I’m normally not someone to post something like this, but in the spirit of contributing to the success of Lemmy, here goes:
This year for Valentine’s Day I included a large bag of my wife’s favorite chocolate as part of her gift. She happily put it in a bowl in our office so she could grab them while working.
Since then, I’ve been restocking the bowl whenever it starts getting low. I figured this would be a sweet gesture (no pun intended) that would put a small smile on her face once she noticed. Just a small thing to show how much I care about her.
Well, that’s not what happened. Yesterday she finally realized something fishy was going on with the bowl and confronted me on it. I admitted that, yes, I had been refilling it for her. She got upset, and said I’m an AH for “pranking” her like that. I tried to explain my reasoning, and I think it helped a bit, but she was still upset.
This is just devastating for me that my “kind” gesture could go so horribly wrong.
So, AITA here?
Did she say why she was upset? Is she worried she’s eating too many? Just that she thought it was a prank and not nice?
I don’t think you’re an AH, but it does sound like your wife might be insecure about how much chocolate she’s been eating. I’m picturing her telling herself “I’ll let myself eat this much but then I’m back on a diet!” Or something to that effect. Then come to learn you’ve been foiling her plan in the background. Which is also something someone who is insecure about stuff might not want to say: that they are on a diet or worried about eating too much.
All just a bunch of assuming.
Her exact response when I asked her why she was upset was, “Can’t you see how that’s a mean prank to play on someone?”. She didn’t say much outside of that.
Well it sounds like most of us really can’t! She’s probably just having a moment of irrationality as we all do from time to time. There’s probably something else going on but I doubt it’s worth it to try to figure it out.
NTA. I can’t see how someone could’ve possibly interpreted this as a prank
NTA she’s probably just insecure about having eaten the chocolate faster than she thought.
NTA I don’t understand how that could even be interpreted as a prank.
NTA. That’s just plain irrational. If someone brings me more and more of my favorite thing that’s considered being nice and thoughtful. How dare you be nice and thoughtful! Must be a prank. /s
NTA
Sounds like an odd thing to be upset about. I don’t know why she’d be angry. Sounds like she might’ve thought she was going nuts and got angry out of embarrassment.
NTA although I could understand her being confused by the infinitely refilling bowl of chocolate
These comments in this thread are way too tame.
So let me pull out the beloved AITA cutlery set: She’s of course fully aware that what you did was not a prank but a loving gesture. She’s gaslighting you, so she doesn’t have to admit that she ate more than she should have and intended to eat in the first place. You should know that gaslighting is common manipulation tactic of abusers like your wife. You are NTA obviously and you should get a divorce. (Where the hell is the red flag emoji here?)
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NTA She’s probably just upset with herself because she ate too much chocolate (in her opinion) and now feels badly about it. She feels the need to place blame somewhere, anywhere but on herself. I don’t think you did anything wrong. What you did was super sweet.
NTA you couldn’t have known she didn’t like it. She even failed to explain what’s wrong with it.
NTA as other mention the only reason I could think for a reaction like that is because of the surprise at how much chocolate was eaten. Still though, nice gesture OP! I would be as confused as you.
NTA but never underestimate a woman!