So, to get this out of the way, I’m a cisgender white man from a well-off family in a fairly affluent town. I’m making this post because I want to hear perspectives from those who are different from and likely significantly more knowledgeable than me. (Literally as I was writing this post, I came to the epiphany that I should probably more properly educate myself on socialism.)
TL;DR: What is your opinion on giving money to houseless people you see IRL?
I like to consider myself socialist/progressive in thought—in favor of wealth redistribution via various methods, live and let live, freedom for everyone as long as you’re not materially harming anyone, etc.—but I grew up in a fairly conservative household (more socially than fiscally, but even then). Being in a rich area, I never really saw houseless people around unless I went to one of the nearby cities, and the general policy was keep walking and don’t look. My parents definitely raised me to be kind and generous, but more in a detached “give to charity” way.
Rather recently, I’ve really embraced this idea of being socialist, and I’ve become very free with giving my money in particular (though I’m aware I could do more, like join a DSA branch or somethin’). I love giving to non-profit organizations when I can, I support creators I like on Patreon. I’ve even started giving to people on Fedi who I’ve seen need money for whatever reason. Spread the wealth, right?
Now, things have changed where I live, and even in my rich lil burb, you can usually find at least one refugee or houseless person when you go out to a grocery store or something. I just saw a guy who was standing outside a grocery store asking for spare change, and it was a rare occasion that I actually had cash in my wallet. On my way out, I gave it to him. Simple.
But I feel weird about it. I have all these ideas in my head from White America saying that they’ll just buy alcohol or drugs with it or that they’re scamming me or anything else like that. Then on the other hand, I think that it’s just as likely (if not more) that they’re going to spend it on things they actually need to live and how it’s not my job to police how they use their money. And then on the third hand, I think that maybe it would be better to donate money to organizations that help out houseless people than just giving money to random people. Then on the fourth hand—you get the idea.
For those of you who actually read the whole post and didn’t stop at the TL;DR, I have a few questions:
- Why in God’s name did you actually read this whole thing?
- Are these feelings normal or am I just a self-centered prick?
- What are your opinions on giving money to houseless people you just randomly meet?
- As a bonus question for the socialists out there: Any recs on socialism learning resources for someone who likes reading, but doesn’t like reading books?
For those of you who made it all the way to the end, thank you for reading my neurotic ramblings.
EDIT: I didn’t really expect this to blow up… but thank you all so much for your perspectives on everything. It was exactly what I was hoping for and exactly what I didn’t think I was going to get. I tried to read everything and I feel simultaneously less conflicted, but definitely more… not confused, but maybe full of ideas?
- Thorned_Rose ( @Thorned_Rose@kbin.social ) 51•1 year ago
.1. I like reading and I find different perspectives interesting and I like to stretch my thinking into someone else’s shoes - it helps be more empathetic and less rigid/extreme.
.2. These feelings are very normal when you consider societal conditioning tells us poor people are poor because they’re lazy or something and giving them money is a BAD IDEA BECAUSE THEY’LL WASTE IT ON DRUGS!!!1!1!.
.3. I’m poor. Like poor poor. Below the poverty line poor. I’m disabled and can’t work. My spouse is my carer. We make do and we’re OKish. Certainly better off than some, that’s for sure. Anyways, money has a lot more value to us because even small amounts can make a big difference. But I will still give money when I can, even if it’s a few bucks. But most of the time, I give an amount that’s still significant (in terms of what we can afford). I most often encounter folks who need help outside a supermarket so my go to is to always ask them first if there’s anything specific they need. Most of the time they ask for something to buy. It could be a staple or it could be a treat. I don’t care, I buy them what they ask for. None have ever asked me for anything ridiculous. If in the future someone does, I’ll be straight up that I can’t afford it and ask them if there’s anything cheaper I can get. I also always get out cash and give them that as well. Very occasionally I get some saying they don’t need anything, they’ve never asked for cash instead but I always say that I’ll bring them some back.
