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I lost my job a few months ago and so I’ve had an inordinate amount of free time and it made me realize the same thing. Even with essentially infinite time I can’t get everything that needs to be done, done.
“Things that need to be done” is a gas-state that grows to fill the volume of time that you have.
Because it was taken from us. We used to divide labor, taking care of the home was considered a full time job for 1 adult.
Now here we are. Where it now takes 2 incomes, or frankly more, to raise a family and have a home. Now you have no time to do anything and purchase more expensive convince items to try to claw back time.
1 income should be enough if they want us to start having kids again
That’s the neat part, I don’t!
It’s impossible because we are social animals. We are evolved to live in tribes and extended families. We are trying to achieve things alone that our ancestors achieved in groups of up to 100 people. Rugged individualism is killing all of us.
The best way to manage life is to just rub one out to extreme German pornography every time you complete a task.
Is rubbing one out considered completing a task?
Depending on the method it may be considered exercise.
Depends if you get distracted by something on the internet that isn’t porn half way through.
We dont but if you spend your life energy at a company, they are very grateful and you may get a watch after 30 years of service.
“Here’s all the time you’ll never get back. Now shoo so we can pay someone younger less money to do your job.”
It’s even worse when you have one or more small children. When they’re awake they need most of your attention and when they’re asleep you can finally try to undo all the chaos they wrought.
Apart from what @hayvan@feddit.nl said, it’s also important to understand how a human brain works.
Massively oversimplifying, you have a “primate” brain, good at complex and novel things like logic, casuality, motivation etc; and a “reptile” brain, good at just keeping you alive by repeating the same thing over and over. Crucially, the primate brain takes up a lot of energy and other resources when it works, so your reptile brain will shut it down wherever possible. The trick is to use your primate brain to form habits by repetition, which the reptile brain will pick up, because that’s literally the only thing it’s good at.
To form a (good) habit, you need three things: first, motivation. You need to understand why doing some action is good for you. Second, a trigger - some concrete event that “breaks the flow” of your life, e.g waking up, coming home from work, or just a loud alarm you set on your phone; this is needed for your reptile brain to wake up your primate brain so that it could use the motivation you have to force your body to do something. Third (and this is the hard part) repetition. If you force yourself to do the action every time a trigger occurs, your reptile brain will eventually start catching on. Remember, it is wired to simply repeat what you have been doing before, because you’ve survived up until now so it must be a good thing to do. This can take different amounts of repititions depending on various facrors, somewhere between dozens and hundreds. After that, you will start doing the action almost automatically when the trigger happens.
E.g. I exercise when I take a break from work in the middle of the day. To do that, I forced myself to do exercise whenever I took a break for like a month. Now I get this natural urge to do push-ups when I stand up from my table :)
Yeah, the “reptile brain” vs “primate brain” is 1960’s science. And disproven. I wish people would stop saying it.
Not only that but difficulty building habits is literally a symptom of ADHD.
I stand corrected.
Call it what you want, the man has now a craving for push-ups
Do at least two at once
Have enough space
Use company time to do all of them
Nothing about the American lifestyle helps with any of this.
What you describe is accurate for non-wealthy, mid-class and above.
It’s working as designed.
It’s hard. And it’s an ultra-nightmare setting playing irl with ADHD on.
Now imaging having children on top
I think most people don’t. I live in a small house with my wife, no kids, and even that gets overwhelming somehow. Some days are just lost to work, cleaning, and maintenance.
We do aim to have at least a couple of days a week where we don’t have to do anything at all. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, it doesnt take long for burnout to set in.
I don’t. I don’t take showers. And stopped going to the gym cuz no time.
Most people don’t. Social media makes it seem like they do, but most people’s lives are at least somewhat messy.
I exercise at work during lunch. It’s really hard to get motivated every single time, but always worth it.
Cook with the kids as soon as we get home. Multitasking is actually good decompression for me.
Have to shower before bed or I can’t sleep.
Cleaning the house is a constant unfulfilling battle that I haven’t figures out yet.
Friends visit often, but also disc golf has been a great way to goof off in the woods regularly.
