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dullbananas (joseph silva) ( dullbananas@lemmy.ca )  to Programmer Humor@lemmy.mlEnglish · 3 years ago

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dullbananas (joseph silva) ( dullbananas@lemmy.ca )  to Programmer Humor@lemmy.mlEnglish · 3 years ago
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  • FlumPHP ( flumph@programming.dev ) 
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    These people don’t even read their own literature. The Catholic church’s ban on alchemy is about falsely claiming something is a valuable metal in order to pay for debts. It has nothing to do with the occult – the ban was because it’s a sin to lie / cheat / steal. A saint is even on record saying that alchemical gold is ok if the end if product is real gold.

    With that context, of course God doesn’t give a shit if you use SQLAlchemy as long as you aren’t using it to defraud people. If you were defrauding people, it wouldn’t matter what tool you used.

    .

    • Naich ( Naich@kbin.social ) 
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      I’m shocked that a person who thinks the name of a piece of software can harm them doesn’t understand their own religion.

    • bh11235 ( bh11235@infosec.pub ) 
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      Now of course one could make some damning argument about the state of the tech industry in practice, resulting in one of those bell curve memes with “using SQLalchemy is a sin” on both far sides and “noooo it’s just a name it’s fine there’s no fraud involved” in the middle

    • 0x4E4F ( 0x4E4F@infosec.pub ) 
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      If you were defrauding people, it wouldn’t matter what tool you used.

      Stays silent while coding the JezuzLovezU worm…

    • MonkderZweite ( MonkderZweite@feddit.ch ) 
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      Well, god generally doesn’t give a shit at all if he exists, so there’s that.

  • darkpanda ( darkpanda@lemmy.ca ) 
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    Better not tell them about daemons I guess.

    • Maestro ( Maestro@kbin.social ) 
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      From the title of the screenshot I was sure it was going to be about daemons.

    • 𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒏 ( lemann@lemmy.one ) 
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      3 years ago

      Or about the D.E.V.I.L.S. format listing option on ffmpeg

  • Godort ( Godort@lemm.ee ) 
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    Just wait until they learn about Daemons

    • Scrof ( Scrof@sopuli.xyz ) 
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      3 years ago

      And killing children.

      • dylanmorgan ( dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net ) 
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        3 years ago

        Master/slave systems are probably a-ok for them though.

        • 30p87 ( 30p87@feddit.de ) 
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          The only reason killing children is bad in their view would be if the child is unborn/not spawned already or if they want to abuse it but can’t anymore.

      • velox_vulnus ( velox_vulnus@lemmy.ml ) 
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        deleted by creator

        • acockworkorange ( acockworkorange@mander.xyz ) 
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          That’s actually sacred.

      • far_university1990 ( far_university1990@feddit.de ) 
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        3 years ago

        And detaching/reattaching git heads.

      • holycrap ( holycrap@lemm.ee ) 
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        They’d probably be fine with that as long as they’re not unborn

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de ) 
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    Yet they say “Easter Eggs”, referring to a Pagan tradition. As hypocritical as it gets.

  • some_guy ( some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ) 
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    The user shouldn’t code in Python. That’s a fucking serpent. It caused Eve to eat the apple. Original sin. Holy shit, the most popular coding language is from the fucking devil! Mask off, mind blown, what the eff.

    • MacN'Cheezus ( MacNCheezus@lemmy.today ) 
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      On that note, I sure hope he doesn’t uses any Apple products either.

      • Mossheart ( Mossheart@lemmy.ca ) 
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        I mean, that Apple logo has a bite out of it. Eve’s bite! And it ships with Python!

        Someone call the Inquisition!

      • palordrolap ( palordrolap@kbin.social ) 
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        TL;DR The fruit of the tree of knowledge being a literal apple is non-canon, being entirely based on a pun.

        The word “apple” is not used in the Bible, that is, unless the Bible in question is a translation that specifically uses that word. Even then, see below.

        The whole apple thing comes from:

        1. the fact that the word for “apple” can be used as a synonym for “(any) fruit” in some languages and context, and so could mean any fruit.

        Think about French pomme de terre for “potato” which is literally “apple (meaning ‘fruit’) of the earth”. Dutch has aardappel (earth apple) which is the same thing. Fun fact: Old English eorþæppel (earth apple) allegedly meant “cucumber”. Go figure. But I digress.

        1. Latin is the main ecclesiastical language for one particularly influential branch of Christianity and one word for apple in Latin is “malus”. That sounds like a lot of unrelated Latin words that start “mal-” that mean bad or evil, thus an apparent connection to the fruit of the tree of knowledge also leading to evil.

        (I mean, it might actually be a proto-apple of some sort (modern apples did not exist 7000 years ago or whenever it was supposed to be) but the Bible doesn’t specify.

        Some scholars think that the whole thing developed out of metaphor for abandoning a hunter-gatherer lifestyle for farming. Others think that it might be a reference to beer / alcohol, which is one of the first things humans got interested in after farming.)

        • Malgas ( Malgas@beehaw.org ) 
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          Latin also used apple as a stand-in for generic fruit, cf. malum persicum (“Persian apple”) meaning peach.