Sorry, I realise at this point I need to explain that in my country cash isn’t that common to carry around. Most people pay for everything by card. So I always have to get money out to give to folks.Why do I do this? I used to think, “Don’t give homeless cash, they’ll just waste it on booze or whatever.”. That changed to “Only give food because that will actually help rather than wasting it on shit they don’t need”. To, “I can’t always know what someone needs so maybe I should just give money and let them choose. And hey, they have a pretty shitty and hard existence so who am I to judge them for wanting to take the edge off that. I do that myself too sometimes.”. My stance changed over time as I talked to people directly about their circumstances, talked to people who provide aid, talked to people about socialism and philosophy, read more on harm reduction, etc.
Now I’m at the point where I practice radical unconditional compassion - if I am to truly respect everyone’s fundamental human rights, I cannot make judgements based on my own personal perceptions and beliefs. Because they are just that - mine. I cannot pick and choose who has rights, which rights, and who doesn’t. Human rights are for everyone. If I expect people to respect my rights unconditionally, I have to reciprocate that.
Now, unconditional compassion can be bloody hard to practice at times. How can I have compassion for murderers or r**ists?? How can I have compassion and uphold the rights for those who have taken other people’s rights away?? First, because I can have compassion and empathy for people without having to believe the same things as them or agree with their actions. I can respect fundamental rights without agreeing to the ways others are breeching them. Second, because I realise that we are ALL products of our upbringing, society, genetics, conditioning, experiences, good choices, bad choices… There is no such thing as an evil person. There’s just circumstances and society that either supports us to make good decisions or ones that allow us to fall through the cracks and make bad choices. We as a society and a species need to look at ourselves collectively and understand where we are going wrong that we have ‘allowed’ people to have so little personal responsibility, that we have let people fall so far that they are ok with taking away the rights and lives of others.And yes, absolutely there is personal responsibility. I would argue that a lot of society’s ills come from lack of personal responsibility (i.e. fobbing blame off on someone or something else and not owning and learning from mistakes). But I also know that lack of personal responsibility doesn’t exist in a vacuum - that came from somewhere.
Anyway, getting a bit off topic now lol. The TL;DR of it is that I want to uphold everyone’s basic and intrinsic rights without limitation and to do this I cannot pronounce judgements down on others. So yes, I give them cash even when some of them (likely a small minority from what I’ve observed) may ‘abuse’ my kindness. I’m ok with that. I would rather give to all and have some take advantage, than give to none. Treat others as you would have them treat you, ya know?
.4. Not reading, but I do enjoy Second Thought on YouTube and Nebula. I feel it gives a good summary of ideas and issues. :)
If you got this far, thanks for reading my dissertation 😅
- hazeebabee ( @hazeebabee@slrpnk.net ) 19•1 year ago
I really like the way you phrased the mental shift from judging “what a person needs” to respecting their right to make a choice about what they need.
I agree that most people dont abuse generosity, & beyond that it kind of doesnt matter if they do. Better a chump than a scrooge.
I appreciate the dissertation, and I read every word of it. 💕
- VoxAdActa ( @VoxAdActa@kbin.social ) 29•1 year ago
I was leaving the Wal-Mart parking lot about a year ago and there was a man with a cardboard sign at the traffic light. I was about to ignore him, and then I thought: “I just spent $50 on a toothbrush. I spend $5 on this guy.”
After that point, I started thinking. I’d always been told these guys would “drive away in a BMW at the end of the day” and/or “they’re gonna buy drugs”, and I never really thought about those claims.
The BMW thing turns out to be a Bigfoot story; everyone “knows a guy” or “has a cousin” that saw that happen once, but in a world where everyone’s got a phone in their pocket and a camera on their dash, I have yet to see such an event being documented. God knows the insufferable pricks who trot that line out would die happy if they could make that kind of evidence go viral.
And the drugs… I mean, maybe? I guess? But then again, I could give my kid money for his birthday and he might go out and buy drugs with it, too. I have no way to know that. I shouldn’t give anyone money ever, I guess? Fuck, as far as “giving out money” goes, I’m giving Wal-Mart money that they’re going to use to increase poverty, fuck the environment, and lobby Congress for bills that will inevitably have an actual body count. Giving money to a guy who’s looking to score a joint doesn’t even rate on that scale.
