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This is fitting. The top topic on Xitter right now is of course the global Crowdstrike/Windows clusterfuck. But the AI summary of the discussion is hilarious, b/c it summarizes a bunch of sarcastic posts and makes it sound like a positive (or at least can-do) story.
The machines, now inaccessible, are arguably more secure than before.
Also, and this shouldn’t be left unsaid, we’re talking about the Windows kernel here. A place with C++ code so cursed it is legendarily unhealthy to work in, as the cosmic horrors contained within slowly eat away at your sanity and warp the perception of time and space. Seeing that code for a few hours is enough to make a grown man cry. Seeing that code for a few weeks is enough to make you never cry again, as the terrible truth worms its way into your mind.
“DEI hire”, hah! The creature makes no distinction for race or gender as it fattens itself upon your failure! Even a glimpse at the edge of its abyss is enough to trigger a cycle of revelation - all modern software lies upon a rotting pile of ancient mistakes.
> all modern software lies upon a rotting pile of ancient mistakes.
To be clear: this is 100% true. As we slowly, painfully work our way toward being less awful at software engineering, we are better than we have ever been. As fucked as modern code is, old code was worse.
The lower in the stack you go, the more horrifying the revelations, just as a rule.
@V0ldek@sailor_sega_saturn “That gibbering under the desk? Oh, that’s just Azathoth. Poor thing got a look at the pump controller code last year. It’s never been quite the same since.”
Absolutely stellar writing, except for this one weird bit
Database people are systems people. Modern databases have their own memory management, thread scheduler, and a fucking compiler inside. A promising research direction is to just bundle the database with your own bloody kernel that you handwrote with a box of scraps to make the entire thing less cursed and not have to wrestle with Linux.
You know, just in case you were looking for people to include in your postapo gang, database experts will also murder whatever you want with bare hands.
@V0ldek there’s a difference between people who develop database engines, and people who use an existing database engine to write database applications in SQL or whatever.
It’s just your comedic hyperbolic turns of phrase reminded me of Mickens’.
If more than one system devs launch into a Lovecraftian stream of epithets about how incomprehensiblly horrific it is when you ask them about their work then there just may be some truth in it.
Also, and this shouldn’t be left unsaid, we’re talking about the Windows kernel here. A place with C++ code so cursed it is legendarily unhealthy to work in, as the cosmic horrors contained within slowly eat away at your sanity and warp the perception of time and space. Seeing that code for a few hours is enough to make a grown man cry. Seeing that code for a few weeks is enough to make you never cry again, as the terrible truth worms its way into your mind.
“DEI hire”, hah! The creature makes no distinction for race or gender as it fattens itself upon your failure! Even a glimpse at the edge of its abyss is enough to trigger a cycle of revelation - all modern software lies upon a rotting pile of ancient mistakes.
From a lovely response to the Crowdstrike error and various speculation on what caused it (https://ruby.social/deck/@V0ldek@awful.systems/112824202708490681), comes this gem:
> all modern software lies upon a rotting pile of ancient mistakes.
To be clear: this is 100% true. As we slowly, painfully work our way toward being less awful at software engineering, we are better than we have ever been. As fucked as modern code is, old code was worse.
The lower in the stack you go, the more horrifying the revelations, just as a rule.
@V0ldek @sailor_sega_saturn “That gibbering under the desk? Oh, that’s just Azathoth. Poor thing got a look at the pump controller code last year. It’s never been quite the same since.”
@V0ldek @sailor_sega_saturn have you read the writings of James Mickens, e.g. https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1311_05-08_mickens.pdf ?
Absolutely stellar writing, except for this one weird bit
Database people are systems people. Modern databases have their own memory management, thread scheduler, and a fucking compiler inside. A promising research direction is to just bundle the database with your own bloody kernel that you handwrote with a box of scraps to make the entire thing less cursed and not have to wrestle with Linux.
You know, just in case you were looking for people to include in your postapo gang, database experts will also murder whatever you want with bare hands.
@V0ldek there’s a difference between people who develop database engines, and people who use an existing database engine to write database applications in SQL or whatever.
It’s just your comedic hyperbolic turns of phrase reminded me of Mickens’.
If more than one system devs launch into a Lovecraftian stream of epithets about how incomprehensiblly horrific it is when you ask them about their work then there just may be some truth in it.
@V0ldek @sailor_sega_saturn Thanks! You are talking straight from my heart!