•  Auzy   ( @Auzy@beehaw.org ) 
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    11 months ago

    Why would this be wholesome? I’ve had a psychotic ex and a toxic bf theaten me before (the divorced husband swerved at my car, and a new bf threatened to drop by my house if she continued talking to me). The ex husband also appeared to be tracking his wife at one point when we went hiking, despite their breakup

    Why would any one think this is ok behavior, let alone something that is wholesome? In reality, if I saw anyone I knew posting something like this, I’d be posting it to police instantly.

    If I was the ex, I’d be worried she’d take things into her own hands eventually, so it’s definitely reportable. The fact the obviously crazy ex things it’s just fun and games is even worse

    • Something like what you went through would be highly traumatizing, and one of my parents experienced something similar themselves – the police weren’t going to care until a crime was committed (which would be…maybe too late?), and the guy trying to date her wouldn’t stop attempting to murder her bf until said bf climbed out of his totaled car with a gun. I’ve dealt with threats like that a couple times, myself, as well, and I wouldn’t intend to make light of it. I’m really not wanting the rest of this to sound like I’m brushing off what you mean.

      The offer of service comes off as a turn of phrase to me because it’s more often than not, in my personal experience, said in jest. “Your boss won’t stop calling you on your day off? Sibling being really annoying in the background? Do you want me to go over to their house and break their legs? I’ll break their legs for you.”

      8 times out of 10, the speaker is using deliberately hyperbolic humor to empathize with someone’s frustrations. Which is the thoughtful part. Part of me does wish, jokingly, that I could skin them alive and be done with it, thank you for noticing and agreeing that things are bullshit right now.

      Which means to me, personally, having a serious problem with it would, unfortunately, tend to come off like my grandpa going on a rant every time someone said “Kill two birds with one stone” because in his opinion it was “abusive to birds.” Technically it is, but it’s a turn of phrase. One whose words do not make me more likely to…go out and throw rocks at a pigeon.

      It would be very fair to question whether it’s the kind of joke one should really be making and whether doing so is linked to an increased propensity for violence. I would wager it is linked, but not by very much? I’m interested in this now, I need a research grant of some sort… Language is important.

      But nevertheless, there is nuance in the intent and the jokingly empathetic meaning seems to be the norm or most of the last two generations would routinely waste the FBI’s time.