It looks like taxes increase and any kind of post-life planning can be done with a few legal filings rather than getting married. Is there any real benefit? It kinda seems like it’s just a way to trap people in relationships, probably traditionally, the woman.

  • Not an expert, but there is a lot less ground to legally challenge the partnership if a couple is married. If a couple isn’t married and one of them suddenly dies without a will or some sort of similar situation, the deceased’s family can fight for everything from how their funeral is executed, custody of children, or even control of finances. Obviously it would involve some sort of legal intervention, but marriage would supercede any familial relationships in most cases. I’m not sure how common it is, but I’ve definitely heard stories about this in gay relationships where estranged family ends up getting legal guardianship of children because the parents weren’t officially married and one died.

    I’m married and, though I don’t think I can numerate all the ways, we are definitely more financially stable than we were when we were just dating. Even just the convenience of being able to do certain legal and medical stuff on my partner’s behalf makes a big difference. And that’s isn’t to say it’s for everyone, but it is worth investigating if you have specific concerns.

    • Are they gay relationships with kids from a previous relationship? Because surely if they adopted them then the living person is still a parent and someone’s family can’t just take them

      • From what I’ve read, biological parentage can get preference even if the child had been living in another household. You’d think what you said would be the case, but state legal opinions are not a thing I would be super trusting of if I were in that position given how our rights are in a precarious position, to say the least. IANAL, but everyone should write a will. That’s better than letting lawyers and judges guess at what you want.

        • biological parentage can get preference even if the child had been living in another household.

          I understand this but if both gay people adopted together they’re both equal parents.

          If you’re saying gay 2 adopted gay 1s blood child and gay 2 lost that kid that seems a little sus. I guess I could see it being a legal battle especially in the United States