“Why would I want to watch 22 men running around in circles chasing a ball for 90+ minutes? Can’t you just give them 22 balls and every one of them will be happy!?”
It gets better than that. It’s where two lines of buff men line up to checkout another line of men. The quarterback is the top position because he gets to check out his team, the opponents team, and decides who and when to give his balls to. After communicating who is going to be receiving him, both lines embrace and the other team tries to get the ball often by throwing themselves at the guy with the ball.
Sometimes they’ll actually pile on each other when it’s unclear if the guy with the ball has been stopped.
Reminds me of how I always declined, when someone passed a cigarette around:
So, you want me to take the tip of something longish, round, somewhat hard-but-still-soft and strange tasting into my mouth and then suck on it?! No, thanks.
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“Why would I want to watch 22 men running around in circles chasing a ball for 90+ minutes? Can’t you just give them 22 balls and every one of them will be happy!?”
Also not an appreciated response, LOL
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It gets better than that. It’s where two lines of buff men line up to checkout another line of men. The quarterback is the top position because he gets to check out his team, the opponents team, and decides who and when to give his balls to. After communicating who is going to be receiving him, both lines embrace and the other team tries to get the ball often by throwing themselves at the guy with the ball.
Sometimes they’ll actually pile on each other when it’s unclear if the guy with the ball has been stopped.
Edit: nonono wait… the quarter back is a switch
Wrong football!
Hahaha holy shit. I didn’t realize that. Leaving it tho cause American football sounds even gayer now.
How do you tell the difference.
Someone in the comment chain specifically said something like football (soccer).
No I mean when watching them.
If they kick the ball more than once in a one minute period you’re watching football (soccer). If you see helmets you’re watching football (American).
My personal variation of that was “20 men running after a ball so they can put it deep inside the other team’s goal hole”
Reminds me of how I always declined, when someone passed a cigarette around:
Man that’s similar to my take on baseball.
Tall, super-model-fit men swing wood at balls pitched by other men.
Straight guy who enjoys baseball here – youre not wrong!
At least baseball doesn’t need to have a squad of attractive women bouncing around in skirts on the sidelines to affirm the viewers’ sexuality.
I always thought they put them there because without them there’d literally be nothing about the whole affair worth watching.
It does offer about the same amount of (in)action as 'murican handegg
I remember reading an analysis of in-play vs idle time of several popular pro sports, and American football was dead last, even behind baseball.
Which is fine on its own, but pretty ironic given how so many American football fans seem to sneer on soccer for being too boring.
Watching things you don’t understand is generally boring.
You know I never understood the point of cheerleaders other than being fun to look at.
Your explanation makes way more sense.
“We are not gay, we have scantily-dressed womenfolk present, thus proving our masculinity beyond question! Definitely. Not. Gay!”
Lol this is me basically. I find sports especially areas with heavily sport focused culture off putting and honestly revolting