I am an Indian and I have become hyperaware of the people and the culture that surrounds me and I am beginning to see the flaws in it. One of the flaws that trouble me the MOST is how most Indians behave when they encounter any authority figure (mostly higher class or “higher” caste or the wealthy or the bureaucrat class).

When an average Indian walks into a Government office with a corrupt bureaucrat in it, he begins treating himself as an insect, he is way too afraid and he is way too submissive and slavish, this doesn’t end here however, if you meet someone of a higher social status than yourself you become slavish and submissive there too and this happens every time an authority figure is in the room and even with people who think very highly of themselves(at their homes, with their families etc.,) I dress well and look somewhat well so once I had a guy who is my father’s age call me sir and use language which is reserved for “the higher classes”. This is not ok! I wish he had a spine, I don’t want to be him when I grow up, but I know he didn’t choose to be that way, it’s the environment he was brought up in and not being aware of one’s own slavishness.

I am not blaming my people, but I do detest the culture which caused this. And don’t be fooled, I am not an observer, I (used to) do this too and I hate this

It’s like our bones melt and our brain switches off and we become in our own eyes the lowest form of life on earth. Probably justifiably because the education we have received is subpar (counter-productive) in most cases. And you can’t think highly of yourself if you are capable of doing anything productive, but it’s not just that, it happens with those people who are productive members of the society, but to a lesser extent.

I have heard many Southern Asian countries are like this in this aspect. So, I was wondering how you treat authority in your culture and if you thought it was healthy. I would be very much interested if your culture is similar to mine and what you think might have caused it.

And most importantly, how do you think I can get rid of this disgusting habit, is it even possible in India? (fellow Indians jump in here)

edit: Thanks to everyone who replies! :)

  • also as a swedish person i think by far the most notable aspect is how level the playing field is when it comes to respect, primarily in schools and the like but even in other spaces.

    its the norm that students and teachers are on first name basis and honorifics are almost never used anywhere. the plural 2nd person pronoun “ni” has largely fallen out of use in its other meaning as a singular 2nd person formal pronoun, being replaced with its informal counterpart “du” most of the time.

    students and employees alike can freely and commonly do criticize and talk back to teachers and employers/bosses if theres a genuinely valid reason to do so and the general dynamic between different social positions is so relaxed to the point of it being fascinating. i think meeting the literal king of the country would for many people not warrant that big a change in behaviour other than obviously just being particularly nice.

    as a result of this i think people have an easier time seeing each other as people rather than just as cogs of society, and being a person who struggles a lot with reading social cues its an enormous relief to so far in my professional life never had to worry a single time whether i should refer to someone as mr. or ms. or if i should be speaking in a particular register