I guess it feels magical to be someone’s first.
But as @otp said - experience brings knowledge of yourself and others and can make stuff more enjoyable and easier to do.
True, prior experience does bring prior knowledge of yourself, but for me, exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship, in all aspects. Like, what new memories did you make together, what unique things did you do together, etc.
Exploration of the self should be a constant thing, and while it’s certainly no bad thing to have some basics checked off, that kind of discovery should be happening in meaningful relationships whether it’s your first or your hundredth.
exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship
Nothing wrong with that.
We have new things to experience in other stuff of life too.
.
Exploration of the self should be a constant thing
You can do it in many different surroundings and variables. Another situation teaches X better than another. Some situation might not teach anything.
So, you can learn things about yourself in a relationship or after that never occurred to you before.
I don’t think I would want to date someone that was a virgin; they wouldn’t know what they actually liked or didn’t like (fantasies are significantly different from real life; the things you fantasize about may not work for you IRL), and I wouldn’t be interested in trying to guide them to a conclusion that may not align with my desires at all.
I had a partner that did all of that for me, and in the end, we weren’t aligned. She ultimately didn’t get what she wanted, because we couldn’t reach an agreement. Or, we couldn’t reach an agreement until it was too late.
All these stupid “ignore them to seem attractive because interested = unsexy”
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
Having actively broken up a past relationship, knowing barriers.
Hanging out with friends rather than you sometimes, which is really important “relationship time management”
I find it absurd that virginity or lack thereof has any bearing.
I guess it feels magical to be someone’s first.
But as @otp said - experience brings knowledge of yourself and others and can make stuff more enjoyable and easier to do.
True, prior experience does bring prior knowledge of yourself, but for me, exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship, in all aspects. Like, what new memories did you make together, what unique things did you do together, etc.
Exploration of the self should be a constant thing, and while it’s certainly no bad thing to have some basics checked off, that kind of discovery should be happening in meaningful relationships whether it’s your first or your hundredth.
Nothing wrong with that.
We have new things to experience in other stuff of life too.
.
You can do it in many different surroundings and variables. Another situation teaches X better than another. Some situation might not teach anything.
So, you can learn things about yourself in a relationship or after that never occurred to you before.
I don’t think I would want to date someone that was a virgin; they wouldn’t know what they actually liked or didn’t like (fantasies are significantly different from real life; the things you fantasize about may not work for you IRL), and I wouldn’t be interested in trying to guide them to a conclusion that may not align with my desires at all.
I had a partner that did all of that for me, and in the end, we weren’t aligned. She ultimately didn’t get what she wanted, because we couldn’t reach an agreement. Or, we couldn’t reach an agreement until it was too late.
Hmm. Good point.
Some of us are ready to try that stuff out too, but there are risks involved that you mentioned.