First of all, let’s try to avoid American-bashing, and stay respectful to everyone.
I’ll start: for me it’s the tipping culture. Especially nowadays, with the recent post on !mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world with the 40% tip, it just seems so weird to me to have to pay extra just so that menu prices can stay low.
I know it’s a clichee but guns. I regularly watch some youtubers from a lot of backgrounds. Science, engineering, music, you name it. And the casual way they talk about guns, even carry them, is deeply disturbing to me.
Yeah I guess it happens that you shoot a gun once or twice in your life. From military service to the plain old “Schützenverein” in Germany. But having them in everyday life is… just… dangerous.
They in-part have open carry in malls. And plazas. I don’t get why everyone carrying in a public space isn’t classified as a danger.
I understand it in rural regions. There is more wild nature in the US. In Europe most wolves have names. In Germany at least.
I still agree with you in general though. It seems weird that guns are a symbol of freedom for many there.
If you ask me it must be some sort of escapism. Owning and firing guns is an outlet, makes them think “I could totally overthrow this tyrannical government if I wanted to”.
But of course a government that’s had an armed population for hundreds of years knows how to deal with it and if anybody ever tried anything remotely resembling an insurrection they’d come down on them like a ton of bricks.
There is so much that screams “stress” to me when I think of living in the US that makes me uncomfortable. To just mention that your job can fire you at will and your health care might be attached to your job, or that a person who can not drive a car for health reasons, like me, is basically fucked. Or no sick days and a very low amount of vacation days that you might have to take when you are sick and on top taking them at all is looked down on, while my boss reminds me to tell him when I prefer to take my vacation days, because by law I have to take them.
I could make a very long list of things that come with American life that I find stressful. Just one more tiny thing: I do not have much money, so I have to be careful not to overspent. In Germany the prices on the shelf in the grocery store are the total I will have to pay. In the US the total can be whatever, you just have to be really good at doing math in your head, have enough money to not care or walk around with a calculator. So it is not just the big things that add onto each other. If I am sick I can walk to the nearest grocery store and drug store in less than 3 minutes from my flat, the doctor’s office is inbetween both and the visit is free and medication either free or costs 5 Euro each for what I usually need. My gall bladder surgery was all in all 100 Euro, including ambulance transport on a Sunday because it was an emergency and aftercare with my doctor. My days in the hospital and at home afterwards were fully paid by my employer.
I wonder what America would look like if everyone would live on an European stress level. We do not have no stress of course, but the base line for many Europeans is way lower. On top there is a base line of feeling safer (less shooting, except for Ukraine of course) and more social secure.
It surprises me that despite all that, Americans do rarely complain and are as happy as they are. I admire them for that, but also wish they could have less stress in their lifes.
America is a developing country with a Guccu bag.
There are some rich areas, but even there, the vast majority of people are poor and live under not-great conditions.
I think the “pursuit of happiness” mindset is still very strong over there. You’re only poor because of yourself, not because rich people fucked you over. So you can’t really complain, because it’s your fault.
As someone who spent roughly half my life in the US and the other half in EU, this is very accurate as to my experience in each place. In the US my life constantly felt balanced on a knife edge like everything could fall apart at any moment. When I moved to the EU, even though I didn’t speak the language or grow up there, I breathed a big sigh of relief. I felt like my life was finally manageable.
I think this causes a ton of mental illness in the US that we just don’t see in the EU. Most people I know in the US are on the constant verge of a breakdown and basically just disassociating themselves from reality (usually using drugs, alcohol, religion, or some combination thereof). I think this is why Americans so badly need to put on a happy face. If they didn’t, they’d all have a simultaneous mental breakdown.
The massive dependence on cars. I don’t understand why people put up with this nonsense. I just walk everywhere.
I read a travel guide to another European city I was visiting, and the guide was aimed at Americans. It’s a major really walkable city, with car access as good as nonexistent (wonderful). It surprised me, that some Americans walk so little, that the first advice in the guide was “start by trying to walk around your house”
Have you seen the size of America?
Europe is bigger than the US, but how often do you travel all across? The radius of movement might be a bit bigger in the US, due to bad design (urban sprawl). That’s a choice. You can plan cities better if you want to.
I don’t go from Sicily to Finland every week (but if i wanted to, I could easily do so by train). The size doesn’t matter in my daily life.
