So, my downvoter is obviously targetting anything I wrote with obvious transgender references. Mods, I can’t report them, but its very obvious. I can’t even block them. It’s deliberate and designed to wear me down. People say, be resilient, but that doesn’t help. People say their allies, but it’s all talk and no real action. .

Also, Nath, Please take the time to read the report into trans hate. https://transjustice.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Fuelling-Hate-Anti-Trans-Abuse-Harassment-and-Vilification-WEB-SINGLES-1-1.pdf

It’s pointless writing no transphobia if you don’t know how to recognise it, where it comes from or what to actually do about it. Blocking and banning people does nothing, people just re-sign up and continue their beligerence in a new name. This is why I’m thinking of leaving and it means the transphobic loser wins. It’s highly likely to be one of the regular posters here too.

There was a show on channel 7 last night again spreading complete lies about trans and gender diverse people and used people’s photos without their consent. This is real and why I’m not in the mood much to report people here. I’ll be writing complaint letters today and helping those who are now suffering because of their parents and such watched this crap and are fielding questions on where to turn for support. I do all this as a volunteer. I have a normal job too. I’m about at my capacity of dealing with the microaggressions and I’d like you to use what powers you have to stop the fucker from downvoting trans content. It seems silly and small, but no one else has been targeted.

Also remember, I now am about to catch public transport to about the only safe job I can find at the moment looking obviously trans the morning after this bullshit aired. It’s not that I’ll think I’ll be targeted, but it’s fucking anxiety inducing. Just remember, I’m not making up straw man arguments to bitch. I could a victim, THIS MORNING.

Sorry kids, have a nice day and enjoy bacon’s breakfast.

The driving lesson went great, I even drove on one of the main roads. The instructor is very nice and really calm and understanding. Will definitely do another lesson with her.

I am having a sort of low grade but continuous panic attack. I have a big conference coming up and I don’t feel grown up enough to network (even though it’s my job) and I have so much to do. Everything feels like a mess and I can’t seem to get enough focus to make any inroads on anything. I am scared of failing. I think I like things better when they are a struggle and I have nothing to lose. For once things are going well and I am so scared of stuffing it up.

Stupid brain

Slow start to the day but I just wanna say good morning motherfuckers. I’m getting shit done and feeling confident about it!

So after a few weeks of mental anguish I have applied for four jobs today.

I’m just trying to celebrate the small wins, because big ones seem so far out of reach still.

I have no desire to leave the house due to excessive Weatherness so I’m instead doing weird house things like sorting the towel cupboard and washboarding stains off cleaning cloths in between bouts of work.

I also hope to solve the eternal conudrum of where to store the clotheshorse.

Biscoff Cheesecake 🔥

Won a grand last night and decided to grab a snack and head to bed. Woke up at 7am and decided to go downstairs to cross off one of my to-do list items: McDonald’s McGriddles… $7 each? Yikes that is STEEP! Still, crossed that off the list, won another $600 and have returned to bed.

Photo of a McGriddle in case you’re unfamiliar. It’s like a McMuffin but little maple syrup infused pikelets instead of muffins.

I’ve seen enough movies to know something is buried here…

Went to a town out in the Arizona desert called Oatman today, out on the famous Route 66. Thing about Oatman is that it’s home to wild donkeys who just hang about and receive pats and nibbles from people.

I have a few great photos but I’ll post this one… because it’s always good to start the work week with a little ass.

Can we ban the phrase ‘Thankyou for sharing’ from work emails?

rolls out of bed and into floor

whines

Rolls out door and down hallway

continues whining

Giving into the urge that is largerly being fed by the windy overcast weather to sit my arse on the couch and reschedule adult things for tomorrow.

Today was a rest day for me from exercises but not anything else. Work was flat out, which I don’t have any issues with handling. Everything is organised and scheduled and methodical at work. I can handle every single appliance and piece of equipment running all at once with everyone conversing and the radio over the top with no problems.

It was at home later on that I started to feel a bit overwhelmed and feeling like a kind of chaotic sensory overload was happening. The hasty cooking of dinner for hungry family waiting, quickly trying to tidy the house which is always in a worse state than when I left this morning and my efforts feel futile, noise from everyone’s screens, my MILs TV blaring through the wall from the next room, the drummer from the band a few doors down practising, the wind buffeting the house, the ceaseless requests for post dinner food, drinks, snacks and attention from every family member, Mr Peeler making lots of “in pain and everything is hard” noises… it sort of all got a bit much? I went to my room and did some deep breathing/meditation and managed to calm down and block a lot of it out. Haven’t had to do that for a while. Now I feel sort of muted and tired, a bit deflated or something. Just tired I guess.

Venus is looking awesome up there, so bright.