When I was 20 I was diagnosed by a psychologist with having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. At first I was in denial about but over time I come to terms with my narcissism and the diagnosis started to make sense to me. A lot of my problems can be traced back to my unrealistic self image and lack of ability to relate with others.
There’s a lot of stigma towards NPD. I hope by making this thread I can help others understand that having NPD doesn’t inherently make you a bad person and NPD hurts the person with it as well.
How does your lack of ability to connect manifest?
Do you feel connected to characters in books or movies/do their hardships affect you?
Are you doing any kind of exercises to change patterns around thinking/relating?
How do you feel NPD hurts you?
Last one, don’t answer if you don’t want, but what caused you to seek out professional help?
“How does your lack of ability to connect manifest?”
Very superficial and short term relationships. It can be very isolating at times. I can connect to others but only if there really close to me.
“Do you feel connected to characters in books or movies/do their hardships affect you?”
They don’t. There just made up.
“Are you doing any kind of exercises to change patterns around thinking/relating?”
Sometimes I think about others like there me. I know that sounds odd but helps me understand them. I try not to make everything about my self. I listen to others.
“How do you feel NPD hurts you?”
Yes, that’s what I’m trying to get across in this thread. NPD is like a drug there’s highs and lows. Sometimes when something good happens I just have this feeling that I deserve it. That I’m worthy but with that there’s come downs. Sometimes things don’t go to plan and makes me mad because how can I be wrong? It’s hard to accept there’s something wrong with you because you put yourself up on a pedestal and every mistake feels like your cracks are showing. You think that everyone else is as interested in you as you are.
“Last one, don’t answer if you don’t want, but what caused you to seek out professional help?”
I was having suicidal thoughts. I stopped seeing the psychologist cuz I lost interest.
Thank you for your responses.
Sometimes I think about others like there me. I know that sounds odd but helps me understand them. I try not to make everything about my self. I listen to others.
I don’t think that sounds odd at all. I kind of remember being a kid and characters on screen were just characters, but then I’d always start thinking about what I would do in their situations. Practicing seeing one’s self in others is a huge step for many people in developing empathy.
Good on you for seeking out help when you needed it. Changing thought patterns is hard. Good luck as you continue to grow and learn!
Thanks for being open about it! How does it manifest? What’s your experience interacting with other people?
No problem. I’m obsessed with how others look at me and I need constant validation and attention. I’m very driven by short term pleasure. I care more about the immediate validation and attention from others then long term relationships.
I found it hard to relate to others. Everyone else is like a secondary character or a NPC. I know this may sound bad but I found it hard to care about other people. I love my family and friends but it’s hard to give anyone else attention.
Thanks for making this AMA, I not too knowledgeable in this area so please forgive me if I am insensitive in asking this:
What kind of strategies do you employ to fulfil your need for attention, without acting rudely to others?
It’s no problem. There’s a lot of things I do/did for attention. When I was younger I used to take the wildest drugs I could get my hands on and brag to my classmates. I use social media a lot and I’ve got some friends that I use. Nightclubs and bars are good. There’s always a lot of attention to get from there.
Ever since I was a teen I’ve found my self being very promiscuous. It’s the best way to get attention from others.
What’s your relationship with social media like? Active selfie-poster?
I use it a lot. I love when people interact with my posts or just comment. I can’t get enough of it although that can be said for most people these days.
Was there anything your psychologist said that stuck with you, or framed things in a helpful way?
Not really. He was very straight to the point. I only thing that really suck with me is the diagnosis as now I have a piece of paper that makes me look bad if I go to court or if someone does a background check on me
How does it feel to admit fault or to apologize?
It’s like admitting defeat. I don’t remember the last time I said “sorry” to someone tho.
If you want to practice with me, you can apologize for using Reddit if you have before.
I apologize for using windows in the past :P
Why would I apologize for using Reddit? Or windows?
They’re proprietary and less user friendly.
Shouldn’t windows or Reddit be sorry for that?
They would be if enough of their userbase switches to foss alternatives.
Lol
As an exercise.
What?
You would apologize for using Reddit, as an exercise in attempting an apology. Just to see if you can even do that. Everyone knows Reddit is not your fault. That’s not the point.
I can do it it’s just hard to do.
Shut up, god I had second hand embarrassment from that
From what?
The guy comment about being “ashamed for using windows and reddit”
K
Does this look like group?
Did your parents over validate you and / or praise you, even when you were in the wrong?Thus promoting narcissm?
Definitely not. The opposite in fact. In my whole childhood my mom praised me like 3 times
Interesting. So attention seeking behaviour is possible to gain what you missed from your family?
I guess it’s all overcompensation. Everyone thought when I was a kid that I was slow, lazy, under achieving, ect…ect… So I just overcompensated in my head.
Did your Slow, Lazy, Underachieving get diagnosed as ADHD, or was it parental over expectations?
Yes I did. It wasn’t just my parents I got bullied a lot by other kids and my siblings and I didn’t do that well in school either.
Do you work on letting other people have the spotlight or do you always feel the need to be the centre of attention?
I suppose it’s not just letting others have attention but it’s not competing with others for attention. @Misspelledusernme@lemmy.world said something about people with NPD being attracted to the entertainment industry and I can see why. You get the attention you want and your already used to constantly competing for it.