I’m always surprised at the huge taboo about nudity. A while ago I read some comments about a Swedish TV show and some people were complaining how unnecessary it was that you could see a guy’s naked butt for a moment. I hadn’t even noticed when watching.
It’s surprising because at the same time US media is often labelled as (over-)sexualised.
I know that opinions on nudity also vary a lot across Europe, some might even be very close to opinions on the US. But for me personally it comes as a surprise because there is often controversy about something I wouldn’t even have noticed.
I guess it comes with being founded by puritans.
- timicin ( @timicin@kbin.social ) 7•11 months ago
the puritans also founded canada and they don’t have the same problems w nudity that we do; so i think it’s much more than puritans.
the Puritans haven’t been a thing for like over 200 years
The expectation of everyone having a credit card as soon as they can get one and paying everything with credit to somehow “build” credit. Sounds such a great way to get people into financial trouble at a young age.
In Germany the system is shit too. There is a private monopol company that calculates and stores a score for you. The calculation method is secret, but we know several things can lower your score, such a having too much bank accounts/credit cards, moving too often, if you ever had debts and how fast you paid them and so on. When you ask a bank for a loan, they check this score and may decline if it’s too low. There are some people who have problems getting a loan because they have no records for their score.
On the flip side, without establishing some kind of credit record, nobody will ever give you a loan for a house or even a used car.
That’s the part I don’t get at all. How come is not having any credit history a bad indicator? If anything, it should tell that the person is financially stable to afford things without needing credit.
Where I live (and I think in other European countries too, with exceptions) it works other way around. Having a clean credit record is a good thing and only if you neglect your payments you get negative marks on your record. Having any negative marks generally prevents you from taking any new loans or financing (a good thing!) but negative marks will be cleared after debts have been paid off and some time has passed.
I don’t disagree with you, I’m just saying how it is here and the reasons why Americans use credit cards so much.
I have major problems and concerns with how credit scores work here, as well as the mysterious and flawed algorithms that determine them. The way credit scores are calculated sometimes incentivizes bad credit behavior, like maximizing your total available credit and keeping lines of credit open even when you don’t want/need them anymore. It’s deeply flawed. You’re right about that.
However as just a matter of fact, in America at least, if you show up to your bank asking for a $500,000 USD home lone (which sadly is the average house cost where I live on the west coast), they will perceive a total lack of credit history as a big question-mark, and a sign of uncertainty and risk. I’ve known people who struggled to even open a credit account in their late 20s simply because they didn’t already have an existing credit history to point to, which goes without saying is a total catch 22.
In other words, it’s definitely a flawed system, but one that many of us have basically no choice to participate in. I have a good credit score because I have almost always paid for just about everything on my credit account, and then pay off the entire balance each month (sometimes twice per month). But like you said, a lot of people get into real problems with credit card debt because they either never learned how to responsibly use one, or they simply struggle to live within their means based on how little they make.
clean history wont prevent you from getting a loan in the usa, it just prevents you from getting a big loan at a low interest rate. Smaller amounts won’t be much of a problem if its a clean. Also, bad marks are removed in time just like anywhere else.
I think the reason why clean reports may be a little bit more of an issue in the us than elsewhere is because of how easy it is to get an kind of loan or credit and how uncommon having a blank credit score can be as a result. Between student loans, credit cards, car loans (atleast cheaper loans for used cars) etc its pretty unlikely, by the time someone goes to try and take out a big loan, like say for a house, that they would have zero credit history or not have someone like a parent cosign who also has zero history (if someone cosigns it goes on both people’s credit history) And, businesses, looking for any excuse to avoid risk on an investment, would be less likely to give a big loan to someone with no history when there are so many people with good credit history to still make plenty of money.
All that said, credit cards seem quite a bit less common than they used to, especially since debit cards became a thing. Most people i know, myself included with credit cards are either for business expenses that are paid off immediately, or for the extra safety provided by the ability to charge back on purchases that debit cards don’t often provide.
Consider two potential creditors:
- Person A has no credit history at all.
- Person B has had a credit card with a $20k limit for ten years, generally has a balance of less than $2k, and has never missed a payment.
