•  millie   ( @millie@beehaw.org ) 
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    1 month ago

    Okay, but part of it is phones. Not in like, a ‘kids are always staring at their phones’ sense, but in terms of the ease of communication changing the social landscape.

    When I was in my late teens and early 20s, if you wanted to go hang out with someone, you’d go downtown. You might run into the person you were looking for, you might run into someone completely different and have some crazy unexpected adventure, but it mostly happened in the same place. Even with old flip-phones, they facilitated communication but they didn’t derail or substitute it.

    Want to see what someone’s doing now? You can immediately message them and either know they’re free or busy or that they’re not responding. And yeah, you could call somebody’s phone, but it was different. There was little incentive to keep a phone charged once you were off with your friends, and those early batteries did not last! I remember my mom giving me shit about never having a charge in my phone when she’d try to call me.

    Every day was an unexpected adventure. Very little of it was planned beyond ‘go hang out in town’, but every day was something different. Once all my friends were on social media and carrying smart phones, it changed dramatically. I didn’t have to either go find someone or talk on the phone if I wanted to check in, I just have to message them. There’s no need to go have an adventure to just say ‘hey, what’s up?’. There’s no built-in incentive to team up and go find something to do the way there was when I had to physically get to someone to hang out.

    And yeah, we can still make plans, but that’s different. ‘Plans’ were always there, just as something special and organized, but the default was just hanging around. I don’t feel that anymore in the same way. It’s still there, to some extent, because I see some younger folks hanging around, but not in the numbers we had. Plans require planning and come with some pressure that just seeing people around town never did.

    I think that need to go out and run into random people in order to have a social experience gave us something that we’re missing now.

    Also, like, we know a lot more now. We can see how screwed up humanity is. We know that a lot of our food is the direct result of dystopian sci-fi level torture of entire species. We know that the richest people are happy to light the world on fire to make a buck and that our measures for stopping them have so far not been as effective as we kind of need them to be. We know a lot of the horrible shit people have been doing to one another behind closed doors, and even out in the light of day.

    We know a lot more about everything, but we haven’t really had the time to heal from it as a society or even really fully process it all, let alone change it. Given the limits of youthful autonomy until adulthood, it’s hardly surprising that it’s kinda distressing being stuck in the back seat of a car that’s careening toward a cliff while the previous generation’s driver mindlessly stares at a Facebook meme about kids be on their phones.

    The whole thing is a mess, and younger people are right to be distressed about it. But technology and our struggle to adapt to it is part of that mess.