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PugJesus ( PugJesus@kbin.social )  to RPGMemes @ttrpg.network · 2 years ago

Gobbo disappointment

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Gobbo disappointment

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PugJesus ( PugJesus@kbin.social )  to RPGMemes @ttrpg.network · 2 years ago
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  • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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    2 years ago

    If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.

    • Zozano ( Zozano@aussie.zone ) 
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      I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.

      Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.

      Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.

      Anatomically incompatible, probably.

      • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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        2 years ago

        Bro, the genre’s called fantasy for a reason.

        Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be…

        • SpeakingColors ( SpeakingColors@beehaw.org ) 
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          If that’s the same criteria you use for looking for that someone, and you proceed with an open and courageous heart: it won’t be a dream.

          And I would say that we have general artistic conventions of depicting elements the previous commentor suggested: smell lines, meat in teeth, etc… Their absence from the scene leads me to believe the commentor’s interpretation is far from the artist’s intentions.

          • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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            2 years ago

            I appreciate the heartfelt advice but I’m mostly just riffing.

            My real problem is that staying home and playing video games is less work and more immediately gratifying than getting out and trying to meet someone, but I recognize that complaining about that just means I’m trying to have my cake and eat it too.

            • exocrinous ( exocrinous@startrek.website ) Banned
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              2 years ago

              Removed by mod

              • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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                Wouldn’t it be eat your cake and still have it?

                The idiom is generally phrased “have your cake and eat it too” but yeah that’s rather confusing. The way you said it is how I actually understand it in my head.

                I think the way English Common has evolved doesn’t help either, because “to have” is now synonymous with “to eat” in the context of food, but I don’t think it was that way when the idiom was coined. It’s actually about 500 years old according to Wikipedia.

          • MonkderDritte ( MonkderDritte@feddit.de ) 
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            2 years ago

            The goblin swinging a club on the other hand…

        • strongarm ( strongarm@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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          2 years ago

          She doesn’t love you, you’re the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs

          • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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            2 years ago

            Beggars can’t be choosers.

          • bastion ( bastion@feddit.nl ) 
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            2 years ago

            Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. …and she grabbed it before she ate it.

        • FartsWithAnAccent ( FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ) 
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          2 years ago

          Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.

          • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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            2 years ago

            Hey, that’s not fair to the goblin.

      • DigitalDruid ( DigitalDruid@lemmy.sdf.org ) 
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        2 years ago

        deleted by creator

        • GBU_28 ( GBU_28@lemm.ee ) 
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          2 years ago

          You ever smelled a coyote or a raccoon?

          • MrBusiness ( MrBusiness@lemmy.zip ) 
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            2 years ago

            Raccoon yes, coyotes usually pull a gun on me if I get too close.

      • exocrinous ( exocrinous@startrek.website ) Banned
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        Removed by mod

        • Zozano ( Zozano@aussie.zone ) 
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          2 years ago

          Does your doctor prescribe your copeium, or is it synthesised in your bathtub?

      • Swedneck ( Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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        2 years ago

        you’re aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.

        Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.

        • Zozano ( Zozano@aussie.zone ) 
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          2 years ago

          Anatomically incompatible meaning… Well… You ever tried to put a sausage inside a garden hose?

          • Ricky Rigatoni ( rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee ) 
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            2 years ago

            yeah and it worked after i cut a bit off so what’s your point

            • bastion ( bastion@feddit.nl ) 
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              2 years ago

              Is this how circumcision works?

              • Ricky Rigatoni ( rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee ) 
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                2 years ago

                Yes.

          • Swedneck ( Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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            2 years ago

            Like i said, people can be in relationships without penetrative sex, or do you think lesbian marriages are invalid?

          • Hootz ( Hootz@lemmy.ca ) 
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            2 years ago

            Not since I was a kid, it fit but barely… It was a firehose though so idk if that counts.

      • Kedly ( Kedly@lemm.ee ) 
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        2 years ago

        I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible

      • Hootz ( Hootz@lemmy.ca ) 
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        2 years ago

        Your browser does not support playing HTML5 video. You can download a copy of the video file instead.

      • LoudWaterHombre ( loudWaterEnjoyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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        2 years ago

        You had me at smells like shit

      • pjnick ( pjnick@ttrpg.network ) 
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        2 years ago

        Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance

      • paragade ( paragade@lemmy.ca ) 
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        2 years ago

        Making a lot of assumptions and claims about a literal fantasy creature.

        • Zozano ( Zozano@aussie.zone ) 
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          2 years ago

          Sure, but I’m probably right, based off franchise lore.

    • skulblaka ( skulblaka@startrek.website ) 
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    • Swordgeek ( swordgeek@lemmy.ca ) 
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      If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.

      FTFY

    • The Octonaut ( TheOctonaut@mander.xyz ) 
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      She’s like 7 years old and roughly that size too.

      @fbi@fbi.gov deal with this guy

      • KairuByte ( KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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        The average goblin is about 3 to 3.5ft. And you can’t really tell a goblins age by looking at them. Admittedly, they reach adulthood at ~8 years old, but they live to 60.

        You’re reaching, and it’s kinda creepy.

        • The Octonaut ( TheOctonaut@mander.xyz ) 
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          It’s a joke my friend. The FBI don’t actually have a lemmy server

          • KairuByte ( KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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            Ya don’t joke about that kinda stuff.

        • Kusimulkku ( Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ) 
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          2 years ago

          “It just looks like a kid”

          Yeah a bit too much for me lol

      • Lowlee Kun ( Obonga@feddit.de ) 
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        Sad truth is, the government does not care about the wellbeing of goblins. Shameful.

        That said, i do not see a mention of age.

      • Swedneck ( Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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        i will never understand the idea that human age limits would apply to a completely different species, if they’re fully mature and capable of consent at 9 years old then that’s their age limit, we don’t get to impose that on their species.

        Should we stop birds from getting it on with each other because they mature within a year or two? I think they might take offense to that, and i don’t want to face an angry goose.

      • Technus ( Technus@lemmy.zip ) 
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        deleted by creator

  • Wugmeister ( ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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    deleted by creator

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆 ( Kolanaki@yiffit.net ) 
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    2 years ago

    What the fuck? Oh hell yes!

  • mogoh ( mogoh@lemmy.ml ) 
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    I think this is the wrong community for this type of comics …

    • No_Eponym ( No_Eponym@lemmy.ca ) 
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      I think this is the wrong community for this type of comment …

  • Wanderer ( Wanderer@lemm.ee ) 
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    Wasn’t there a Goblin Waifu game that was alright?

  • FartsWithAnAccent ( FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ) 
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    Hygiene for starters…

  • Sigilos ( BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network ) 
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    2 years ago

    “Your a cute short-queen, sure. Been wondering what it would be like to have a squeaker toy, let’s go take a bath together to celebrate.”

    “😍”

    Edit: I am unsurpised and mildly disappointed that some folks have such narrow minds combined with a lack of humor. Truly a pity.

  • therealjcdenton ( therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip ) 
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    2 years ago

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