I love all the ritualized behaviour, secret meanings and unexpected taboos - standing up when someone of higher status stands, elaborate rules for serving and eating, tapping the table to thank the server, never refuse a toast from a superior, stuff like that.
Whether it’s about meals or anything else, I’d love to hear about any uncommon politeness standard or similar social behaviour that goes on in your location, culture or restaurant!
Etiquette is one of the things that really annoys-to-infuriates me. Especially if someone gets offended over me not following it. I just can’t be bothered thinking about arbitrary rules without any good merit behind them.
Now I am not talking common sense things where a behaviour might normally be considered offensive, but things like “ a man is supposed to verbally greet a woman first, while a handshake should be initiated by the woman if she wishes”.
Ive actually had this exact exchange with a superior (by standing, I wasnt actually working with/under them at the time):
Me: quietly walking past a superior about 2h after I have areived at work
Them, visibly and audibly annoyed: So I guess you dont greet people?
I just said good morning and said I don’t really keep track of who I have already met that day. But like come on, where is the disrespect if not projected from your own head?
I also hate the custom of wishing someone a good meal / good appetite. Like if it is 1x when everyone sits down, whatever, ill begrudgingly follow, but I cant be bothered to do it at work every 2 mins when someone new walks into the kitchen.
It’s essentially a shibboleth, a way to confirm that you’re in the “inner circle”. Tribalism is still one of the strongest force in social science it seems, even if we start with lots of identical people they’ll try to differentiate and discriminate between each other.