          And, fun fact, the English word “pineapple” was originally synonymous with “pinecone” (i.e. the fruit of the pine tree).

    • linuxdweeb ( linuxdweeb@lemm.ee ) 
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      #SayingTheQuietPartOutLoud

      Computer programmers are the devil.

      • antrosapien ( antrosapien@lemmy.ml ) 
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        They do some sorcery

  • Pfnic ( Pfnic@feddit.ch ) 
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    This is the kind of person who would stick to IDE (with master and slave disks ofc) because S-ATA is only an N away from eternal damnation

    • Malfeasant ( Malfeasant@lemm.ee ) 
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      Church lady has entered the chat…

  • Littleborat ( Littleborat@feddit.de ) 
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    I just skimmed this but shouldn’t people who are unable/ubwilling to live in the modern world be true to themselves and also not code in some demonic language?

    Just skip it and piss off dear catholic

    • body_by_make ( Cqrd@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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      Wait until they learn about daemons

      • Littleborat ( Littleborat@feddit.de ) 
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        Even the real daemons are just spirits it’s the Christians who literally demonized them.

        The idiocy goes back more than a millenium.

        • ThunderclapSasquatch ( ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website ) 
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          If Christians are idiots then so are the “pagans”, religion is religion. Don’t defend one because you hate another.

          • corsicanguppy ( corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ) 
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            it’s easier to find obvious faults when something is held close for examination. Shoving this one in our faces has given us greater opportunity for close study. Other brands of hokum may include an actual space ship to rocket the most a faithful away or a con man who this one final time miraculously went straight, rituals with one rolled pant-leg, or alien spirits living in volcanoes. But we don’t talk about them so much as they keep their weirdness in the shadows.

            • ThunderclapSasquatch ( ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website ) 
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              Aight I recognize most of those, who’s the pant leg?

          • DeepGradientAscent ( DeepGradientAscent@programming.dev ) Banned
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            Removed by mod

            • ThunderclapSasquatch ( ThunderclapSasquatch@startrek.website ) 
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              Exactly

      • Malfeasant ( Malfeasant@lemm.ee ) 
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        I had a crazy Catholic prepper neighbor way back in '99 (she was the hipster of preppers, one of the things she railed about was all the people prepping just for y2k when she had already been doing it for years, but that’s another story) and one of her things was how evil bill gates was- so I told her Linux was evil-er because of the daemons. Gave her a lot to think about.

      • JackGreenEarth ( JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee ) 
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        Does that command refer to the His Dark Materials thing? I thought regular demons were spelt without the a, but maybe it’s an old spelling.

        • body_by_make ( Cqrd@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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          https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daemon_(computing)

          The term was coined by the programmers at MIT’s Project MAC. According to Fernando J. Corbató, who worked on Project MAC in 1963, his team was the first to use the term daemon, inspired by Maxwell’s demon, an imaginary agent in physics and thermodynamics that helped to sort molecules, stating, “We fancifully began to use the word daemon to describe background processes that worked tirelessly to perform system chores”.[2] Unix systems inherited this terminology. Maxwell’s demon is consistent with Greek mythology’s interpretation of a daemon as a supernatural being working in the background.

  • Phen ( Phen@lemmy.eco.br ) 
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    I used to have an rpg on steam, with “fantasy” in the name. One day someone sent me an email asking if there was any way to remove all references to magic from the game so they could play it, as having witches and stuff was a big no for them, but they still wanted to try the game.

    • evatronic ( evatronic@lemm.ee ) 
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      I would immediately patch in a “no witches” mode.

      Every instance of “witch” is replaced with “warlock”.

      And if there were graphics, every witch would have a photorealistic penis hanging out the front of her his robes.

    • BananaOnionJuice ( BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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      Sure fam, unchecks “Magic, Witches and stuff”.

      Then they can interact with peasant NPCs all day long.

      • UpperBroccoli ( UpperBroccoli@feddit.de ) 
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        Hello there, stranger! I seem to have misplaced my ring! You look gullible enough that I can trick you into looking for it for me, because I am too lazy to do it myself!

    • Sonori ( sonori@beehaw.org ) 
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      You know, it would be really nice if some of them actually knew what that book was talking about sometimes. From my understanding the Bible describes and condemns witchcraft as making deals with evil for power, and basically uses it as condemnation of thinking that the ends can ever justify the means by taking things to the logical extreme.

      In most modern settings at least, magic is either an inerhant trait, lots of carful study, or a bargain with a benign spirit of some variety.

      There’s is admittedly a long history of people missing the point of this, most of which stated by an utter loon trying to get back at is ex. The people at the time utterly ignored medieval Karen, but this drove him to rant a lot in writings which then got used as a source by latter assholes to justify gojng after the people they wanted to get back at.

      All of which ignores the obvious of course, which is to say the Bible doesn’t say you can’t experience story’s about sin in the first place.

      • Kanda ( Kanda@reddthat.com ) 
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        Isn’t almost all of the Bible (as in everything leading up to Jesus and then also most of the reality Jesus encountered) a story about sin?