Not to mention that, as far as I know, there’s an equally likely possibility he’s going to take that $5 bill and use it eat something for the first time in two days. So yeah, that’s a gamble I’m willing to take.
And why are we more likely to give money to a guy shittily playing a guitar with a hat on the ground? Because we feel like he’s working for it? What a shitty way to think about people. Entertain me, poor person, and if you’re good enough, I might give you a pittance.
Or maybe it’s because you can just drop some change in the hat and don’t have interact. As an introvert, that does kinda sound like a selling point. But I’m cynical, so I’m pretty sure it’s more the previous thing.
If I’ve got more than an insultingly small amount of cash on me (that is, I’m not going to grab a couple of quarters out of my cupholder), and the circumstances line up so it doesn’t put me in any danger or at risk of any real consequences, yeah, I’m gonna give someone cash.
- off_brand_ ( @off_brand_@beehaw.org ) 23•1 year ago
So this was recently pointed out to me, and it really changed my view. You’ve seen how tv treats withdrawal, right? Try that on the street. Try that when you have to beg for the cash that feeds you, and without a lock on your door to keep your things safe.
In an ideal world, if you’re suffering from addiction on the streets you’d be able to get treatment. But harm reduction programs like that aren’t always available, and they are basically never popular or well funded.
Untreated withdrawal can be fatal without being homeless. But if you’re already in such a precarious situation, it seems so much more likely that you’ll die.
I live in the city, and when I start asking myself what they’re doing with the money I remind myself they’re already willing to endure panhandling. If they’re willing to endure harassment from cops and people who hate them for like $20, I’m sure whatever they need it for is valid.
- Dee ( @Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org ) 21•1 year ago
What is your opinion on giving money to houseless people you see IRL?
I live in the PDX area and so run into a lot of houseless people. For me, it varies. The houseless are not a monolith. There are many, many different kinds of houseless for how they got there and why they’re there now. Many just need a bit of help to get back on their feet, many others don’t want help. You just have to talk to them to get to know them. I’ve had many conversations with them on the train and there’s a lot of good people out there who were given a tough break. I don’t give to every one of them, but the ones I know it will help I try to when I’m able.
You just have to talk to them to get to know them. I’ve had many conversations with them on the train and there’s a lot of good people out there who were given a tough break.
I wish I were the kind of person who does that. I’m definitely a big introvert and don’t really like talking to people outside of controlled social situations. Honestly, I feel like maybe being that kind of person would make this whole situation easier, but… yeah.
Thank you very much for your perspective, though. It helps.
- Dee ( @Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org ) 11•1 year ago
For what it matters, I think the most important thing to take away from what I said is that the houseless are not a monolith. As soon as somebody says “all houseless do X” know that they’re talking out of their ass. All houseless people do not do any one thing, because they’re all individual people with their own wants and needs.
I think it’s great you’re questioning those feelings you’re having though and wanting to help more. That’s where I started. Even if the progress is slow, as long as you’re moving forward in that direction it’s a good thing. Best of luck to you 😊
- bluGill ( @bluGill@kbin.social ) 3•1 year ago
Some of them are great at telling a convincing story that is not the truth . Maybe you can tell who is honest and who is not, but I can’t
- Gil (he/they) ( @kalanggam@beehaw.org ) 14•1 year ago
Houseless people are suffering through some of the most dire consequences of living in our capitalist hellscape (which is itself built by wealthy people many of whose wealth is ill-gotten through lying, swindling, and other exploitation). They don’t have proper shelter, many deal with food insecurity, many are just desperate to have some kind of stable life or just have someone treat them like an equal, like a fellow human.
They shouldn’t have to jump through hoops, prove themselves to be the “good” type, perform some kind of perfect victimhood, or pose as saints for us - and, being real, many of us are only one emergency away from also becoming houseless - so that we can pass what fickle judgment we have and decide they’re worthy of aid and assistance. We don’t really have the capacity to judge them off a small, often one-time interaction, and even if we did, what kind of message is that? “I’ll give you five dollars, but only if you do a little song and dance and show me that you applied for a job”?