Can you see how B is a less risky client than A? A is essentially an unknown risk, but B has demonstrated the ability to manage their debt. A could still get, for instance, a car loan, but likely not a mortgage. And B will get a lower interest rate.
Dept is fascinating, our system seems to be build around it. And still, I was raised with ‘Don’t spend money you don’t have’ which makes person A more trustworthy to me compared to person B, who seems to live a financially risky life. But of course the bank earns more with person B, paying interest. I would reward this behavior as well, but it’s not the kindest system for gullible people.
How is A an unknown? They’ve demonstrated that they don’t make a habit of spending money they don’t have, which most people would consider conservative and responsible.
I agree that credit scores are stupid, but for the purpose of playing the devil’s advocate… Person A may have just crawled out from under a rock (or their parents’ money) and knows not how to manage a credit or just thinks it’s free money. They’d still have no credit history. For risk assessments, you always take the worst case in all fields where it applies, not just financial.
On the other hand, I think that if your circumstances change and you manage to pay off a loan early, you get penalized on your credit score, cause some bank had plans for your interest for the next 30 years or something.
TBH it’s not the absolute worst way to figure out if someone is responsable enough for “big credit”, basically the industry is saying “here’s more than enough rope to hang yourself with, choose wisely.”
Of course, there is no financial or credit education provided to help with making those wise choices…
- Janis ( @Janis@feddit.de ) English29•11 months ago
education.
while supercharged in one specific field during education, general knowledge of the world outside of said field is near zero.
and then education even ends. no real vocational training.
The fees are crazy too. Considering how many fail out of a course and have to deal with this large debt.
- Janis ( @Janis@feddit.de ) English3•11 months ago
boggles my mind. buuuut europe is on a great way to fail there too. I think the swedish fully privatized school system is an utter failure…but it will take time to come to full effect. sweden is doomed.
I’ve never understood why the drinking age is higher than the driver licence age.
And taking away voting rights from felons.
Both baffle me.
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English6•11 months ago
I’ve never understood why the drinking age is higher than the driver licence age.
Because driving is a necessity and drinking is not.
And taking away voting rights from felons.
That’s an instrument of oppression. Our right-wing party wins by stopping people from voting.
With some infrastructure near your housing and a working public transport, driving isn’t a necessity.
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English2•11 months ago
How? If you live in a suburb, even with working public transport, there could be dozens of stops between home and work.
why would the number of stops be a problem?
when i went to secondary school there were 13 bus stops (15 minutes) and when i went to university there were 12 train stops (30 minutes). And i wouldn’t classify either of those as a long commute
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English1•11 months ago
The stops, and the indirect route the bus must take to reach all of those stops, greatly increases travel time, and by “greatly increases” I mean by a factor of 2 to 3.
For example, Google Maps estimates that, to travel from the suburban apartment complex where I live to a business building in the next town, it would take 12 minutes by car or 42 minutes by bus. And yes, there are bus stops close to both the start and end points of this route; that time is actually spent riding a bus, not walking.
Outside of densely-packed cities, public transit is, by its nature, slow. Very, very slow. More public transit doesn’t change that. It might decrease how long you spend waiting for a bus to arrive, but the bus still has to make the same stops along the same indirect route, so it’s not going to be any faster once you’re aboard.
Cars are popular for a reason. It’s not just some anti-competitive car-industry conspiracy. Public transit very much exists where I live, and whenever I see a bus on the road, there’s almost never more than a few people aboard. Buses are quite clearly viewed as transportation of last resort.
rural areas here have buses with stop-on-demand. the bus continues on when no one is in the stop AND no one on board has pressed the stop button. very convenient.
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English1•11 months ago
Suburban buses where I live work that way too, but that’s only faster as long as no one needs to get on or off, and buses driving around empty is horrible for the environment.
With some infrastructure near your housing and a working public transport, driving isn’t a necessity.
And their own justice system for some weird reason.
I’m currently reading Twilight and judging by the tone it’s normal for 16-17 year olds to go to school by car (or even truck!) that they drive by themselves? I might be ignorant on the subject so correct me if I’m wrong but car culture in general. We just…took the bus or the lucky ones with a free parent got a lift. I’ve even walked to school for the fun of it, granted it was 40 minutes by foot.
I’m nearing my 30s. I don’t own a car and I don’t have a license. I do wish I had one sometimes but once I hop on the bus to the remote place I want to visit, I quickly lose interest once I see the (usually mountainous) road ahead. Driving just scares me.
