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Why do I feel like narrowing down the options would not be that bad?

Perhaps because you miss Microsoft or Apple? In a rather misdirected way?

Half the point is there are multiple ways to do things - and mind, Windows is like that too (you can get to some settings though the new Control Panel, the old Control Panel, the Regedit, the Powershell…). Just about the only thing in Windows you are forced only one vision of is the desktop itself, but as soon as you double-click an icon, all bets are off.

Also if what you want is getting behind “tried and tested, universally accepted technologies”… that’s what sysvinit, ALSA, X11 and automake / build-essentials; no need for systemd, Pulseaudio, Wayland and Snaps. Pulseaudio was basically a stillborn deformed baby whereas I’ve never seen ALSA fail since 2002 (to the point even today I have to “fix” Flatpak not having audio on Pipewire unless Pulseaudio sits behind it by just seating both of them behind ALSA). I don’t even have to begin on Wayland, it started as just vaporware; Systemd is largely an attempt to microsoft-ize Linux system management; and Snaps make me want to snap.

As for newbies… others have addressed the point but honestly, if someone gets scared and whiny at the “choose your starter” screen of the game, they’re not gonna last any in a Pokémon game nor would I want them around whining about things they couldn’t even be bothered to be here for.