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Chris Remington ( remington@beehaw.org ) MA to Jokes and Humor · 2 years ago

Mammals

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Mammals

Chris Remington ( remington@beehaw.org ) MA to Jokes and Humor · 2 years ago
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  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆 ( Kolanaki@yiffit.net ) 
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    2 years ago

    They’re not warm blooded. Maybe they’re flamingos.

    • frog 🐸 ( frog@beehaw.org ) 
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      2 years ago

      And they produce dairy-free milk, whereas mammal milk is definitely of the dairy variety.

      • Dave ( Dave@lemmy.nz ) 
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        2 years ago

        Is human milk a dairy product?

        • FiniteBanjo ( FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today ) 
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          2 years ago

          Human milk certainly contains Lactose and Whey Protein.

          • Dave ( Dave@lemmy.nz ) 
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            2 years ago

            But is it a dairy product?

            • FiniteBanjo ( FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today ) 
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              2 years ago

              I just gave you a pretty succinct definition of Dairy. Yes.

              • Dave ( Dave@lemmy.nz ) 
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                2 years ago

                Google shows conflicting answers and the Wikipedia page doesn’t list human milk.

                • TachyonTele ( TachyonTele@lemm.ee ) 
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                  2 years ago

                  And we all know how trustworthy Google Search is…

                • FiniteBanjo ( FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today ) 
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                  Well if you go by FDA’s Title 21 Chapter I Subchapter B Part 131 Subpart B then not only is human milk not a dairy product but the only animal who produces milk is a cow, however in 2018 they requested submissions weighing in on whether plant products should continue to use “dairy group” words such as milk and yogurt on their labeling, so I think there is probably some leeway on this.

        • Leate_Wonceslace ( Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com ) 
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          2 years ago

          Yes, but it’s pretty difficult to buy.

          • Sam Vimes ( SamVimes@beehaw.org ) 
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            2 years ago

            It’s not actually especially difficult. People who produce more than their kid needs will sell or give away the extra to people who are struggling to produce enough. Also… Some hardcore body builders buy it as well.

            • jlow (he/him) ( jlow@beehaw.org ) 
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              2 years ago

              There’s apparently also breastmilk ice-cream!

          • gandalf_der_12te ( gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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            2 years ago

            Also, beware the diseases. Milk can spread virus AFAIK.

    • gregorum ( gregorum@lemm.ee ) 
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      2 years ago

      They’re not warm blooded.

      depends on the climate. natural habitat: yes. grocery store: no.

      • Zagorath ( Zagorath@aussie.zone ) 
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        2 years ago

        By definition, “warm blooded” means “produce their own heat” (obviously drastically simplified). I don’t think it matters whether the coconut is on a deserted island or on the shelf at Woollies, it’s still not warm blooded.

        • Dave ( Dave@lemmy.nz ) 
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          What if it’s on fire, using it’s own energy to produce the heat?

          • key ( key@lemmy.keychat.org ) 
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            2 years ago

            As I’m burning I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m finally mammal.

            -the coconut

      • hydroptic ( hydroptic@sopuli.xyz ) 
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        2 years ago

        I mean, that sounds like poikilothermy to me

  • megopie ( megopie@beehaw.org ) 
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    2 years ago

    They don’t secrete a filtered blood derived substance through modified sweat glands, thus not milk producing, nearly milk substitute producing.

    Wild thought, vampires that drink milk instead of blood.

    • oo1 ( oo1@kbin.social ) 
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      2 years ago

      you mean like human babies?

    • Crackhappy ( Crackhappy@lemmynsfw.com ) 
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      2 years ago

      Fuck. I’m a milk vampire.

      • Crackhappy ( Crackhappy@lemmynsfw.com ) 
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        2 years ago

        Mampire?

        • jol ( jol@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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          2 years ago

          Mamapire.

  • FiniteBanjo ( FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today ) 
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    2 years ago

    Neither Coconuts nor Oats have Mammary Exocrine Glands

    • meyotch ( meyotch@slrpnk.net ) 
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      2 years ago

      I heard that in Sheldon Coopers voice.

  • jarfil ( jarfil@beehaw.org ) 
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    2 years ago

    You can milk any animal that has nipples… but, do coconuts have nipples?!

    I rest my case 😎

    • Inevitable Waffles [Ohio] ( InevitableWaffles@midwest.social ) 
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      I have nipples @jarfil@beehaw.org , could you milk me?

      • nospoon ( duramu@beehaw.org ) 
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        Is not about the nips, but the mammary glands.

  • midnight ( midnight@kbin.social ) 
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    Behold, a man!

  • Zagorath ( Zagorath@aussie.zone ) 
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    2 years ago

    Mammals aren’t “living organisms with fur and milk”. They’re “the most recent common ancestor of the echidna and the cat, and anything descended from that”.

    • pooberbee (she/her) ( pooberbee@lemmy.ml ) 
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      Whoa, so cats came from coconuts?

      • metaStatic ( metaStatic@kbin.social ) 
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        2 years ago

        Then why are there still coconuts? Check mate atheists

        • TachyonTele ( TachyonTele@lemm.ee ) 
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          Proof that humans and coconuts lived together. Suck it science!

    • CarbonIceDragon ( CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ) 
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      echidna I understand, but why cat?

      • Zagorath ( Zagorath@aussie.zone ) 
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        The actual definition is “monotremes and placental mammals”. I just picked one of each.

    • jarfil ( jarfil@beehaw.org ) 
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      You can milk a cat, that checks out.

  • leftzero ( leftzero@lemmynsfw.com ) 
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    Nah, coconuts don’t have the right kind of teeth and ear bones.

  • gandalf_der_12te ( gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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    While “having fur and producing milk” may have been the original description of mammals, biology no longer classifies things that way.

    Today, all of the classification is based on Clades, which can be established by doing DNA investigation (similarity matching). So, “mammals” are defined as a clade. And whether somebody falls into it or not depends on their DNA similarity. And coconut clearly do not belong into there.

  • nomad ( Nomad@infosec.pub ) 
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    Geez I thought we left the coconut fuckers back at the place which may not be named.

  • solanaceous ( solanaceous@beehaw.org ) 
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    2 years ago

    In this essay I will

  • gregorum ( gregorum@lemm.ee ) 
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    2 years ago

    gasp!

    [ clutches pearls ]

  • AVincentInSpace ( AVincentInSpace@pawb.social ) 
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    coconuts are plants and you’re an idiot

    • Chris Remington ( remington@beehaw.org ) 
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      you’re an idiot

      Name-calling isn’t nice. Remember to be(e) nice at Beehaw. Consider this a warning.

      • AVincentInSpace ( AVincentInSpace@pawb.social ) 
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        2 years ago

        JEEZ ok

      • gandalf_der_12te ( gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ) 
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        But “idiot” isn’t a name, i guess?

        /jk Sorry, I’ll show myself out.

  • cafuneandchill ( cafuneandchill@beehaw.org ) 
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    I agree

  • pooberbee (she/her) ( pooberbee@lemmy.ml ) 
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    deleted by creator

  • PersonalDevKit ( PersonalDevKit@aussie.zone ) 
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    2 years ago

    Vegans hate this one weird trick

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