busy

  •  apis   ( @apis@beehaw.org ) 
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    91 month ago

    Some level of melancholy interwoven with frustration.

    Which has persisted for a few months now due to a fun mix of physical health woes which initial tests have yet to uncover anything about + ADHD meds abruptly ceasing to work with all that that entails + likely moderate dissociation.

    Then had a very old friend, who is ostensibly the love of my life, spout stuff suggestive that they’ve bought into TER ideology. For now am giving the benefit of the doubt, encouraging them to read other perspectives & to seriously examine the likely consequences of their friends’ views on the safety & wellbeing of all, but I’ve a feeling they’ve either rejected sense already or are unwilling to examine their beliefs and that this therefore is the end of the line for us. Most of all, am frustrated that I lack the mental or emotional energy to walk someone through trans-inclusive feminist thought & practice.

    Meantime an ex that I have a great platonic relationship with was moderately injured in an accident recently, further setting back their chances of getting their home into a safe state, which in turn impacts their chances of a good recovery. Am not in a state to physically assist myself just now, and their sense of things interferes with their ability to accept let alone seek assistance from elsewhere. More positively, they do seem at last to have developed some sense that things have got wildly out of control & accordingly am seeing some signs that they’re becoming less resistant to the idea of accepting help.

    Rest of it is a bit heavy.

    What’s been ok? Reading anarcha-femininst stuff, watching a documentary series about an aircraft carrier of the Royal Navy, which is a blatant recruitment drive thing but am a sucker for many aspects of the show, and getting talking to a really lovely couple outside a local pub last Friday.

      •  apis   ( @apis@beehaw.org ) 
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        31 month ago

        Thank you. You’re so sweet. We’re both ok as it goes, just respectively entering the increased vulnerabilities of our circumstances in light of growing older.

        Their ability to somehow keep on trucking is endlessly fascinating & terrifying & inspiring to me, and yet they never once query my total flailing. Magic levels of rolling with stuff on their part!!

      •  apis   ( @apis@beehaw.org ) 
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        21 month ago

        Apologies - rewrote my comment as I went & in that rewriting managed to entirely remove useful context pointers.

        TER == Trans Exclusive Reactionary.