        • I Cast Fist ( ICastFist@programming.dev ) 
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          And near incest, and killing, and more killing, and shit going down, god getting angry and killing people, and some other stuff.

      • DarkenLM ( DarkenLM@kbin.social ) 
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        And OP talks about Alchemy, which commonly uses the energy that different materials have inherently to create magical artifacts.

        It’s literally using what God already created.

  • LillyPip ( LillyPip@lemmy.ca ) 
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    It must be exhausting to go through life saddled with so much mental bullshit.

    • HiddenLayer5 ( HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml ) 
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      deleted by creator

    • cameron_vale ( cameron_vale@lemm.ee ) 
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      deleted by creator

  • WoodlandAlliance ( WoodlandAlliance@lemm.ee ) 
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    deleted by creator

    • dullbananas (joseph silva) ( dullbananas@lemmy.ca ) OP
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      I’m super Catholic and I approve this message.

      • WoodlandAlliance ( WoodlandAlliance@lemm.ee ) 
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        deleted by creator

  • soulfirethewolf ( soulfirethewolf@lemdro.id ) 
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    Alchemy isn’t even a strictly occult thing. It was something done in the medieval era that was basically a very early form of science before most of the things they were trying to do were considered impossible

    • neosheo ( neosheo@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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      I mean alchemy is an occult practice. It’s just history only pays attention to the physical aspects (turning things into gold, etc). Often times the medium to turn a substance into gold is called the philosophers stone

      But this is only a portion of it. The philosophers stone in alchemy is actually spiritual enlightenment or becoming one with everything. Hence the concept of turning anything into gold, gold being enlightenment and the universe and the plain material before the transformation is preenlightened individuals. They all become the same (one, gold) after attaining it.

      Most alchemical philosophy is occult/spiritual and the chemistry aspects are a metaphor for the evolution of the soul.

      I think because modernity is mostly materialist in its philosophy that we ignore the underlying spirituality associated with alchemy

    • Malgas ( Malgas@beehaw.org ) 
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      And, to the extent that it was occult, it was typically biblical occultism. There was a big emphasis on the wisdom of Solomon in particular.

    • neptune ( neptune@dmv.social ) 
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      The church did frown upon it at the time, if I recall. For example, Newton spent years on alchemy yet that’s forgotten

      • shastaxc ( shasta@lemm.ee ) 
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        Glad he didn’t overdose on alchemy

  • Daxtron2 ( Daxtron2@startrek.website ) 
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    Oooh spooky alembics ⚗⚗⚗

    • I Cast Fist ( ICastFist@programming.dev ) 
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      The tool of the trade of those occultist sinners in Morrowind

      • SheDiceToday ( SheDiceToday@eslemmy.es ) 
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        Mmm, hours at the computer, creating all these demonic potions of alchemy +XXX.

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de ) 
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    Use Ark to compress all your files and place them in a shielded metal box. Save yourself from the flood of solar flares that God will send to rid the world of all the sinful data. Make sure to include exactly 2 copies of each of God’s programs.

  • hex_m_hell ( hex_m_hell@slrpnk.net ) 
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    This person is really gonna hate my new web framework “I submit to the horned lord, Lucifer, the light bringer and ruler of this world. All hail Satan.”

    I think it’s gonna be big since it’s the only web framework for Malbolge.

    • Queen HawlSera ( HawlSera@lemm.ee ) 
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      Lucifer and Satan aren’t the same entity.

      These are titles not names

      • hex_m_hell ( hex_m_hell@slrpnk.net ) 
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        It’s OK. I’m making a joke, not calling the corners… Though I guess this could be sort of a ward for a software community, but I think it wouldn’t have to be any kind of accurate to work given the entity it’s keeping out.

      • TheFriendlyArtificer ( TheFriendlyArtificer@beehaw.org ) 
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        Depends on how you interpret the Golden Age text. But you’re correct that the former is the light bringer and the latter is adversary/legal opponent.

        But the silver age crap messed with that canon.

        My head canon is that Lucifer was a member of the Q Continuum while Satan was a misunderstood Time Lord.

        The Pope needs to have a sit-down with the folks at Disney to learn how to properly manage a shared imaginary universe.

        • Queen HawlSera ( HawlSera@lemm.ee ) 
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          Bro, you’re not in high school anymore. No one is impressed that you threw a fit when Mom took you to church that one time.

          Also I wouldn’t get Disney’s help for a shared imaginary universe, considering the Marvel Cinematic Universe was cool, but it’s been going on too long, none of the shows are any good.

          It really should have ended it end game, because it just feels like every movie now is just build up for a different thing, and the only part of it anyone cares about anymore is what Spider-Man meme are they going to do?

          • TheFriendlyArtificer ( TheFriendlyArtificer@beehaw.org ) 
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            I was sexually assaulted multiple times at multiple churches.

            Fuck you and fuck your trivializing.

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de ) 
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    […]tempted [to use] another tool called “Peewee”

    Oh yes, OOP is definitely a Catholic priest

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