Frankly, people deserve housing and food, no matter their moral character; houseless people shouldn’t have to demonstrate their character to us in order to deserve even a small parcel of what we’re fortunate enough to have. It takes some arrogance and lack of compassion on our part to expect that of them, especially when many of us with housing aren’t exactly saints either. Given the messaging we get from society, I understand some of the misgivings people might have, but still. Most people in general shouldn’t have to do anything special to be worthy of our kindness.
- marco ( @marco@beehaw.org ) 20•1 year ago
I feel this way a bunch.
One thing I’d like to add is that there is this essay by Australian moral philosopher Peter Singer, called “Famine, Affluence, and Morality”, where he argues that we are all quite immoral for not giving all our extra spending money to starving people. Since its release in 1972 nobody was able to really to find any major flaws in his arguments. Knowing this won’t make you feel better, but at least it’s not just you ;)
My approach: I volunteer at a local food bank, whenever I can. I know that nobody who is hungry is turned away, even if they don’t live in the official service area, or where here a few days ago. I donate to this foodbank, when I have some money to give. Not because I don’t trust individuals to make the right decision with money, but because I know it will reach and help more people that way. Also, I never carry cash.
As a dear friend likes to say: The medicine for fear and anger is Community, Action, and Compassion. Good luck!
- Butterbee (She/Her) ( @Butterbee@beehaw.org ) 20•1 year ago
My opinion on it is, I don’t particularly care if they spend what I give on drugs. If I have money to spare and give it to someone who’s asking for it on the street, they are a human in need and this is the most direct action I can take to make their day better. If what they really need is a hit of whatever, that’s not my business. I do hope they are getting help from organizations as well. I do hope they are able to find a way out of their situation. But once the money is out of my hands and into theirs, it’s THEIRS to do with as they see fit.
- StringTheory ( @StringTheory@beehaw.org ) 20•1 year ago
My opinion is biased by having been homeless and hungry as a kid.
We did not beg, so we didn’t get money to spend. The help we got (food and clothing) was donated from charity groups.
From a child’s perspective, it was a dangerous and desperate time with no options. So as an adult I’m focused on how to reach the quiet suffering ones. I donate to community charities, who can get the most out of my money and give help to the people who don’t stand on street corners.
- StrayCatFrump ( @StrayCatFrump@beehaw.org ) English20•1 year ago
Don’t be paternalistic. Homeless people know how to spend money just like anyone else, and will spend it on the best thing for themselves because they are the only people who can validly make decisions regarding their own lives. If they need to self-medicate (“spend it on drugs”), who exactly are you to decide that is an invalid decision? And most likely they will spend it on things like food and clothing anyway.
Choose to help by giving someone some money or don’t. It’s a small individual action that may help someone else a bit. That’s all. If you care to make larger systemic change, you should really move on to organizing with homeless folks anyway; building networks of solidarity and helping to defend communities against the violence of the state and other bad actors. So maybe give someone a $20 but then sit down and have a conversation with them, and don’t think the one act of charity alleviates your social obligation to act with solidarity and help change society.
EDIT: PS - Your feelings might be “normal”, but that is only because they reflect the typical liberal propaganda perpetuated in society: that homeless people are somehow less human and less capable than everyone else and deserve their situation, rather than that they are simply victims of the capitalist economy that liberalism itself serves to uphold. These feelings shouldn’t be normal. So help work on them in yourself and in others. We all have things to learn and growth to do. Undo the conditioning this shit system has pushed at us since birth. Kill the cop in your own head. Then we can move on to the other ones.
- iAmTheTot ( @iAmTheTot@kbin.social ) 19•1 year ago
I was what you’d probably call a late bloomer and didn’t get my first steady job until I was 21 (and not because I was in school). With my first full paycheck, I stopped at a Wendy’s on my way home and enjoyed a meal that I bought with my own hard earned money. Sat down in the restaurant and just enjoyed it. I sat across from a window that I could see a man across the parking lot asking passersby for change. Sat there and ate my meal watching him the entire time thinking how fortunate I was. Finished my meal, bought a burger and fries and brought it over to him. The look on his face when I gave him this meal is burned into my head.
