Welcome to the first (unofficial) Bad Writing Prompt day of the Beehaw Writing instance!
I’ve been reading a bit on the instance, and I agree with the consensus that we’re going to need something weekly to bring and keep a community together. So I’m doing my part!
Wait, what do you mean by bad writing prompts? Partially inspired by this post here.
“Don’t try to prove you’re a good writer, you’ll never write anything. Try to prove you’re a bad writer and you’ll write everything.”
So, here’s my general idea. For now, I’ll be posting 3 different things.
- Bad Character Ideas
- Bad Setting Ideas
- Bad Plot Ideas
For you to mix, match and use as you please! Again, I’m writing this off the cuff and with 20 minutes before work, so apologies for the short post, but without any more delay, here’s what I got for you all!
Bad Character Ideas
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The disgruntled younger sibling of the “Chosen One”
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A food critic who actually suffers from no sense of taste, getting by on charisma and faking it alone
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A magical anime girl who has a strange hobby and obsession with taxidermy (Thanks to my coworker for giving me this one haha)
Bad Setting Ideas
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Cowboys and digimon. How that works I have no clue. Just. Cowboys and digimon combined. If you do this you have my eternal gratitude.
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Told entirely through the lens of the endless blurb you skip before a recipe.
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An office building set within purgatory itself.
Bad Plot Ideas
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The main character has traveled back in time to kill Hitler. Little do they know is Hitler is now a skilled killer of time travelers.
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A love story where two people are fated to be with one other, lest the world end. They hate each other.
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A heist on the Vatican vault.
Alright, I’m running out of time, and need to skip off to work. Hope to see some posts, and remember to make it awful. I want some real schlock and cringe. Feel free to use all of the prompts, or none of them! Your reward will be nothing. Ciao ciao!
“gate’s open come on in.” Burzimeth said, motioning the newest recruit into the office with a wave of his claw and a smile like a razor. “We’re having shorts day today, so I’m afraid you’re overdressed. You will do better next time I’m sure.” Another wave. “This here is Graftak, our expert on ennui. He’s going to be your mentor for the next [indeterminate]. This here is Yunsothalblirg, our office secretary. She will designate your alloted usage of the waterwarmer and the coffeesponge. And looking good while doing it. Ain’t that right babe?”
“what do you mean, you’re not supposed to be here?” Everyone loves it here and you will too. Won’t he, Snubrtyuftagingadplort? Of course he will! We are a team here and you are the newest member of our team. So what do you say, teamy? Teamy tim? Tim time teamy o buddy oh pal? Tim timminy Tim Timmity Timtimsharoo? Ha! You’ll love it here, and I can tell already you’re going to fit right in!
“Mark my words buddy, you’ll get the hang of it in no time. We have Muzak Mondays, Taco Tuesdays, Waffle Wednesdays, Taco Thursdays, Taco Fridays and on Saturday and Sunday we have soup and songs… And ocassionally tacos.” Every other week we alternate clothing and food so we never get bored! And we’re having a luau soon. Ah here is your desk, see. The chair is fitted to you specifically and the clockhands keep you at the desk for the [indeterminate]”
“Tim, my buddy, pal, friendorino. You’re not getting out that way.The gate won’t open again 'til management says you’ve done your part. Look, just give it some time. I’m sure you’re going to be a valued member here, licketysplit. All you gotta do is put in the work, put in the effort, be a team player, keep your hands on the ball and glue your eyes to the prize. Let’s you and me go forward together, we’ll get you onboard. We’ll touch base and keep socializing until we solutionize the heck out of this. Comprende comrade? Capiche cabron?”
[low groans of anguish, clicking of claws, the smell of burnt toast and, finally, the squishing of coffee]
“Ahh, that hits the spot, babe, thanks. Told you Timmy was gonna work out. The clockhands never fail to granulate and interrogaze. Oh, be a dear and get the poles will you? It’s limbotime.”