busy as usual, currently reading Alt-America (David Neiwert)

  •  Alice   ( @Alice@beehaw.org ) 
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    112 months ago

    It’s been good, objectively, but for some reason I’m not feeling it.

    My medication has been amazing for getting me through the workday. For some reason my brain instantaneously converts boredom to anger, plus I tend to fixate uncontrollably on really negative things. I don’t think I’ve freaked out or embarrassed myself at all since starting the medication, though.

    I’ve hit all my gym goals this week, which I haven’t done in months, so that should be a good sign for my mental health, too.

    But I don’t know, I still feel like a sad, lonely person. My friends all have such great relationships with each other even when I have to walk on eggshells around them. I can’t make friends offline because I have nothing really interesting to bring to the table.

    Plus I’m dreading cutting my hair because everyone is so nice to me now that they think I’m femme. Actually I just had a lot on my plate and stopped cutting my hair and dressing up for a while.