Recently had a conversation with a good friend about dating, and it had me curious about how everyone on Beehaw approaches dating. Tell me a bit about how you date! Here’s a few prompts/thoughts I’m curious about:

  • How long does it take for you to know if you’re attracted to someone (sexually, romantically, emotionally, shared interests, etc)?
  • What do you like to do when you date and does it change depending on how many dates you’ve been on or how well you know the person?
  • Once you start dating someone, how long does it take you to understand whether you want to date the person long term or whether it’s not going to work out?
  • Do you only date people you meet in real life or do you use dating apps? How do you approach going from stranger to dating them?
  • What’s most important in deciding whether you want to date someone? Do they need to have an interest in activities you enjoy, shared values, emotional intelligence, a certain kind of humor, or something else?
  • Is there something you don’t understand about dating and want to share your frustration?
  •  Elise   ( @xilliah@beehaw.org ) 
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    fedilink
    English
    210 months ago
    • Attraction for me is more like waves. Like I meet someone new and there’s just tons of different waves between us and some resonate internally with me and build up an anticipation and excitement. Over time this fluctuates a lot and there are also plenty of times where I need distance. For those feelings to really settle I need a lot of evidence. I need to feel safe and seen and I need to see emotional effort, like say take me to some place that’s meaningful to them.

    • When it comes to dating, yes it changes a lot. Initially it’s just dinner but later I want to go on walks and visit nice places. Eventually I’d like to have a peek into their lives for example friends and family and their home, hobbies etc.

    • As long as there are no red flags and it keeps developing emotionally and anticipation keeps building I am always up for more dates.

    • I only meet and date afk. Something like tinder always has seemed like a joke to me and I don’t understand it. Ideally I see the person multiple times over several months with some flirting and then I know we can start dating. However if I meet someone at a random place and we spend some hours together it can go faster. Sometimes you just don’t have the luxury of time, and taking chances is a part of life.

    • That’s unique to every person. The person I’m dating right now impressed me when I met her because she was able to talk to everyone and really listen. And we had a great time dancing and talking and she seemed like someone with a lot of love in her heart. However if I’d have to pick a single trait it would be kindness and after that curiosity and playfulness.

    • It frustrates me when someone imposes expectations on the moment, rather than listening to their feelings.