i know you already posted so this is kind of late, but i think it would be good to post why you’re asking people on the internet if you pass. i think any particular reason is fine; to just do it for validation, or to help you troubleshoot something in particular, if you’re gauging how safe you are, or actually just plain curiousity, whatever
but i also sort of worry about the effects it has on a community for people to be posting pictures and asking if they pass, at least without context. passing is already a rather subjective process, and there’s kind of an implied “passing = good” idea, which can be reinforced by these types of posts
it’s important to acknowledge that there are trans people (trans masc people too!) who either are unable to pass or don’t desire to pass
i think that adding the context of why you want other people’s opinion helps lessen the implicit idea of “passing = good”, which i believe generally leads to a more positive and welcoming space for all trans people (e.g. “i’d like to know if i pass as (gender) for the validation” highlights that this is addressing a specific feeling for you, rather than something general that everyone should desire)
also, i want to clarify that i do not think wanting to pass is a bad thing. it is completely fine for you, individual trans person, to want to pass and appear as your desired gender. what i oppose is the idea that, to be valid, one needs to pass
It’s been a while since you said this, but I didn’t see it earlier. Sorry about that.
I appreciate what you’ve said; I didn’t realize my post had the potential to be harmful.
I will cogitate on your words and consider this in the future.
thanks for taking my words into consideration. i don’t think your post in isolation is really harmful, but it’s more of like, what sort of culture do we want to create? i’ve been online for a long time and in a decent number of trans spaces, so i’ve thought about it a lot, and it can be easy to slip into these sort of nefarious and unhealthy thought patterns
always easier to think about these things upfront, rather than trying to wrangle them when they’ve taken root and people have become accustomed to them
i know you already posted so this is kind of late, but i think it would be good to post why you’re asking people on the internet if you pass. i think any particular reason is fine; to just do it for validation, or to help you troubleshoot something in particular, if you’re gauging how safe you are, or actually just plain curiousity, whatever
but i also sort of worry about the effects it has on a community for people to be posting pictures and asking if they pass, at least without context. passing is already a rather subjective process, and there’s kind of an implied “passing = good” idea, which can be reinforced by these types of posts
it’s important to acknowledge that there are trans people (trans masc people too!) who either are unable to pass or don’t desire to pass
i think that adding the context of why you want other people’s opinion helps lessen the implicit idea of “passing = good”, which i believe generally leads to a more positive and welcoming space for all trans people (e.g. “i’d like to know if i pass as (gender) for the validation” highlights that this is addressing a specific feeling for you, rather than something general that everyone should desire)
also, i want to clarify that i do not think wanting to pass is a bad thing. it is completely fine for you, individual trans person, to want to pass and appear as your desired gender. what i oppose is the idea that, to be valid, one needs to pass
@cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone tagging you because i think you run this place and i’d appreciate it if you gave my post some thought
It’s been a while since you said this, but I didn’t see it earlier. Sorry about that. I appreciate what you’ve said; I didn’t realize my post had the potential to be harmful. I will cogitate on your words and consider this in the future.
thanks for taking my words into consideration. i don’t think your post in isolation is really harmful, but it’s more of like, what sort of culture do we want to create? i’ve been online for a long time and in a decent number of trans spaces, so i’ve thought about it a lot, and it can be easy to slip into these sort of nefarious and unhealthy thought patterns
always easier to think about these things upfront, rather than trying to wrangle them when they’ve taken root and people have become accustomed to them
You bring up a fine point, but I’m not gonna make him do that. That’s his decision to make.