I just tell them I lost my vagina in the war.
What makes it even worse ist that “I have a girlfriend” never seems to have the same effect
Said to a man or to a woman, because you’re right on both counts.
There be assholes on both sides that’s for sure
I think you misunderstood. I meant saying “I have a girlfriend” as a woman to a man hitting on you doesn’t have the same effect as “I have a boyfriend” in the same situation.
But I see now my comment was rather vague. Mb
Ah ok my bad
It’s a bit tough for me when a guy approaches out of the blue and I’m unavailable for whatever reason. Like, let’s say purposefully taking the adjacent seat and starts chatting. And you know where this is headed and you’re thinking “oh crap… How do I handle this so as to not waste his time but also not be rude and assuming.” So then I’ll often end up with a tedious but friendly conversation I don’t necessarily want, bc his intentions aren’t explicitly clear, so therefore I can’t explicitly decline. 😅
But yes, “I have a boyfriend” ends it fairly quick lol. It’s nice to just be able to say that when that’s the case.
Some guys are clever and ask something like “are you here with anyone?” To which you can say, yeah my boyfriend. I always appreciate that!! Because it saves everyone’s time and for me, the stress of figuring out how to best handle the conversation. 😆
I feel like choosing the seat next to you with the intent to talk to you already invades your space. I think you shouldn’t need a reason to say that you’d rather not have some rando plop down next to you.
Well I suppose that’s one way to look at it, but really what’s happening is that they respect the fact that you’re not single nor available, so they RESPECTFULLY back off.
If that was the case, “I have a girlfriend” should also work the same, but from my experience it never does.
Well men are just horny, so when a woman says she has a girlfriend, he gets double hornier. But if she says she has a boyfriend, that’s the ultimate shield and he backs off.
So just exactly the opposite of your first comment?
Well, my first comment was based on assuming everyone was heterosexual in the scenario. But if you throw lesbians into it, the dynamic changes.
Why? Your initial comment said that the man would respect that the woman wasn’t single or available. If that’s the case the gender of her partner shouldn’t matter. If it does, it only means that the statement of the original post was true and he never respected the woman in the first place but the unknown boyfriend instead.
Also fetishizing lesbians is pretty much the opposite of respectful. 🤷♀️
Yawn
honestly, this feels pretty sexist towards men ngl
“men are just horny”
oh okay, every man is just horny guys, theyre all pervs so you should not let them know youre gay
/s for anyone in the back of the class
Okay let’s just assume that a man who is hitting on a woman is horny. Call me crazy.
This is sarcasm, right?
I’m a man and I just don’t understand this. I want someone who wants me back. I leave lesbians alone when it comes to flirting/romance, I don’t understand other men’s fascination with them.
Is that why I have had to lie? Its not repectfully backing off. Its boundry pushing- to a point until youre telling them you have a man in your life even if you dont. It’s not that they respect you for being taken so they back off, its fear your man gonna come out swinging at them.
The ones who don’t fear this, will keep going at it even if you tell them you have a man.
A man who respects, takes the first… at most the second “no thank you” and leaves it.
You’re property to them and they are not thieves. Saying you have a boyfriend signals you already are “owned”. It’s a disgusting attitude.
That’s not the take away I would make. If a woman tells me “I have a boyfriend” when I ask “where is the milk aisle”, I would just conclude that this conversation is going nowhere and move on.
Did you read the sidebar?
No. I’m new to Lemmy. Its interesting that there is an already curated community, and its even more curated with sidebars.
??
The group you’re in has rules. I’m reminding you of the first one. You should quickly check if you’re following them.
For this one I wear a ring that makes it look like I’m married.
This is why I’d never attempt to flirt with a woman, or ask her out.
—A non-passing trans woman
Hey, a bit late, but I know you will pass someday. it’s good to have you here <3
if you’ve any questions, feel free to ask - i started passing about six months in!
Well, partially facetious here (although it really is a problem) but men are notoriously much higher in statistical likelihood to inflict violence upon you so if she indicates there’s one of them around it’s kind of a public service announcement. Sort of like saying “I’m sick and it’s very contagious, please keep your distance and do not interact with me for the sake of your own safety”.
Likewise it’s okay to grimace sympathetically and offer your condolences for this terrible burden afflicting her life and wish her to stay safe and get through it without lasting injury!
Is it respect or fear? Maybe it’s because a man feeling like his social status is being threatened by the possibility of ‘having his woman stolen from him’ is quite possibly stupid enough to initiate deadly violence over it, while a harassed woman is much less likely to initiate violence, and might even just acquiesce out of fear of his possible violence.
He could have a weapon or be emotionally unstable. That’s what I think of first, though the point is 100% valid. See the discussion on HN two days ago about the danger of dating a cop’s ex. Sucks to be anyone who isn’t a cis white male in america, which sucks (said the cis white male in USA). We’re terrible.
You seem nice and supportive, so I’m not going to bite your head off.
But…
Thanks so much for saying hi and for supporting us! We are women only so please don’t comment again 🥰
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