But…. They’re cunts. Lovely cunts. Cunts I’d do anything for. But still cunts.

… I couldn’t eat a whole one.

But… They’re hypothetical

my wife had a rough end of the day yesterday. it was mostly a nice day with our daughter (turning 4 in may) while i was at work, then out of nowhere she got hit with “i dont love you” while they were transitioning between activities. no conflict or anything.

while trying to talk it out, my daughter started saying that my wife hit her in the face and pushed her in the pool on our trip to puerto vallarta in october which is completely untrue (besides me there were four other in-laws around us at all times during the trip so there wouldve been drama if that did happen). my wife broke down because she didnt know how to handle that (what if she decided to say that in front of a teacher?).

then she just dropped it. she didnt seem remorseful, and she also didnt even say i love you to her. so when i get home, almost like rubbing it in, she starts singing a song about how she loves me. this and the fact that i was diagnosed with adhd as a kid makes me feel guilty for making my wifes job way more difficult.

this is all compounded by my wife raising her voice at my daughter a couple of times recently. she has always been the kind of kid who pushes boundaries to the max, who always grabs things without asking, whose reaction to school pickup and ending a day at the park is to run away and make us chase her. the incidents of my wife raising her voice were when my daughter decided to run while she was on a busy avenue, because despite drilling it into her head every time we get to a crosswalk, we dont trust that she wont impulsively ignore what shes supposed to do. since then she has ssid a few times she didnt want mommy to be with us for breskfast, which she and i make together every morning, “because what if she gets mad?”

really sorry for the rant and a half here, but its been that kind of day. so, i love my daughter, but i really wish she could just learn to chill out.

Damn, you get to wake up at 6? Lucky. I’m lucky if my kid sleeps past 5:30.

I love my kid but sometimes I wish they’d just shut up and listen. Then I realize how much I hated that mindset (I associate it with how my grandparents would have raised their kids) and try to find the patience to listen.

This kind of question always reminds me of Jeremy Clarkson’s review of the Maserati Quattroporte on Top Gear (before he got fired for assaulting someone). No, no, stay with me.

He said, of the car, “Owning this car is like owning a two-year old child. It’s really annoying for a lot of the time but if someone tried to take it away from you, you’d kill them.” It’s the kind of perspective only a parent could really understand.

I was finding all these comments so fascinating and beautiful that I forgot I’m having my first kid in 3 weeks. I’m now even more terrified than I was! Especially by the dude who eats his children. I am tempted to find out what flavour they are though.