Most Americans towns require you to have a car because they have little to no public transportation. Can’t get a job without a car in most places, for example.
Being an American, I see a winding mountain road and think about how much fun it would be. Then again, my parents bought me a $1500 shitbox when I turned 16 in exchange for me giving my sister a ride to all our after-school activities.
And I have this weird phobia about taking public transit where they’ll leave without me and I’ll be stranded with no way to get home. Planes, trains, busses, heck even monorails I have to be way, way early because I’m terrified of missing them. And if I have to make a connecting stop I’m even more anxious because they’ll also just leave without me.
you just need transit that’s frequent enough that you stop caring! metros in cities are great example, no one checks the schedule, it is basically always available within a few minutes.
That would fix ground transportation but it’s kinda hard to have a plane show up every few minutes. That’s the most anxiety-producing mode of transportation for me, and it has nothing to do with accidents and everything to do with nobody but me caring if I make it to where I want to go, and me being completely powerless.
I would much rather drive cross country than fly, and would prefer a week on a ship to eight hours on a plane.
I had to watch Twilight movies at some point, and they indeed all have trucks. Seems to reflect the reality with teenagers being able to drive at 16.
The average drive here to work is ~30minutes with zero public transportation in most places. I go through 4ish towns myself. Add in terrible weather ~4 months out of the year in rural areas, that’s why most people have SUVs.
Of course the dumbshit street-legal mobile tanks that the neonazis spend $1000/month in petrol on are RIDICULOUS, overkill, and definitely compensating for something, but most people not in cities need safe cold-weather vehicles.
That there are long stretches of road where you can’t get somewhat healthy food. I have been on a road trip across Utah, Nevada, Colorado and Arizona, and outside the big citys you only get junk food at petrol stations, but no fruits, no vegetables. I guess it makes sense because salad or fresh food spoils quick and is expensive to deliver to each and every petrol station, especially if they don’t have a reliable power supply in the middle of nowhere. Never thought about it before. In Germany you can get ice cream, chocolate, cake, salad or a full meal (at gas station prices, and lower quality) on the Autobahn.
When I read about people being frugal, there’s always something like “I now go to restaurants only once a week”, “I’m driving the same car for 5 years”, “you don’t really need 10 subscriptions for x”. Do people really not cook their own food and spend money that much? My only subscriptions are internet and rent, and my savings would be gone if I’d get a car 🤷♂️
“I discovered cooking at home” “Meal planning” “Dining in”
Bitch, that’s called Tuesday in most of the world.
Are these by posts by newspapers, blogs, or normal people? Because all the people writing for newspapers and financial blogs seem to live in a different world than most Americans. The average car in the US is 12 years old for example.
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English2•11 months ago
You also wouldn’t spend hours commuting to work every day. Cars are fast. I don’t know how it is in Europe, but in America, commute time is unpaid and cost of living is obscenely high, so cars are pretty much mandatory if you want to keep a roof over your head and get a full 8 hours of sleep.
Here, cars are not fast. Cities are congested. When I worked on the other side of my small town, getting there by bike or by car cost the same amount of time. In bigger cities there is public transport.
We generally also don’t live hours away from where we work. I got rejected for a jobs because they didn’t believe I’d commute for an hour by car while looking for a new place
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English1•11 months ago
But then you have to live in a tiny apartment in the city. Housing in cities is extremely expensive (in terms of cost per square foot).
Well, yes.
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English1•11 months ago
That’s not okay.
Dignified living is a suburban house with ample open floor space, a yard for the kids and pets to play in, and no HOA or building manager threatening you with homelessness and catastrophic debt unless you bow to his every whim.
That’s how I grew up, it was a hell of a lot nicer and less scary than the apartment I’m living in now, and housing costs have stolen that life from me. Now you’re telling me I should be happy with what my life has been reduced to? No, I am not happy about it. I am angry.
In Germany HOAs aren’t a thing and by law you have quite good tenant rights. for example once you have an open ended rental contract, your landlord can’t really throw you out on their whim.
- argv_minus_one ( @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org ) English1•11 months ago
Around here, they may not be able to arbitrarily throw me out, but they can decline to offer a new fixed-term lease when the current one expires, and rent automatically doubles if a fixed-term lease is not signed. Is that not a thing in Germany?
