I fucking wish I was 30

I didn’t get diagnosed until my 50’s. Now starting to get a grip on things.

It is just so tiring sometimes

I’m exactly like that, and I find it so strange. Usually, the brain adepts to a new situation, and that isn’t exactly new.

I plan everything as if I did not have ADD, and have done so even before I was diagnosed and had meds.

46*

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.

Getting my shit together < the sweet embrace of the status quo

That is exactly how I described it to my therapist when I started really getting my mental shit together a few years ago… past 40.

There has been another recent meme that says something along the lines of “do you know they let you raw dog ADHD your whole life as long as you get good grades?” and that one hits even harder. I’ve described my childhood academic performance to a few of my medical professionals as “I was the kid who was threatened with getting kicked out of the gifted program because I didn’t do my homework.” And honestly I don’t think I remembered the assignments existed. I think that was the year I started using big fat daily planners.

And along those lines, while some of us are venting about difficulty getting treated: In past decades I’ve hauled my ass onto psychologist offices for an ADHD diagnosis and treatment. Well, I’ve always done well on cognitive tests. And you’d better believe that my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria makes me hyper focus on those tests like a mother fucker. So being told you’re essentially too smart to have ADHD is frustrating as hell when you have failed university classes and gotten fired from grown-ass engineering jobs because of a crippling lack of executive function.

And I want to be clear none of this is supposed to be humble bragging. I’m just assuming that the audience on Lemmy is dense enough with similar computer nerds that others can probably relate when I describe it plainly. My brain is not one to envy — let’s just say it has lots of Simpson-esque “speed holes” thanks to other more significant medical shit, lol.

Edit to add: speaking of RSD, the first time I read about the strong link between ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, my entire god damned life made sense. Why yes, my life has also been defined by crippling social anxiety!

But the silver lining there is that I am able to make things a lot better for my son (8) who is exactly like me, and I can teach my wife about the brutally powerful emotions in situations that just don’t phase other people.

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Ironically, I started actually building stuff when I hit 30.

Even now that I’m medicated I still do this everyday. Things are better, but medication has its limits.

This time for real though

I brought it up to my doctor and got a referral to get a diagnosis, finally. That was 4 years ago. I need to ask again for another referral but keep forgetting/not being able to, while im there. If I can bring myself to do it, I might just ask my doctor to help me make the appointment while im there. :P

Ouch 😵‍💫

I have a diagnosis but meds didn’t work, possibly because i live a pretty much sheltered life and was never forced into work, i did some jobs but i never lasted more than a year. The last 3 years i spent smoking weed and postponing my waking up. Now i’m trying psychotherapy again and i’ve been prescribed efexor.

But i feel more hopeless and spent than ever. I can’t feel interest nor curiosity about anything. Social interactions are pain, and what’s worse is that even with my closest friends it is now like that. I just feel like I’m not interested or capable of conversing with them, cause I feel no interest in any thing anymore…