I give money to panhandlers somewhat frequently. I don’t care what they spend it on. I hope they use it for something they really need, but that’s none of my business. I spend money on a lot of wasteful things, if I’m being perfectly honest, and I have no moral high ground to judge what they want to spend their money on (because it is theirs the moment I give it to them).
I literally cannot imagine being homeless or a vagrant. I have been fortunate enough in my life to never even be close to it. I live in a place that has very cold winters. My heart breaks every time I see people out panhandling in that shit.
- BuxtonWater ( @BuxtonWater@beehaw.org ) 18•1 year ago
- I can read quick and you put it in proper paragraphs so it wasn’t a pain to read.
- Yes they’re normal, you’re just trying to judge who you feel is most in need of what you can give.
- If I have the money on me and can spare it then I’ll do it, but that very rarely happens as I don’t carry my wallet most of the time.
Personally my policy is to give them money even if they use it for drugs, as a former addict myself that money will keep them alive physically or mentally, and or both no matter what. And that is worth the short term damage of them potentially using it for drugs, it gives them another period of time (days, weeks, etc) to choose to change for the better. It’s a very painful and embarassing thing to ask another person for money for drugs (subtly or non-subtly), very painful.
But it’s better than resorting to theft or dying depending on what you’re addicted to. Withdrawal is absolute hell and I would if the situation arose give an addict in active withdrawal money to get out of it without much hesitation.
Personally my policy is to give them money even if they use it for drugs, as a former addict myself that money will keep them alive physically or mentally, and or both no matter what.
That’s definitely what I was thinking: even if they’re going to buy drugs, maybe they’ll be able to do it safer. I love the idea of harm reduction and am aware of the studies that say how it helps. And congrats on kicking your addiction!
I can read quick and you put it in proper paragraphs so it wasn’t a pain to read.
I tutor English for a living and constantly stress to my students the importance of breaking things into paragraphs. As someone with ADHD, I write the way I’d like to read, so thank you for that comment lol
- BuxtonWater ( @BuxtonWater@beehaw.org ) 6•1 year ago
Exactly, harm reduction is the main game, with prevention (just not having people get addicted to start) being the ideal worked toward these days in most if not all competent drug rehabitlitation programs. And thanks, heroin is a monster, you slide into it so easily and then suddenly you’re a year later screaming in agony across your whole body, depressed, anxious, cold and hot, and all of that disappears with a single line of that shit. So I am damn glad I don’t have that happening every month anymore.
And also potential ADHD haver here (diagnosis appointments are set for next month), proper structure of paragraphs and sentences makes everything read so much easier for me too.
- Roland ( @dinodrinkstea@beehaw.org ) 17•1 year ago
Mutual aid is one of the most direct, best ways to make the world a better place and practice praxis. It’s not an either/or situation: give money when you can, but you could also volunteer with an organization that’s horizontal and not one of those scammy, hierarchial ones with too much power. Also, if you give someone cash, it’s theirs now, and wanting people to prove they’re “worthy” beacuse they “really” need the money is antithetical to mutual aid. And also, i’m proud of you for wanting to do better than how you were raised✌🏻
- Gabadabs ( @Gabadabs@kbin.social ) 15•1 year ago
If they want to spend any money you them on drugs/alcohol… So what? Like, I can guarantee you that if I had to sleep on the street whatever gets me through my day or helps me sleep does that. Giving homeless people food is kind, but honestly it’s very common already and they have other needs. I give them money, because I’ve almost been there a few points in my life.
- Entropywins ( @Entropywins@kbin.social ) 10•1 year ago
Absolutely no one needs to be given money for drugs/alcohol. I was a homeless drug addict and the amount of mental illness and trauma that’s out there is beyond your imagination, if you haven’t lived it, I can’t blame you for your thinking. But please don’t enable people, there is so much trauma out there and helping to perpetuate it is no good deed. The things I’ve went through and witnessed is down right awful stuff and it’s happening right now in the homeless drug circles and I’m not talking theft, it gets much much worse. If you feel for the homeless your best bet is donating to outreach and homeless shelter or volunteering your time and being a kind ear to listen and maybe show them they are worthy of love and a better life.