An expensive apartment in the city might still be cheaper than a rural place plus the cost of a car (which you don’t need in the city).
Many years ago, I was chatting with a friend from California and she told me her family votes Republican. As in, by default. No matter the policies or political needs of the country.
Aside from the US parties being very similar back then (pre-Trump), I’ve also learned since then that this may have to do with party affiliation programs.
In the US, you need to register to vote and the parties basically offer to do the registration for you, if you promise to vote for them. So, you end up being ‘affiliated’ with them, even without being actively a member.First, I need to confirm if it’s true or just a television trope.
Do North Americans really keep their shoes on while lounging on their beds, or is it something directors do for whatever technical reason?
If true, then I can’t get over it - and I come from a outside-shoes-indoors culture.
When I moved in with my husband he wore his dirty shoes everywhere inside the house. The dogs even had a designated tile floor to shit on. He’s southern. Needless to say we’re still together because he cut that redneck shit out lmao.
It’s common to keep shoes on indoors but not when on a bed.
I’m American and I don’t know a single adult who does this. Even kids take off their shoes before walking around the house, typically.
USA here. Grew up wearing shoes all over the house. Even in carpet, etc. one out of a dozen friends will have a house rule no shoes in the house or on the carpet. Those people are weirdos 😉 edit. I do wear shoes on my bed or couch. Wouldn’t place on my pillow or my head area.
I may be doing it wrong I admit. I haven’t had any foot oral transmission of disease that I know of. 🤦♂️
But would you lounge on your (or someone else’s bed) with your shoes still on? From the other answers, that seems to be rare or even TV-only.
Shoes on carpets and floors, I understand. That’s how we do it where I came from originally (I don’t do it any more because the climate is different where I live now).
Definitely not someone else’s. Climate difference makes sense.
I don’t know of a single person who does this. I personally only wear shoes in my house if I am leaving but forgot to get something and need to quickly grab it.
I never wear shoes in my house and I certainly wouldn’t wear them in bed.
Very good question, I’m not sure
lol…no, we don’t. Unless they’re bedroom slippers. Some bedroom slippers really could pass for shoes but they’re not nearly as protective.
I was really surprised that quite a few states have a minimum marrying age of 0. And apparently, it’s more common than you’d expect for girls as young as 14 to get married, often to far older men.
18-21 is very common here in the South. I haven’t heard of younger personally. But I’m not rural. Know of some towns very religious and inbred, I’m sure it’s happening there.
Children as young as 12 or 14 getting married is not at all common. The study the wikipedia article you posted claims less than 1500 hundred children over 18 years that were married at the age of 12-14 in a country of over 330million. It also points out that of those under 18, the vast majority was 17. Not to say that it isn’t a problem and should be fixed, but its not common what so ever and I would guess 90% of americans will never meet someone married under the age of 18 and except for some of the most rural middle of now where places its considered pretty horrific and unacceptable by most americans.
The study was talking about 300 000 children being married. That’s not a few.
And 1321 of them were 14 and younger.
That’s 300k and 1321 respectively too many.
And apparently, at least for some republicans, this is a policy worth fighting for: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/mike-moon-gop-missouri-lawmaker-defends-childs-right-to-marry-2023-4%3Famp
Though I agree its too many, (even one is too many) my problem is saying its common. Saying that 1,321 over an 18 year period in a country of over 330 million people is a common occurrence doesn’t sound common at all to me.
He said it was more common than you would expect. So it is a subjective matter. I happen to agree with him as I would expect the figure to be none in a developed country.
And apparently, it’s not too uncommon for girls as young as 12 or 14 to get married, often to far older men.
It is very, very uncommon.
What?!
Thanks for sharing, that’s crazy
Let’s keep the ball rolling then:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_labor_laws_in_the_United_States#Agricultural_child_labor
- timicin ( @timicin@kbin.social ) 1•11 months ago
i suspect your response is the most common american one and the fact that a foreigner had to teach you about your own country says a lot about our educational and social systems.
I’m born and raised in Europe 😅
“Fellow Europeans” in the original post shouls have given it away ;)
Though I do agree with the sentiment.
The fact that they dont have affordable healthcare… Its a human right…