Professor Maxine Welkers of the University of Toronto Economics Dept. explains, “Given Americans’ low literacy rates, costly health insurance, and how much animal shit their FDA allows in their food, Canada annexing the U.S. is really more of a humanitarian gesture.”
That line is gold.
i don’t want to be in a country with Ohio though
- sincerely, an American
Hey I’m from Ohio D:
I’m so sorry that you’re from Ohio
Hey now, Cincinnati is great. We got chili, we got King’s Island, we got a museum with dinosaurs and a lot of historical stuff too, we got Graeter’s Ice Cream, not exactly unique to Cincinnati but we have a baseball and football team that we feel very strongly about even if they don’t always meet our expectations, we got one of the best zoos and botanical gardens in the United States, while it’s not technically Ohio, we have the Newport Aquarium right across the river, we got all kinds of stuff!
Including corn. God we love corn.
oh, I’ve heard all about your Cincinnati “chili”
Positive things I’m sure. If you don’t enjoy Cincinnati chili, are you even living??
Right guys? Right??
(We also enjoy regular chili, my company has an annual chili cookoff. Not Cincinnati chili, just regular chili)
Is that the chili that’s kind of like a ground beef and bean soup?
Well not really. It is kind of ground beef soup, with a lot of spices added to give it it’s signature flavor. This chili, spaghetti, and cheese is a three-way. If you add beans in the chili (or onion), then it becomes a four-way (or I guess just… chili with beans in it if you put it on anything else?). If you put BOTH beans and onions in it, then it’s a five-way.
🤮
It’ll get renamed to ‘Oh, hi eh!’
Sorry
Easy fix: Dig an Ohio-sized hole, fill Lake Erie back up with water and call it the Gulf of Intelligence.
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I have some bad news
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They didn’t say they’d be keeping the people.
just a portion of magats voting would be enough to ruin canada within a decade, unless it’s made only a ‘territory’ with a just single riding (like yukon, nwt, and nunavut each have)
Imagine Canada owning the Grand Canyon and Yosemite National Park.
We would be undeniably the most beautiful country in the world.
Canada already is undeniably the most beautiful country in the world. We don’t need Yosemite lol
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Annex Oregon also!
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We don’t want that dumpster fire. No thank you.
Some of the states are cool. Let MAGA have their own states, so they can find out for themselves how their experiment sucks.
None of the states are cool. Outside of the cities and urban areas its a red majority country. Incredibly racist and misogynist.
MAGA can hop on Elon’s rocket and fuck right off to Mars.
Keep it, we’re good.
Nobody doing the math on the number of seats that “province” would have? All other provinces would lose their power. You think the pull Ontario and Quebec have is bad? Hooo boy.
We can do an administrative region, and pull a Puerto Rico on them.
If you split the north and south into two provinces, they’d vote at odds with eachother enough to be controlled.
Combine that with some good ol gerrymandering by creeping your provinces down into the US, you’d chip away at US votes enough I can’t imagine it’d really be a huge issue.
(Signed, a US American)
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Honestly a good deal of us would be happy to have leadership that isn’t actively trying to kill us.
America needs intervention to put it back in line
🌍🫡
Just do it already. I’ll fight to be Canadian 💪🍁
While I would love for the PNW to become Canadian, I feel the only way out is either to secede alongside our fellow blue states (notably CA), or to wait for McDonald’s to do its fucking job.
After that, we can rebuild and put not just safety rails BUT HARD LINES THAT REMIND OUR SHITTY ASS POLITICIANS WHO THEY WORK FOR.
We need complete reform because at the moment, I kinda wish the Brits would do what they are known for doing: colonizing other countries. Hell, I’m wishing we didn’t have an independence day coming up right now…
The timing might work out to really live up to the legacy of independence day.
MY BODY IS READY.
I’ll chug maple syrup. Learn to ride a moose. Whatever it takes. But please make this happen.
Don’t forget the poutine and beer.
Ha! They can keep their wasteland. We don’t need it.
I do wish USA was like Canada
