Hi all, as above i am looking for some personal blogs. I don’t really like social media FB/Insta/TikTok etc so I am not looking for direction to them. Maybe YT is its exceptional and non advertisy.

I am just looking for individuals journals, and or genuine reviews of products and approaches. The internet is drowning in affiliate and compilation pages when I just want to have a look around at how other tackled it, and some reasonable priced products.

Happy for your stories too.

        • irotsoma ( irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone ) 
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          4 months ago

          Rainbow Mafia? Please see rules 1 and 3. But seems out of place in any safe space for repressed peoples to use a hate-speech term to attack any repressed group IMHO.

          Please don’t use that term unless you truly believe there are only 2 genders and only validly defined by a doctor looking at a baby’s crotch at birth and only active heterosexuality is valid. All other terms including gay, lesbian, bi, etc., are “rainbow mafia” terms.

          If curious, there is a gray, or gray-ace usually, and it is an umbrella term sometimes used in asexual communities that describes several different orientations that are not 100% asexual, but don’t conform to sexual attraction “norms”, such as demisexual, those who find sexual attraction from emotional connection rather than physical attraction. And cis-women make up a not insignificant portion of that community, so there are likely some here. I have some of those traits since physical attraction isn’t as important to me, but more identify as lesbian, personally.

          All LGBTQ+ terms are each describing thousands of living people’s experiences. They aren’t frivolous.

          Sorry for the rant, but with so many governments attacking LGBTQ+ people and the US (where I live) at high risk of losing even legal gay marriage soon, it’s not a time to accept hate in any form.

            • irotsoma ( irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone ) 
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              4 months ago

              Saying LGBTQ+ terms are from the “rainbow mafia” is what is hate speech. That implies they are made up and the slippery slope fallacy that allowing any LGBTQ+ terms at all aren’t “normal” will lead to people eventually identifying as an attack helicopter. It’s never a joke to say a person’s identity is invalid because it’s made up by the “rainbow mafia”. It’s not a joke to say someone doesn’t exist. Are you gray/gray-ace, if not then you can’t “joke” about them not existing.

                • irotsoma ( irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone ) 
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                  4 months ago

                  You’re not listening to what I’m saying. You used a hate term. Using the term “rainbow mafia” to describe some imaginary group of people who make up terms to “feel special” is detracting from all LGBTQ+ terms.

                  Secondly, you can only claim “it was a joke” for something that denies someone’s existence or right to exist as a human if you are in that group. Then and only then can you make a joke of that nature. You stated you thought gray was a term invented by the rainbow Mafia. This implies you believe a “rainbow mafia” exists. Since the term “rainbow mafia” when speaking of LGBTQ+ labels is a talking point for hate speech against LGBTQ+ people in those groups by stating explicitly that they do not exist and are only the figment of the “rainbow mafia’s” imagination. This argent is also being used even as far as denying the existence of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or any of the terms. If you believe this and you specifically stated that gray sounded like a term LGBTQ+ people are accused of creating frivolously, you can not claim “joking”.

                  This is like a white person saying that black people are inhuman and violent and should be put down. It doesn’t matter if they then say “it was a joke”. It is hate speech regardless of whether you were serious. You can’t use that excuse just because you’re human and say oh when I can’t say humans are all violent animals. That’s not at all what was said first.

                  You’re creating straw men to defend your hate speech. Either apologize if you didn’t understand what you were saying or what “rainbow mafia” truly implies when talking about well established LGBTQ+ classifications. Everyone needs education, there’s no shame in admitting to a mistake. Otherwise I would ask that you kindly leave the community.

          • Hexarei ( Hexarei@beehaw.org ) 
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            4 months ago

            Whoa, friend. I’m sure you mean well here, but there are a lot of queer folks who joke about being part of the “alphabet mafia” and such as a way to mock being called that by the right. Essentially, joking about how silly it is that they would label us with something that sounds so goofy.

            It seemed like a lighthearted comment to me, I don’t know that it demanded this level of response. I hope you’re doing ok in spite of the political climate.

            • irotsoma ( irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone ) 
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              4 months ago

              That’s not the tone or implication of the comment. The comment was that gray “might be a new secret sect of the Rainbow Mafia” and mockingly that someone identifying as gray might have done so due to a “documentary about John Major [and] relaxed [they] just can’t go on living in color”.

              This tone and dismissiveness of LGBTQ+ identities while referring to a conspiracy theory used by anti-LGBTQ+ people specifically to do exactly the same thing, dismiss LGBTQ+ people is at best inconsiderate if not outright hate speech.

              And as I said, you can’t just say “it was a joke” while blaming me for pointing it out, using straw man and other logical fallacy arguments to make me feel bad for explaining the identity they were dismissing and then defending my partner and grey-ace people in general, and refusing to even apologize or admit that it was inconsiderate at best. If that’s what this community believes is allyship then no LGBTQ+ people belong here. My girlfriend, my few other of my other female identifying LGBTQ+ friends who were members, and I have already unsubscribed. I won’t be replying further to the thread as it’s simply too upsetting that a community for a repressed group would allow such behavior.

              • Hexarei ( Hexarei@beehaw.org ) 
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                4 months ago

                If the person you were responding to was speaking in good faith, then your response is so very overblown. Nobody was dismissive. It’s so very common to reclaim terms that are used to harm us by jokingly using them self referentially - You seem to think that’s an attack somehow. It’s not.

                If they were acting in bad faith, I would agree with you. The person themselves, however, has said they are queer and were reclaiming a term through joking. Again, a very very common thing.

                I hope you manage to sort through whatever hurt is causing you to assume everyone behaves in bad faith. Sincerely. I’m sorry to see you go, but I hope stepping back helps you breathe a bit and find somewhere you can be comfortable.

  • Cethin ( Cethin@lemmy.zip ) 
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    4 months ago

    First, I’m going to apologize for breaking the “no men” rule, and feel free to delete this. I want to provide what I know from my mom though, who went gray in her early 20s, and is white more than gray now.

    My mom gets tons of compliments for her gray hair, that I don’t think she’d get if she dyed it. It looks really beautiful. She uses a special purple shampoo (I think it might actually be called that) because it takes on a yellow tone without it. I’m not sure what it does special, but she swears by it. Other than that, she lets it be mostly natural and embraces it, and it looks great. I know many people, especially women, are scared of going gray, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing! You just have to find out how to make it work for you!

    Good luck!

    • Hexarei ( Hexarei@beehaw.org ) 
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      4 months ago

      >Sees rule saying women only

      >Fully recognizing that his commenting breaks the rule

      >Comments anyway

      Your comment is otherwise respectful and kind, so I’m sure you thought you were doing something nice here…

      And while I think there’s something to be said about the fact that you seem to have had some specific (if vague, still searchable probably) information to share, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be helpful… This is a key example of the difficulty of curating a relatively public women-only space: Men in general just don’t seem to care when they’re not wanted somewhere.

      “Feel free to delete this” they will definitely feel free because that’s what mods do when someone breaks the rules. They don’t need your permission for that.

    • Cherry ( Cherry@piefed.social ) OP
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      4 months ago

      i am ok with what the outcome. I was just looking for resources for the transition. Its like i grow two or three types of hair and they have different rules.