How do you argue with someone who’s confused a lack of emotional connection to a topic with objectivity and rationality? Say a topic profoundly affects you and those you care about, but not the other person, so you get angry and flustered and they seem to think this means you’re less objective as a result and it’s an easy win.

  • Maybe you could prod them by asking them questions designed to highlight their unconscious biases? Assuming that they’re not a malicious actor of course and actually genuinely trying to learn and expand their worldview.

    I do think it’s important to determine whether the person you’re arguing with actually cares to grow and learn or if they’re just trying to start fights with people and “win” arguments with comments that take a lot of nuance to address. In the cases where they don’t care, don’t waste your breath on arguing with someone who’s sole purpose is to make you angry. They don’t care about your nuanced answer.

    I forget how the original phrase goes, but someone once said that these people use language as a toy to play with, while the reasonable person uses it to justify their actions.