• The_Terrible_Humbaba ( The_Terrible_Humbaba@slrpnk.net ) Banned from community
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    I’m not sure how well this might work for a woman, but as a man there is definitely some stuff you can do when traveling and/or walking through dangerous neighbourhoods to avoid being bothered in public. Maybe it’s worth considering, so I’ll just leave it here. It’s not going to reduce it by 100%, but it makes it less likely. I’m not a big or scary looking man, but this advice has served me pretty well.

    I’ll start with the tourist example because it might be the most obvious. Tourists are usually more likely to be mugged or scammed, because they can make easy victims. One way you can spot them, is if they have a backpack, are walking with their phone in their hand, and seem to not know exactly where they are going. If someone is walking confidently, has no backpack, and their phone is put away, you probably wouldn’t know they are tourists.

    So now let’s translate that. If you are walking through a dangerous neighbourhood, or even just in the street, the last thing you want is to look like easy prey for people who like to bully others, beat people up, or muggers. Ways you can do that is, simply, to look like you belong there, and you’re confident in yourself and not afraid. Stand straight and don’t look at the floor. Walk with purpose. You know what you’re doing and have a reason to be there. But that doesn’t mean you should walk stiff, you should still look relaxed. And if you happen to look someone in the eyes, don’t look at the floor if you can help it. Holding eye contact can seem like a threat or invitation to some people, so don’t hold it either, but you should just look to the side (next to them, or behind/beyond them). If you look at the floor after locking eyes they might see it as fear, and decide you’re an easy target.

    And of course clothes can also play a part (for tourists, or walking in a bad neighborhood with fancy clothes), but it still helps. I know that from experience.

    Again, this isn’t a silver bullet, and I’m not sure how well it translates for women, but I think it’s worth considering.

    EDIT: Just want to add an edit to say: you don’t have to default to rudeness on the internet, which is what most unfortunately do online. It’s possible to politely tell someone that they did something wrong. It’s how people usually do it in the real world, it doesn’t have to be different on the internet. People can make mistakes with no ill intention. If you choose rudeness and to be disrespectful, don’t be surprised when people don’t respect you back.

    • Domi ( Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) 
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      2 months ago

      Sweetie I know you mean well but this is a place for women to talk together. We explicitly ask that men don’t comment here. It’s in the rules for this community.

      • The_Terrible_Humbaba ( The_Terrible_Humbaba@slrpnk.net ) Banned from community
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 months ago

        I don’t know. I don’t claim to speak for all women, and I don’t know this community. I was browsing “All” and I saw this. I read the other comment, and thought I could offer some advice from one human to another.

        If I think I might help a woman to suffer less, should I abstain from doing it because men are not welcome? If my advice is ignorant or unhelpful for women, they are free to ignore it. I added a clear disclaimer that my advice might not apply.