What should I say or not say to the therapist for the first time? Should I come out and say I think I have ADHD or should I avoid my own self-diagnosis and ask them to evaluate my habits on their own? Anything I should say or not say in a first chat? Anything that may be a red flag or green flag with a new therapist?
I didn’t get diagnosed until my 30s too. I had the same feeling too. I was scared they’d think I was just seeking meds. I talked with my dr for a good 30 mins, unheard of honestly… and explained to her the way I’ve felt all my life… she got me a survey and she said after I finished it that she already knew she was going to treat me before the survey based off of our conversation. For me anxiety and adhd are one in the same. The meds allow me to stay focused for at least 6-8 hours at my current dose. It’s incredible. Best of luck. Just be honest. You know yourself better than anyone else. I also explained my anxiety which I think helped the awkwardness of my conversation.
I’m hoping that I won’t need meds at all and there’s an approach where I can just use therapy to help me understand myself and how I can manage my bad habits.
What’s frustrating is that I took some tests when I was younger but they were administered by someone in my family who actively was hoping I wouldn’t have ADHD and therefore wouldn’t need meds - so that confused me a bit… unless they were right and I’m potentially an anxious mess instead. But anxiety might be it’s own meds 🤪. Still would like to avoid it.
ADHD is one of the conditions that responds best to meds (success in the 70-80% range). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2518387/
Be open to it if you are diagnosed. My life changed drastically for the better in ways that habits or awareness could not have helped - lack of fatigue, depression gone, able to actually start things (activation energy), etc. ADHD is a difference in how our brains function and it’s hard to out habit a brain that is determined not to work the way it “should”.
Should also note the meds are different now than when we were kids.
Vyvanse changed my life. Without it, my career would have stagnated and my marriage would likely be over. I was diagnosed in my early 40s. I didn’t realize how many of my issues stemmed from the frustration caused by being forgetful, procrastinating, aggressive, etc. The meds, along w/ years of therapy, help me manage my brain. I’m still the same person w/ many of the same issues but I am able to manage them much better. I’m not saying meds are for everyone. But be open-minded. Realize that ADHD is just like any other disease or disorder. You would take meds for diabetes or high blood pressure. It is the same thing.
Commenting on an old post, but hopefully still of use.
There are 2 main treatments for ADHD, drugs and CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Both help a bit. However, when both are combined, the effectiveness is magnified massively.
Basically, most of the issues with ADHD aren’t the ADHD itself, but the maladaptations we’ve created to deal with it (or other maladaptations!). CBT can tell us what to change, along with how. Unfortunately, we know many of them, but can’t apply them, the ADHD mind is quite resistant to this sort of change. This is where meds come in. On their own, they counter some of the baseline problems of ADHD. Unfortunately, they don’t effect the maladaptations we already have. What they do do however is make adjusting our minds a LOT easier. When this is combined with CBT, the results are impressive.
Many of us choose to stay on the drugs, long term. They help with problems we don’t want to have, without significant side effects. If you choose not to however, that is also fine. Some people use the drugs to make changes, then come off them. Others brute force the CBT route to help, without drugs at all. None of us will (or at least shouldn’t) judge others for choosing a different path.
I know the feeling… believe me. I tried to not use meds… I never want to take an prescriptions. Somehow I saw it as being weak or feeling reliant on something made me… less of a person? I don’t know how to describe it. I even started using marijuana as a more “natural” alternative for awhile. Ultimately, through introspection I felt that not seeking the meds route was doing myself a disservice for a since of control that wasn’t necessary. I totally empathize with you and get it. Best of luck to you.
I think any good therapist would be fine with you trying to self diagnose. It’s only natural to try to find a way to explain our experiences.
I spoke to my GP/PCP about thinking I have ADHD, and they gave me 2 options. Either prescribe me meds or refer me to a specialist.
I went to a specialist who then administered me like 4-5 different tests/discussions. And they were able to tell me their perspective of if I had it or not
The therapist might be able to help run you through some of those tests, and they might be able to sniff out if you’re bored or overstimulated instead. In either case, I would come to the first meeting open minded and have overarching goals and bullet points you would like to go over and take the discussion from there
Nothing is better for and ADHD brain than tests and more tests. 😬
For your first session, don’t expect much more than just getting to know each other a bit, talking a bit about your goals and where you’re at. See if you vibe with them. It’s one of those interpersonal things that you can’t really objectively measure. Relax, feel them out as a person. As to self diagnosis: i think with a new therapist there’s a bunch of fundamentals before you get to those more significant issues. Once you do, be honest and open. Tell them you suspect you may have something like it and why you think that way and they should take it from there. But honestly, don’t expect too much from a first chat.
So, relax, get the foundational bits out of the way, when the time comes be honest about how I feel. Simple enough. Thanks!