So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?

  • Is the concern how you’re perceived socially or how you perceive yourself?

    What would it take for you to be “trans enough”? Shaving? Clothes? Hormones? Surgery? Gene therapy?

    Would you be this gatekeep-y to a random stranger? If not, why gatekeep yourself?

    Is it fear of rejection? Of not being accepted for presenting as your authentic self?

    Does the label not communicate what you want to express, or does the label have connotations that don’t align with your sense of self? Are those connotations commonly held, or are they negative stereotypes that you’re unconsciously distancing yourself from?

    Do you need a positive label to communicate who you are, or does a negative label suffice (IE. “trans” vs. “not cis”)? Are labels a useful tool for you to describe yourself to others, or do you feel the need to conform to the label?