- Technus ( @Technus@lemmy.zip ) 72•5 months ago
If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.
- Zozano ( @Zozano@aussie.zone ) 79•5 months ago
I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.
Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.
Anatomically incompatible, probably.
- Technus ( @Technus@lemmy.zip ) 59•5 months ago
Bro, the genre’s called fantasy for a reason.
Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be…
- SpeakingColors ( @SpeakingColors@beehaw.org ) 23•5 months ago
If that’s the same criteria you use for looking for that someone, and you proceed with an open and courageous heart: it won’t be a dream.
And I would say that we have general artistic conventions of depicting elements the previous commentor suggested: smell lines, meat in teeth, etc… Their absence from the scene leads me to believe the commentor’s interpretation is far from the artist’s intentions.
- Technus ( @Technus@lemmy.zip ) 16•5 months ago
I appreciate the heartfelt advice but I’m mostly just riffing.
My real problem is that staying home and playing video games is less work and more immediately gratifying than getting out and trying to meet someone, but I recognize that complaining about that just means I’m trying to have my cake and eat it too.
- MonkderDritte ( @MonkderDritte@feddit.de ) 9•5 months ago
The goblin swinging a club on the other hand…
- strongarm ( @strongarm@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 9•5 months ago
She doesn’t love you, you’re the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs
- Technus ( @Technus@lemmy.zip ) 12•5 months ago
Beggars can’t be choosers.
- bastion ( @bastion@feddit.nl ) 2•5 months ago
Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. …and she grabbed it before she ate it.
- FartsWithAnAccent ( @FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ) 8•5 months ago
Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.
- Technus ( @Technus@lemmy.zip ) 5•5 months ago
Hey, that’s not fair to the goblin.
- Swedneck ( @Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) 7•5 months ago
you’re aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.
Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.
- Zozano ( @Zozano@aussie.zone ) 3•5 months ago
Anatomically incompatible meaning… Well… You ever tried to put a sausage inside a garden hose?
- rickyrigatoni ( @rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee ) 6•5 months ago
yeah and it worked after i cut a bit off so what’s your point
- bastion ( @bastion@feddit.nl ) 3•5 months ago
Is this how circumcision works?
- rickyrigatoni ( @rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee ) 1•5 months ago
Yes.
- Swedneck ( @Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) 5•5 months ago
Like i said, people can be in relationships without penetrative sex, or do you think lesbian marriages are invalid?
- Hootz ( @Hootz@lemmy.ca ) 2•5 months ago
Not since I was a kid, it fit but barely… It was a firehose though so idk if that counts.
- Kedly ( @Kedly@lemm.ee ) 6•5 months ago
I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible
- LoudWaterHombre ( @loudWaterEnjoyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 3•5 months ago
You had me at smells like shit
- Hootz ( @Hootz@lemmy.ca ) 3•5 months ago
- pjnick ( @pjnick@ttrpg.network ) 1•5 months ago
Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance
- paragade ( @paragade@lemmy.ca ) English1•5 months ago
Making a lot of assumptions and claims about a literal fantasy creature.
- Zozano ( @Zozano@aussie.zone ) 1•5 months ago
Sure, but I’m probably right, based off franchise lore.
- skulblaka ( @skulblaka@startrek.website ) 26•5 months ago
- Swordgeek ( @swordgeek@lemmy.ca ) 9•5 months ago
If a
cute goblinwoman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.FTFY
- The Octonaut ( @TheOctonaut@mander.xyz ) 2•5 months ago
She’s like 7 years old and roughly that size too.
@fbi@fbi.gov deal with this guy
- KairuByte ( @KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 12•5 months ago
The average goblin is about 3 to 3.5ft. And you can’t really tell a goblins age by looking at them. Admittedly, they reach adulthood at ~8 years old, but they live to 60.
You’re reaching, and it’s kinda creepy.
- The Octonaut ( @TheOctonaut@mander.xyz ) 2•5 months ago
It’s a joke my friend. The FBI don’t actually have a lemmy server
- KairuByte ( @KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 6•5 months ago
Ya don’t joke about that kinda stuff.
- Kusimulkku ( @Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ) 1•5 months ago
“It just looks like a kid”
Yeah a bit too much for me lol
- Lowlee Kun ( @Obonga@feddit.de ) 8•5 months ago
Sad truth is, the government does not care about the wellbeing of goblins. Shameful.
That said, i do not see a mention of age.
- Swedneck ( @Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) 2•5 months ago
i will never understand the idea that human age limits would apply to a completely different species, if they’re fully mature and capable of consent at 9 years old then that’s their age limit, we don’t get to impose that on their species.
Should we stop birds from getting it on with each other because they mature within a year or two? I think they might take offense to that, and i don’t want to face an angry goose.
- Wugmeister ( @ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) English17•5 months ago
I am so sick of these unrealistic body standards.
- 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️ ( @Kolanaki@yiffit.net ) English15•5 months ago
What the fuck? Oh hell yes!
- mogoh ( @mogoh@lemmy.ml ) 11•5 months ago
I think this is the wrong community for this type of comics …
- No_Eponym ( @No_Eponym@lemmy.ca ) 18•5 months ago
I think this is the wrong community for this type of comment …
- FartsWithAnAccent ( @FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ) 7•5 months ago
Hygiene for starters…
- Wanderer ( @Wanderer@lemm.ee ) 7•5 months ago
Wasn’t there a Goblin Waifu game that was alright?
- Sigilos ( @BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network ) 4•5 months ago
“Your a cute short-queen, sure. Been wondering what it would be like to have a squeaker toy, let’s go take a bath together to celebrate.”
“😍”
Edit: I am unsurpised and mildly disappointed that some folks have such narrow minds combined with a lack of humor. Truly a pity.
- therealjcdenton ( @therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip ) English4•5 months ago