Meme transcription:
Panel 1 of 3: A cute dog looks asks, “pls fix problem??”
Panel 2 of 3: The dog has become upset and says, “No Info!!”
Panel 3 of 3: The dog looks very angry and says “only fix”
Spzi ( @Spzi@lemm.ee ) English80•10 months agoMe in tech support.
Customer calls: “Internet is not working!!”
Me: “Router lights status?”
Customer: “Can’t tell.”
Me: “Why?”
Customer: “Router still in box.”
Me: “…?”
Me (pretends it was just an error of communication): “Can you please describe the lights on your router?”
Customer: “I can’t. It’s still in the packaging. The box is on my table.”
Me: “…??? … You … need at least electricity to power this device.”
Customer spirals into rage and madness: “I ordered wireless internet!! I won’t plug any cables in! I did not want any wires!!!”
neeeeDanke ( @neeeeDanke@feddit.de ) 10•10 months agoI mean, nowadays you can get wireless internet – via LTE/5G. For technologically illiterate users, I’d put the blame on whoever sold them a WiFi router.
faebudo ( @faebudo@infosec.pub ) 25•10 months ago golden_zealot ( @golden_zealot@lemmy.ml ) English17•10 months agoUsed to do outsourced IT for a lot of different companies including some large law firms.
Literally had one asshole lawyer put in tickets every time which consisted of something like:
“There’s something wrong on my computer. I’ll be away from my desk from 6:22 to 6:27, have it fixed by the time I get back.”
Queue nothing getting fixed and this removed trying to leverage that as a reason why their law firm of 250 people didn’t need IT services.
Jimmycrackcrack ( @Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml ) 5•10 months agoIs there a list somewhere of what words end up being “removed” or is it just kind of a case by case thing on lemmy.ml? Always wonder what the person said.
SnowBunting ( @SnowBunting@lemmy.ml ) 3•10 months agoWould like to know too. Also a way to turn it off.
Chaotic Entropy ( @ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk ) 17•10 months agoHaving worked as a phone monkey and letter monkey previously, this is painfully accurate. The first skill you have to learn is effective questioning, as you only get a certain number of question attempts and the number is different per user.
luciferofastora ( @luciferofastora@lemmy.zip ) 14•10 months agoHad a 1st level rep call me once about a ticket I’d submitted (apparently they’re required to initiate contact at least once?), say “Right, I see your ticket notes here, does the issue persist? Alright, I’ll escalate it to the 2nd level, have a nice day!” and I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard any rep so cheerful.
Monkey With A Shell ( @ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com ) 12•10 months agoMy first tech job was with a place that did net security mostly marketed to fast food places. Some of the evening shift calls had me questioning reality since most of the people I talked to where fry cooks first, shift managers second, and by default of seniority the tech for a site as needed.
Countless ‘the computer won’t turn on’ calls which ended up being them pushing the power on the monitor.
The one that called up just to listen to our hold music until I answered, which was actually pretty good, sort of an industrial/techno thing.
CS: The system just crashed, can I turn it back on? Me: Sure go ahead and let me know if there are any errors. CS: Hold on I can’t see the button, the power is still out…
CS: Our internet is being really flakey. Me: What lights are on at the gateway? CS: It’s hard to tell, it’s underneeth the pop machine, by the way the pop won’t stop spraying, how do I fix that?
And the one who got so frustrated with trying to fix things they hucked the firewall/gateway into the deepfryer and asked for a RMA.
curiosityLynx ( @curiosityLynx@beehaw.org ) 2•10 months agoI heard a story and saw a photo of a literally frozen router (as in, partially submerged in ice) before. Didn’t expect a literally (deep)fried one too.
Poggervania ( @Poggervania@kbin.social ) 7•10 months agoThat’s when you install Google Ultron and call it a day
marx2k ( @marx2k@beehaw.org ) 1•10 months ago pizzaiolo ( @pizzaiolo@slrpnk.net ) 1•10 months agoLooking up this meme was worth it
OpenStars ( @OpenStars@kbin.social ) 6•10 months agoAlso, submit
dailyhourly progress reports providing a detailed accounting of the steps you are taking to work on this. But please, no more than half a sentence, bc I won’t be reading them anyway. lugal ( @lugal@sopuli.xyz ) 6•10 months agoWorks with some values but not with others.
So which values work and which don’t?
Queen HawlSera ( @HawlSera@lemm.ee ) English5•10 months agoTook me ages on info to figure out Mortal Kombat 1 crashes on startup because Denuvo
pascal ( @pascal@lemm.ee ) 2•10 months agoI remember playing mortal Kombat 1 on the super Nintendo, how the fucking fuck did they put denuvo on a 4 mb cartridge?!
Queen HawlSera ( @HawlSera@lemm.ee ) English1•10 months agoI mean it was easy when they took the blood out.
pascal ( @pascal@lemm.ee ) 2•10 months agoYou’re confused by the mega drive / genesis version. The super Nintendo version was censored and didn’t have any blood.
Queen HawlSera ( @HawlSera@lemm.ee ) English2•10 months agoNo no no no no, I understand I was just making a joke. You see the other posters said that it was amazing that they were able to fit to Denuvo into a Super Nintendo cartridge
Then I responded, that it was easy to fit it in once they removed all the blood, directly referencing the fact of the Super Nintendo version had sweat instead of blood
pascal ( @pascal@lemm.ee ) 2•10 months agoOh… oh! Now I get it! That’s actually a great joke! 🤣
sonymegadrive ( @sonymegadrive@feddit.uk ) 3•10 months agoAs someone who’s team has to go on 1st line support rota every few weeks; The ticket queue has a metric shit-ton of these reports that just never get “fixed”. Can relate.
Dandroid ( @dandroid@dandroid.app ) 3•10 months agoMe every fucking day with our testers.
Pxtl ( @Pxtl@lemmy.ca ) English2•10 months agoWhat, they sent you a screenshot, isn’t that good enough?
𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒍 ( @maniel@lemmy.ml ) 2•10 months agoYeah, I bought a phone from a brand popular in a… very populated country, so all I can’t say is: “sir please fix the problem immediately”
meseek #2982 ( @ultratiem@lemmy.ca ) 1•10 months agoAs an end user I relate to this lol
marx2k ( @marx2k@beehaw.org ) 1•10 months agoI’m devops for the multi-cloud footprint in our org.
Jira ticket comes in: websites aren’t resolving
Me: is this happening on instances in aws? Which websites? Are you on the VPN or off?
Them: no, my vm
Me: are the websites hosted in our aws space? Could you give me an example?
Them: no, they’re popular large websites
Me: have you contacted (help desk for network issues)? This is probably not an issue with cloud.
Them: (ghosted for the last week)