I’ve had a ‘passion’ for programming for all my life, but recently I’ve been getting into a very, very emotional state over stuff like tooling and small things like that. The smallest things make me go off these days, and I feel so tired after every discussion. Feeling like I am in the wrong or that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I wish I could just make it all go away or somehow be happy or succeed some day. I never will tho
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ADHD + Aspergers :/
Sadly can’t really get out as I do OSS work and have to argue with people in OSS projects
And yeah I’m still figuring myself out, being 18 never really fixed anything and I feel awful about my past even though I’ve succeded a lot according to my peers…
I can’t really satisfy myself and just work work work work and work
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That pit inside you won’t be filled by accomplishments, at least it wasn’t for me. The only peace I found was by accepting I’ll always feel that pit, and that I don’t need to try and fill it. The pit is an illusion, you are already valid!