FFS! We’ve been aware of ADHD in various names for ~100 years

  • demonquark ( demonquark@lemmy.ml ) English
    63·
    3 years ago

    I strongly believe that a friend of mine has undiagnosed ADHD. The degree to which everyone around him keeps saying, “he’s not atypical, he just to stop being a fuck up and commit to something” is frustrating. My man needs treatment, not tough love.

    • AnarchistArtificer ( AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net ) English
      20·
      3 years ago

      Man, I feel that. Something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now is how disabled people (whether it’s a condition that affects their brain, or body, or both) end up sort of “stress-testing” society.

      In this case, your comment makes me sad because I’ve seen similar instances to what you describe, but also, I am reminded of countless more people who seem unlikely to have ADHD, but also don’t do well with tough love. The harmful impact of tough love is more pronounced in people with ADHD though, and that’s what I mean about “stress-testing”.

      This opinion is also heavily informed by the fact that I’m also autistic and diagnosed in my teens. I spent too many years trying to fit myself in a box that would never fit me, and I see so many people who *technically" fit in the box, but seem profoundly uncomfortable. From this angle, autism feels like my ticket to liberation because I think if I could fit inside the box (of societal expectations etc.), then I’d have accepted making myself uncomfortable in a model that wasn’t built for my wellbeing.

      • Swedneck ( Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ) English
        6·
        3 years ago

        it’s the old adage that designing for disability benefits everyone, and good lord it just never stops being true.

        like, no one functions perfectly at all times, EVERYONE has points in their life where they just can’t perform to expected standard and if things are built with disabilities in mind then they can simply make use of that when needed.

        Sure you might have two functional legs right now, but who knows when you’ll lose one or both? and at some point you’ll become old and gangly and the idea of walking 3 stories with groceries will make you weep. So maybe let’s design things with disability in mind so it’s simply never a thing anyone has to worry about.

      • demonquark ( demonquark@lemmy.ml ) English
        2·
        3 years ago

        I feel ya. I think that for mild mental health issues, simply giving people an acceptable excuse for “not having to fit in the box,” probably does more than the actual treatment.

    • HorseWithNoName ( HorseWithNoName@lemm.ee ) English
      9·
      3 years ago

      My man needs treatment, not tough love.

      This is true for so many things. Tough love rarely works for anyone, for any reason. I can’t wait for the day when it’s no longer so deeply ingrained in American culture as the answer to every single problem. It can really fuck people up far worse than they were to begin with, especially kids. I don’t know what the fuck people are thinking when they decide that treating someone like crap will make them a better person.

    • Cagi ( Cagi@lemmy.ca ) English
      7·
      3 years ago

      I’ve got depression and anxiety. I went undiagnosed for way too long and believed I was just a fuckup, unable to live a full life in our society because of some personal failings. It took a long time to love myself. My friends who reinforced the fuckup narrative aren’t my friends anymore.

  • kofe ( kofe@lemmy.ml ) English
    11·
    3 years ago

    I asked my parents to get me evaluated as a kid and my mom said it wasn’t real. At 32, I got evaluated and was diagnosed. Told my dad today and he’s like “no shit? You got it from me” Well thanks for sticking up for me as a kid, dad lol