Not a parent but here’s my own personal advice as someone with ADHD and some autistic traits as well as someone who’s worked with Neurodivergent youth and has received training for such work as well.

I would like to not only echo the weariness of ABA but also of note to be very weary of any medical professional who seems to focus more so on “normalizing” their behavior, specifically in the sense of trying push back against potential behavior and traits that aren’t inherently harmful, and if they are harmful in some way they are trying to push back against it entirely instead of pushing for more healthy means. An example would be stimming, stimming is absolutely fine and healthy on its own, but if the kid is stimming in a potentially unhealthy way they shouldn’t be directed against stimming entirely rather they should be figuring out ways to make their stimming behavior safe and healthy.

Another thing that applies not just to medical professionals of any kind but anyone in general, be VERY mindful of those who infantilize your child. In the sense of who seem to deny your child’s own agency or autonomy from the language they use and the interactions they have with you and your child. A big example would be for instance talking as if your child is unable to comprehend what is being discussed with your child right next to you and clearly able to understand what is being said. Another example would be questioning their autonomy, and just generally treating them in a way that is inherently condescending as if they are toddler when they clearly aren’t. Another would be in interactions when you know your child is clearly capable of independence, they try to insert themselves in ways to “help” as if they are completely helpless and it’s an instance you clearly know it isn’t a support need they have. Individuals who do this aren’t always doing this as a means to be malicious, but those who do this are more often than not the ones to do so maliciously. It is a form of ableism, whether intentional or not and if they aren’t receptive of correcting that behavior its likely problems with arise with them.

Familiarize yourself with your rights as a parent in regard to school and the rights your child has within your jurisdiction. As well as make sure to check in occasionally with your child as to how they are being treated in school and if they actually being provided any accommodations they are required to give your child. The above pops up quite a lot in schools, with quite an alarming amount of education professionals believing that due to their false perception that your child has a lack of autonomy that they can do whatever they really want to without your child telling anyone.