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# Rules ##### 1.) No bigotry of any kind, and don’t be a jerk either • Bigotry includes but is not limited to: ableism, casteism, homophobia, lookism, queerphobia, racism, sexism, transphobia, and xenophobia. Bigotry towards non-binary people is transphobia. Truscum rhetoric is also bigotry. You getting punished for your hateful opinion, however, is not bigotry. ##### 2.) No Spam • This includes both advertising and breaking your or my Lemmy instance’s rules, such as vote manipulation or brigading. ##### 3.) Posts must have something to do with being trans, or about trans experiences • Try to stay away from negative political events too. You can joke about it, but bringing attention to something bad happening in the world might take someone out of their comfort zone— this is an escape from the constant news cycle for some. ##### 4.) No Selfies or Character Creations • Selfies are not memes! This is not a community for selfies. Picrews and other character creations such as Sims and Mii’s are considered bandwagoning, and perhaps can be a part of a different community. ##### 5.) SFW-only • This is an all ages community, so we prefer it if you take the NSFW stuff to one of the more adult oriented communities. Note: nudity is not allowed, we want everybody to be comfortable here. ##### 6.) Submissions must be a meme or they will be removed ##### 7.) Swearing is fine, but slurs are not • We want everybody to feel safe and comfortable here, so even if you want to reclaim a pejorative word that applies to you— we ask that you don’t, as this is a light-hearted community and others stumbling across your post might feel unsafe. ##### 8.) Embedded submissions should only link to trusted image sharing sites, no IP grabbers or link shorteners ##### 9.) Use but don’t misuse the report button • If something breaks these rules, or this Lemmy instance’s rules, please report it. ##### 10.) Please do not link to any terf, racist, or any other hate communities or forums • Bigots like those do not deserve any attention. Any post or comment linking to a hate community or forum will be removed ##### 11.) Don’t be a jerk nor a troll • Be nice, and don’t create social chaos. That’s it. Pretty simple, huh? # Some notes: ###### 1.) We highly encourage you to use alt text in your posts, so everybody can enjoy this community ###### 2.) It would be really nice if you flaired your posts accordingly in the title • For example, a meme about the non-binary experience could have a title like this: “[NB] Story of my life!” This will make searching for content much easier. ###### 3.) Don’t break the law • This includes the country you live in as well as the country your instance is hosted in # Sibling forums: ##### !egg_irl [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/egg_irl] • Trans memes specifically about being closeted, unaware or in denial ##### !196 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/196] • Ordinary memes, but the community is very trans-accepting— and it only has one rule: when you encounter the page you must post a meme from your camera roll
  •  davehtaylor   ( @davehtaylor@beehaw.org ) 
    6•3 months ago

    It’s not gatekeeping

    Yes, it is. You are saying that anyone without a medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria isn’t trans. You do not get to make that kind of statement.

    You are the one erasing others’ experiences

    You are the one arguing against trans people’s legitimacy

    No one here is saying being trans isn’t real. But *you are when you say that it’s only valid if you have dysphoria.

    You also have to think this through: if you believe that you can only really be trans if you have a medical diagnosis, then you have created vast swathes of gatekeepers for being trans: doctors, insurance companies, politicians, governments at every level. In our bigoted, cisheteronormative society, if we say you can only be trans with a diagnosis, and that society doesn’t want trans people to exist, then they can just stop diagnosing people. Doctors can refuse, and decide instead that you’re depressed, bipolar, BPD, etc. instead, and that anyone who thinks they’re trans is just “mentally ill.” Governments can pass laws preventing state run insurances (Medicare, Medicaid, Tricare, etc.) from paying for anything related to dysphoria. They can also pass laws saying private insurances either don’t have to cover it, or that they can’t. I know for a fact this is already happening because I live in Florida. I’m watching this scenario happen right in front of me. You’re taking away the ability for a person to know their own mind and their own body, and their right and ability to understand their own identity, and handing that judgement over to people with a vested interest in denying it.

    And I can see why you’d think this would be a path to walk: if we say “a medical diagnosis means we’re objectively, scientifically trans, then the bigots can’t deny it”, but that’s not how things work. That’s just pandering to the oppressors. You will never appease them.

    No one is saying that you can just call anyone trans you want, like crossdressers, drag queens, or “attack helicopters” (I honestly can’t believe you even threw that one around). Only the bigots do that.

    No one is saying your experience isn’t valid. It’s exactly the opposite. If you feel dysphoria is central to your experience, that’s fine! You’re just as trans as the next trans person, just as valid. But that’s your experience. You don’t get to generalize your experience and then decide that’s the yardstick by which everyone else must be measured.