I’ll start. Apt next door is having a cockroach infected. 4 days ago, I was playing sims on my laptop, wearing my eyeglasses. Right lens got blurry, took off, huge cockroach was crawling across inside of lens. While I was wearing them. Freak out ensued.
Probably not that bad compared to others, but I opened my drawer to get ready for work one day and the little fucker was staring at me. After a brief moment where we were both shocked staring at each other, he scurried into the back of the dresser, behind the drawer. I was running a little late for work and had a very important meeting with our hardware vendors, so I closed the drawer and left. I ended up wearing something that was in the dryer as it was the only thing not covered in cockroach germs.
I got home that evening and couldn’t find the little fucker anywhere. I washed all my clothes again, because it freaked me out having a cockroach touch all my clothes. I wiped down the inside of all of the drawer with a Clorox wipe. I just couldn’t find him.
Days later, my wife comes running out of the bathroom and says the little pervert tried to attack her while she was on the toilet. The cockroach was actually in the light fixture. I sprayed it with some bug spray, probably a little too liberally. But he was super dead after that.
Crisis solved!