I had my first appointment today with a new provider - a nurse practitioner - at the third practice I’ve tried since getting diagnosed with ADHD in January. I’m kinda reeling from it, and I’m trying to make sense of my feelings, because idk if I’m just sensitive because I’m unmedicated for the third day in a row (didn’t know if I’d get a refill today, trying to conserve what I had) or if it’s a bad fit or if it’s just new provider weirdness or what.
Brief history - first provider was through an online practice, couldn’t get the Rx filled. Second provider was local, was a truly wonderful fit with fantastic rapport, but she was starting a new practice and ran into problems with state rules regarding prescribing and had to transfer my care back to the online practice. Third provider, again through the online practice, was very perfunctory and disinterested, gave a refill but needed an in-person referral to continue due to federal rules regarding prescribing, so I transferred to this third practice.
The nurse practitioner I saw today was mostly kind but asked a couple questions that hurt my feelings but probably shouldn’t have - “Are you always like this??” at one point 😂🤦😭 yes, yes I am - and seemed disinterested anytime I got very deep into any elaboration. I figured out once I got home that he had already viewed the big huge document I shared outlining my symptoms/experience and why I was seeking help, so that’s why he seemed impatient with my blathering, though I do wish he had come out and just said that.
Idk what I’m looking for. Experiences, commiseration, validation, anything vaguely resembling relating to any of this - I’m feeling like a real weirdo right now. Like, I understand I’m not neurotypical, that’s why I was there seeking help, but it’s been a while since I felt it so thoroughly after a conversation, especially when I guess I went in there hoping to come out feeling at least a little understood. Maybe he’s not a good fit, or maybe my super awesome experience with that second practitioner has skewed my expectations?
What is your relationship like with your care provider(s)? What kind do you see? How long have you been seeing them? Have you seen others? What were those relationships like?
Anything you feel like sharing after reading this will probably help me.
Omg! Idk how I could ever confide in someone who treated me the way your therapist treated you, that’s terrible. Talk about disinterested! And after that rollercoaster with the other guy, my goodness. I think you’re incredibly brave, too.
How did you find your current therapist? I know I definitely need therapy too, but money has been enough of a hurdle that I haven’t had to confront my fears about confiding in a stranger. How do you even decide who to call to set up an appointment? Do you interview them on the phone before making that first appointment?
I’m able to see them through my employer, I think I get 4 free sessions a year but If I want more I usually just call and ask and it’s okay. I call our “Employee assistance Program” and tell them why im seeking therapy, then they match me with a therapist that’s in the insurance. which is hit or miss, There is no interview before hand, we meet on the first session. It’s not ideal in my opinion, but without that I would not be able to afford it