I’m in my late 20’s and this is my first year since 2018 that I have not done adult recreational sports (softball and flag football) in the spring and summer. The reason for not doing them this year is because my wife and I had our first child and I did not have time to play like I usually do between work and the new child. I thought I would miss playing sports, but I really don’t.

I loved sports as a kid, but playing adult sports the last few years really wore me down. I was always the captain and even the event organizer for one sport and I really liked it at first, but as the years went on I noticed it was tougher to really enjoy it. Getting people to come out each week was the biggest problem. Even people I knew personally would get super flaky and cancel hours before the game kicked off, often leaving us shorthanded. Then other teams were also a challenge. I lost my super competitive streak years ago so I really just want to have fun and get some exercise, but some people seem to be unable to accept anything short of a win and appear willing to do anything possible to improve their odds of a win including cheating or being abusive. This constant bickering of reminding opponents of the rules, only to then be accused of being rule police became very frustrating. Often I felt like my team would be very flexible to avoid conflict and it still didn’t guarantee a smooth experience at all and there would still be unsportsmanlike conduct from the others. Our team wasn’t always perfect either, but it was almost always the result of reacting to unfair treatment. We even had one team who mocked our female pitcher and made sexist comments. We complained to the league and the team was thrown out of the league immediately, but our pitcher was shaken heavily by the experience.

I have been heavily contemplating if I want to go back to adult rec sports, and I really struggle to justify it. I’ve been so much more at peace not playing and I find I enjoy more going to professional sports and just watching casually rather than playing myself. Adult sports just feel so different compared to playing when I was a kid where it was about having fun and making friends. Now it just feels like people are only interested in winning and dominating their opponent even if it’s a meaningless game. Why do people do this? Should I just quit forever or should I give it another chance?

  •  Erdrick   ( @Erdrick@beehaw.org ) 
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    310 months ago

    I am simply engaged in a never ending battle with the most feared and revered opponent I’ve ever come across: myself.
    Seriously though, I don’t have the time / interest / patience to do group sports.
    Running / cycling / hiking are great loner sports.

    Oh, and maybe you didn’t realize it at the time, but kids are just as if not more brutal and competitive.
    I occasionally help coach my son’s hockey team.

    •  Case   ( @Case@unilem.org ) 
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      210 months ago

      I was way more competitive as a kid. Physically too, if needed. Hockey and all.

      I was a goal tender and if I let one past, I considered it a loss personally.

      That drive left me with a record that hasn’t been beaten in the league, over half my “career” was shutouts, and the only time we lost was when I couldn’t play.

      I’ve thought about getting back into it, but between the cost of gear, the time, and the fact that my knee would give out before a period is over really deters me.

      Life protip: don’t be the pedestrian in a car on pedestrian accident.

      •  Erdrick   ( @Erdrick@beehaw.org ) 
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        110 months ago

        Yikes - that last bit hurt!
        I am extremely cognizant as I ride my bike but know that even then there could be a point where I’m forced to share the road and end up a victim.

        I’m just to the point where my drive is fully internal.
        Stay healthy and “all around” fit is good enough!