Meme transcription:
Panel 1 of 3: A cute dog looks asks, “pls fix problem??”
Panel 2 of 3: The dog has become upset and says, “No Info!!”
Panel 3 of 3: The dog looks very angry and says “only fix”
Me in tech support.
Customer calls: “Internet is not working!!”
Me: “Router lights status?”
Customer: “Can’t tell.”
Me: “Why?”
Customer: “Router still in box.”
Me: “…?”
Me (pretends it was just an error of communication): “Can you please describe the lights on your router?”
Customer: “I can’t. It’s still in the packaging. The box is on my table.”
Me: “…??? … You … need at least electricity to power this device.”
Customer spirals into rage and madness: “I ordered wireless internet!! I won’t plug any cables in! I did not want any wires!!!”
I mean, nowadays you can get wireless internet – via LTE/5G. For technologically illiterate users, I’d put the blame on whoever sold them a WiFi router.
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Similarly, I had a bug report that said “I went to lunch and when I came back it crashed”. For some reason though my manager wouldn’t pay me to go out to lunch to reproduce the issue.
Having worked as a phone monkey and letter monkey previously, this is painfully accurate. The first skill you have to learn is effective questioning, as you only get a certain number of question attempts and the number is different per user.
Used to do outsourced IT for a lot of different companies including some large law firms.
Literally had one asshole lawyer put in tickets every time which consisted of something like:
“There’s something wrong on my computer. I’ll be away from my desk from 6:22 to 6:27, have it fixed by the time I get back.”
Queue nothing getting fixed and this removed trying to leverage that as a reason why their law firm of 250 people didn’t need IT services.
Is there a list somewhere of what words end up being “removed” or is it just kind of a case by case thing on lemmy.ml? Always wonder what the person said.
Would like to know too. Also a way to turn it off.
Had a 1st level rep call me once about a ticket I’d submitted (apparently they’re required to initiate contact at least once?), say “Right, I see your ticket notes here, does the issue persist? Alright, I’ll escalate it to the 2nd level, have a nice day!” and I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard any rep so cheerful.
My first tech job was with a place that did net security mostly marketed to fast food places. Some of the evening shift calls had me questioning reality since most of the people I talked to where fry cooks first, shift managers second, and by default of seniority the tech for a site as needed.
Countless ‘the computer won’t turn on’ calls which ended up being them pushing the power on the monitor.
The one that called up just to listen to our hold music until I answered, which was actually pretty good, sort of an industrial/techno thing.
CS: The system just crashed, can I turn it back on? Me: Sure go ahead and let me know if there are any errors. CS: Hold on I can’t see the button, the power is still out…
CS: Our internet is being really flakey. Me: What lights are on at the gateway? CS: It’s hard to tell, it’s underneeth the pop machine, by the way the pop won’t stop spraying, how do I fix that?
And the one who got so frustrated with trying to fix things they hucked the firewall/gateway into the deepfryer and asked for a RMA.
I heard a story and saw a photo of a literally frozen router (as in, partially submerged in ice) before. Didn’t expect a literally (deep)fried one too.
That’s when you install Google Ultron and call it a day
Looking up this meme was worth it
Also, submit
dailyhourly progress reports providing a detailed accounting of the steps you are taking to work on this. But please, no more than half a sentence, bc I won’t be reading them anyway.Works with some values but not with others.
So which values work and which don’t?
Took me ages on info to figure out Mortal Kombat 1 crashes on startup because Denuvo
I remember playing mortal Kombat 1 on the super Nintendo, how the fucking fuck did they put denuvo on a 4 mb cartridge?!
I mean it was easy when they took the blood out.
You’re confused by the mega drive / genesis version. The super Nintendo version was censored and didn’t have any blood.
No no no no no, I understand I was just making a joke. You see the other posters said that it was amazing that they were able to fit to Denuvo into a Super Nintendo cartridge
Then I responded, that it was easy to fit it in once they removed all the blood, directly referencing the fact of the Super Nintendo version had sweat instead of blood
Oh… oh! Now I get it! That’s actually a great joke! 🤣
As someone who’s team has to go on 1st line support rota every few weeks; The ticket queue has a metric shit-ton of these reports that just never get “fixed”. Can relate.
Me every fucking day with our testers.
What, they sent you a screenshot, isn’t that good enough?
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I actually think this is one of the few times I’ve seen the template used 100% correctly. The original comic had the dog wanting to play fetch, then saying “No ball” when the person tries to get the ball they need to play fetch. The dog then demands fetch again, despite having denied the person what they need to do so.
Regardless of this meme’s accuracy, I do not understand how it misuses the comic template as a user asks for a bug fix, refuses to share the details needed to complete the bug fix, then demands the bug fix once again, just as the dog does with playing fetch and the ball. Could you please explain your thinking?
You are wrong, this template is being used correctly
I can’t help but feel that we’re all waiting for you to get there… but we’re rooting for you!
Yeah, I bought a phone from a brand popular in a… very populated country, so all I can’t say is: “sir please fix the problem immediately”
