We really do live in a boring dystopia

  • House: “Bzzzzt, sorry, we cannot grant you access to your home since you have posted an offensive comment made to the bank that provided you the mortgage loan. We also have turned away a delivery package that reads: Bzzzzt…

    House: “Asthma Inhaler.”

    House: Beeps.

    House: “Please confirm $1,000,000 penalty payment to the mortgage company to regain access to your house. Have a good day.”

    You: “But my wallet and everything is in this house…”

    House: “911 have been dialed, you are trespassing this property. Please vacant the premise.”