What’s crackalacking! Yeah, I’m actually sticking to this, since it seems like a lot of people had a lot of fun with it last week, and I’m still having fun forcing my horrible ideas onto the unsuspecting populace of beehaw. And then you lot, entirely forgetting the point of all this take the bad ideas and actually make them entertaining! How could you?! I’ve actually become emotionally attached to Emo-Chan and her battle to defeat Hitler. Of the drama obsessed story teller food critic. Alice and her Woman Emotions. And, of course, the late entry of Timmy’s Taco Tuesday Torment. (How could you miss the alliteration you MONSTER)

Jokes aside, I’m going to do things a bit differently this time. I’ve always found the traditional reddit writing prompt to be a bit too limiting, so I’ll be trying to include some writing prompts that don’t really follow the formula of “here’s a story idea.” To a greater extreme. Also, feel free to post your own prompts in the comments, I’ll try to edit the post to include them, and if I find the time/energy to, I’ll write a few myself. No promises though, I’m a lazy bastard.

Adding onto that, I want to stress that the point of this activity is just to write. Not write a complete or even good story. Just to write. If you don’t like the prompts, ignore em, or make up your own, or write about how bad the prompts are. I don’t care just write!

Now, I’ll stop fudging around and give you the prompts of the week.

Bad Character Ideas

  • Like, omigosh, did you see that Janet was going out with Hugnthlenbar? She totes just dumped Jason for him too! Ugh, what a, like, totes bitch, right?

  • A young shonen protagonist, ready to take on the world with his best friend! The parasitic alien fungus that occupies the right side of his body. He is still relentlessly positive.

  • Elves… As wise as they are old. And of course they all old, right? I mean, it’d be unthinkable for the wandering Elf spouting wisdom of the ancients for the low low price of $699.99 (plus gratuity) to not be old. R-Right?

Bad Setting Ideas

  • In honour of facebook market place deciding that my one and only desire in this world is apparently milk kefir grains (no I don’t know what they’re used for either), the story is set and explained through horrible social media posts.

  • Check it out! Fashion revolution, new styles and the hottest new designs to wear in the post apocalypse world!

  • Everyone knows the get stuck in the videogame plot. And that’s already bad. But what if the videogame also just sucked? Glitchy, unfinished, and nearly entirely empty.

Bad Plot Ideas

  • A deep intrigue story filled with deep plots where everyone has their own interests. It’s for a baking competition.

  • Since I’m apparently on an anime roll here right now. The plot is that the cast is trying to kill God. God is just a chill dude though.

  • An adventure story where the dohicky that everyone is after is lost media from a children’s TV show from the 70s. This is treated with a grand amount of severity.

Unique Idea!

  • Hey, you know that piece of media that you love? The one close to your heart? Write a bias an unfair review of it where you rip it to shreds and call it shit.

Alright, once more I’m running out of time before work. Thanks for reading, and double thanks for posting! I’m off and out, see you all next week!

  •  HeapOfDogs   ( @HeapOfDogs@beehaw.org ) 
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    1 year ago

    The perfect feeling of naked skin sliding across clean sheets washed over my body as I slipped into bed. The sheets were cool, almost cold, but a warmth could be felt coming from the other side of the bed. I began to shuffle closer to the source. I slide my arm under his pillow, I continued to silde closer. I reached my arm around his side and placed my cold hand on his chest. He wrapped his arms around my hand as if it was a teddy bear. I pulled him toward me and we connected like two puzzle pieces.

    “Your hands are cold” Kurt said to me.

    A shot of confusion ran through my head.

    “I hope I don’t have a cold” Kurt said.

    My senses snapped back. The crunching sound of gravel under foot mixed with the whine of the cicadas. The road stretched forward, seemingly, forever. A gray gravel road flanked by green trees and shrub against a blue sky. The sides of the road were filled with swaths of orange flowers.

    “Where are you Ethan?” Kurt said to me rubbing his nose and letting out another sneeze. He could never sneeze just once.

    “I’m here, I just got lost in my thoughts. Also you don’t have a cold, it’s probably allergies. You are probably allergic to these orange flowers.”

    “Tiger lilies, it means it’s July”. Kurt reached down to touch one and let out another sneeze

    “I can’t keep doing this Kurt. We haven’t seen another person in months. I smell bad. I’m dirty. I’m sore and I’m scared.”

    Kurt turned around. He had plucked a tiger Lily.

    “You see me every day” he said as he begun to use his fingers to comb my hair.

    He leaned in and smelled me "you smell like you, which is not bad to me.

    He used his open hand to brush my shirt “you may be a little dirty, but I like a little dirty” he said with a grin

    “And” he tucked the flower behind my ear “you are still the most beautiful and fashionable person I know”

    I smiled

    “I’m also the only person you know” I laughed

    “Technically true” Kurt laughed back.

    Kurt reached out and grabbed my hand.

    “As soon as we get to the next town I’m stealing you a new dress” Kurt said through an enormous grin as he looked into my eyes

    I looked back “you would like that wouldn’t you”

    He winked.