• Rentlar ( Rentlar@lemmy.ca ) 
    45·
    2 years ago

    Those are yucky comments anywhere other than an lemmynsfw community or a community with a suggestive name. I can’t glean much context from this screenshot of the post but in general, I believe horniness should be kept to horny online places.

    We can and should do much better than that.

  • Th4tGuyII ( Th4tGuyII@fedia.io ) 
    37·
    2 years ago

    Related to the previous posts bit, but I remember first seeing the Man vs. Bear memes.

    I’ll admit it was hard not to take it personally at first, because even if you agreed with the core of the message, it feels like you’re being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason. That’s probably why the reaction was so toxic, because people just replied with their gut reaction, which was to take offence…

    But upon giving it a bit of thought, I realised that as a guy who’s lived in some dodgy areas, I think I too would oftentimes prefer to take my chances with a bear than alone with a stranger at night - not cause I think I’d beat the bear, but at least you know what the bear’s probably gonna do…

    And if I feel that way being a man, then considering (on average) women are weaker than men of the same build, I can see why women would feel that way too.

    • Dragon Rider (drag) ( dragonfucker@lemmy.nz ) English
      23·
      2 years ago

      Indian metal band Bloodywood has the best take on the “all men” issue:

      Not all men?
      Yes all men!
      Need all men for what we’re solving
      Can’t be what it’s been but we’re evolving

      The patriarchy privileges every man, which means every man needs to fight the system. If every man who hears the message and isn’t an abuser stands up and does something, we can end the patriarchy. It’s not “every man is guilty”, it’s “every man is responsible, and we can end it together.”

      And the rest of the song is about punching rapists.

    • Lumelore (She/her) ( Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
      14·
      2 years ago

      it feels like you are being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason.

      Before I realized I was trans I also got super upset at being lumped in with bad men (although with an additional different reason that I didn’t understand at the time), and that feeling is absolutely terrible, because you’re basically getting shit on just for existing.

      From my perspective as a woman it seems like there are a lot of shitty dudes out there. After I realizing I’m trans it became a lot easier to notice misogyny since it now affects me. I did notice before, but when something affects you specifically you notice it a lot more. I also didn’t fully understand how weak women are compared to men until I started taking estrogen. Just being near a man I don’t know well or at all is very scary because of how easily he could overpower me.

      If I am getting a random bear vs a random man I would definitely take the bear just because I feel like the risk of getting a bad man is too high. If I could pick a specific man, I definitely would pick my father or a friend because I know they are good men and I feel safe around them.

      I think some outrage could have been avoided if the question was worded just a bit better, although I think part of why it got so popular is because of the outrage it caused.

  • Wutchilli ( Wutchilli@feddit.org ) 
    25·
    2 years ago

    Love getting the wakeup call that just because something is part of the fediverse it is not inherently good or perfekt and still needs work (in regards of the humans that join)

    • 1985MustangCobra ( 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca ) English
      0·
      2 years ago

      i seriously think i have to revisit who im attracted to because cis-women sometimes just don’t vibe with my lifestyle anymore. I’ve been online for too long and its changed my personality. I have had relationships with women who would find these comments funny and acceptable, and i would kinda go “eugh” at them and second guess my feelings.

    • StarlightDust ( StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
      2·
      2 years ago

      Reminds me of the days of circlebroke and srs. It was always nice realizing that I wasn’t alone in thinking the comments of a post on my frontpage were rancid.

      I’d offer to maintain something similar myself but I know myself well enough that it would slip my mind after a few weeks.

  • lseif ( lseif@sopuli.xyz ) 
    13·
    2 years ago

    thats what happens when you build a community with a large percentage of shut-in nerds and software devs (speaking as one of the latter)

    • spujb ( spujb@lemmy.cafe ) OPEnglish
      6·
      2 years ago

      yeah, i try to think of it as an opportunity. i usually try to focus my efforts on encouraging growth and recognizing the hurt thats caused.

    • MBM ( MBM@lemmings.world ) 
      5·
      2 years ago

      This is essentially why I’d like more “normies” here
      (or option 2: maybe I should just avoid online spaces with the (sexist/weird) kind of people I avoid IRL)

  • MBM ( MBM@lemmings.world ) 
    7·
    2 years ago

    I’m glad that every time I see a “girls are boring/well-adjusted, boys are quirky” meme format someone has already commented on that, but it always comes with multiple “it’s just a meme dude, don’t overthink it” responses.