“I’m not dead!”
“I’m sure she will be soon, she’s very ill.”

I’m guessing they just had an extremely weak pulse? I worry that hospitals will start cudgeling patients to make sure! Although I think I’d prefer that to waking up in a buried coffin…

Perhaps we should bring back safety coffins?

Ah yes, my deepest fear…

It would be even stranger if she was found breathing in a coffin at someone else’s funeral.

Aren’t bodies usually embalmed before funerals? In this case it’s a good thing she wasn’t, but usually it helps avoid the whole being buried alive problem.