hotdogs are pretty standard, but if I showed up at someone else’s BBQ and all they had was ribs I’d be kind of an ass for whining about it.

    But like… why are vegetarian options specifically a problem? Is this something that’s coming up? Is there like, a rash of vegetarians throwing a fit about it? Did someone get invited to a BBQ and ask if there’d be a veggie option? You know, like, so they could participate in a social event with their meat-eating friends?

    This kind of stuff usually feels to me like people who eat meat and don’t want to think about the cost in suffering pointing a finger at people who abstain so they don’t have to think about it. Like, I personally do eat meat. I find that my brain functions better with a little animal fat than without. Buuut I’m also well aware of how much torture goes on in the process of making that meat, and I at least try to minimize the calorie to suffering ratio.

    That’s not to say that I’m going to spend my days criticizing people who don’t choose to push against the horrific system of factory farming that supports our societal penchant for meat, but I do think about it. And I have noticed that certain meat-eaters seem to be pretty defensive about it, which generally translates into being shitty to people who don’t eat meat.

    Posts like this coming unprompted certainly seem like that kind of defensive behavior to me.

    Anyway, food for thought.

    • Agreed! This is an awesome comment. Thank you for putting it all into words so well! :)

      I think it doesn’t seem like a kind post like Beehaw is supposed to be. I’m also not sure why it’s in the ‘humor’ community.

      • Something I’ve learned as a vegan is that it’s pretty socially acceptable to kick vegans (and I guess vegetarians?) even among leftists. To the point where it’s almost a meme in some vegan social media circles I used to frequent.

  • Stop expecting me to come to your BBQ. Fuck all these social gatherings where alcoholics and meat eaters expect everyone to show up and not do anything different than their unhealthy habits.

  • When I have a BBQ, even where all the guests are meat eaters, I still like to have a potato salad and vegetable skewers and bread and sometimes a regular salad and roasted corn and sometimes roasted eggplant. I like to think if there was a vegetarian there, they’d be well catered for by default without me having to really do anything different. I love meat, and for a BBQ it’s typically the star of the show, but you’re going to want a supporting cast.

  • I’ve dated people who don’t eat meat. I feel like by and large they understand what a BBQ is. As others have mentioned I always do some sort of salad or vegetable based dish just because it’s good to have some greenery in general. Failing that surely there’s decent vegan mayo by now. You show me someone that says they don’t like potato “salad” and I’ll show you a damn liar.

    I’ve had plenty of vego/vegan mates be cool at these sort of events. Yet to see the hoard of gate crashing vegans turn up to a BBQ demanding specially catered food that they could probably guess won’t be present.

    •  millie   ( @millie@beehaw.org ) 
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      184 months ago

      I would honestly bet money that if someone shows up to a BBQ and complains about what’s available, 9 out of 10 times it’s going to be someone who eats meat and is upset that there either isn’t their favorite meat or like, that there aren’t eggs in the potato salad or something. Not much money, because I’m broke, but I’d put like five bucks on it no problem.