- adderaline ( @ondoyant@beehaw.org ) 11•1 year ago
i don’t want to invalidate your experience, but harm reduction research suggests this is a flawed perspective. somebody should be getting drugs for people who need them. quitting some drugs is difficult, if you do it wrong you can die, and if people can get drugs without doing dangerous shit, they probably will. there are cogent arguments to suggest that giving people drugs when they ask for them, providing them with resources that make taking those drugs safer, and giving them a place to live might really make it easier for people to quit, because you are giving them stability they can’t provide for themselves. certainly providing rehab resources freely is part of it, but if you remove the need to pay for drugs, alot of the incentive to do bad stuff to get drugs disappears.
- Tastyzero ( @Tastyzero@beehaw.org ) 14•1 year ago
I work in mental health and addiction. People are good at finding ways to pay for their addictions. Any extra money often goes to food, housing or health.
I don’t give people panning money in my own city because I’m often working with these folks. I will in other cities. If you have money you should give it directly to people. It works better than any other service delivery. And it makes them feel good. And it makes you feel good.
- hazel 🤷🏻♀️🏳️🌈 ( @iamhazel@beehaw.org ) 14•1 year ago
I have a pretty similar background except I’m a trans woman and for the past decade I’ve lived and schooled and worked in a downtown area - about 80k population in the city.
My instinct used to be they will use it for drugs or are a grifter, many years ago. My current position is, if I have the money to spare then I should help with absolute disregard for my old thought patterns. If there is a chance this human won’t be able to eat today, and I have a chance to help, then I will try, though I almost never have cash. I will offer to buy them a meal if near a restaurant.
Today my roommate and I were coming home from urgent care and they keep a package of bottled water in the car, and we had picked up food, so we offered a burger and two bottles of water and the person was grateful.
I am autistic and fwiw my therapist’s take is that especially in big cities they are basically all grifters playing the tourists and to ignore them. I don’t know what I think about that, but he would know a lot more than me.
Edit to add: I could not care less anymore what they use the money for. If there was a comprehensive functional model for helping people get off the street who want off, I’d feel differently, but then this would be an entirely different convo.
Yeah, I live in close proximity to a few big cities, and while I’m of the opinion/hope that a majority of houseless people/beggars are scam artists just looking for their next hit, the evidence I’ve seen walking when I’m through those cities can look fairly damning sometimes.
Your perspective is one I was hoping to see: someone with a similar background to me but who has gotten past their biases. It definitely helps.
- hazel 🤷🏻♀️🏳️🌈 ( @iamhazel@beehaw.org ) 8•1 year ago
Let me ask you, how do you feel when someone asks and you say no / apologize / walk by?
I feel like a shit human. I still do it at times out of discomfort and internalized biases I still struggle with, but it never feels right or good.
A little over a year ago I transitioned to working in a gov-funded mental health and substance abuse integrated serbice provider (it’s a mouthful), we have four various buildings around the city. Of course we take all sorts of trainings on bias, trauma, social determinants of health, and homelessness is a big problem in our city so we talk about that a lot. That definitely played a part in deconstructing my past ideas.
I was homeschooled until college with my eight siblings because public schools bad and religious indoctrination good. As soon as I started experiencing the actual, real world, I had to deconstruct EVERYTHING, and a decade later I’m still reconstructing. This all played a HUGE part in my beliefs before and after. I grew up watching/listening to and respecting Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly and all them, and now my dad is into Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro et al.
Sorry, I’m just going on about nothing now. But consider how your beliefs/perceptions developed in the first place and it might help / provide clarity.
- NetHandle ( @NetHandle@kbin.social ) 13•1 year ago
Hobos are still people.
They have their own agency.
They can make their own choices.
We can’t just assume they’re all hopelessly addicted to crack.
We can’t assume we know why their homeless.
We can’t assume that we know how they will choose to spend their money.
When you give someone money it becomes their money and how they choose to spend it is their choice. Freedom.That said, you’re better off donating to the foodbank. They get deals on food and make a dollar go a lot further and you can get a receipt and claim it as a tax deduction. It’s the economical choice.