I have parents that love me to bits, but their strategy to get me to do my homework was… adversarial? It felt like they were checking my performance, just like the teachers were. It didn’t feel like they were on my side, even though I’m sure they were.
Getting told off even gently felt like an unbearable punishment for some reason. I read something recently about adhd folks being more sensitive to negative interactions?
And that’s how I became a pathological liar and master of masking!
Getting told off even gently felt like an unbearable punishment for some reason. I read something recently about adhd folks being more sensitive to negative interactions?
Check out Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a common side effect of ADHD.
Problem is that the approach “MUST do NOW, until it is DONE!” doesn’t work for many of us. I developed methods for myself, which I try to apply to my own child now, like: “When you get home from school, lay out everything you need to work, then relax. At time X, do 15 minutes on a timer, as far as you get.”
He still moans and groans about it, and it’s hard for me to tell if my “soft push” feels to him like the “hard push” I got. It’s all relative, and nobody else can tell.
I have parents that love me to bits, but their strategy to get me to do my homework was… adversarial? It felt like they were checking my performance, just like the teachers were. It didn’t feel like they were on my side, even though I’m sure they were.
Getting told off even gently felt like an unbearable punishment for some reason. I read something recently about adhd folks being more sensitive to negative interactions?
And that’s how I became a pathological liar and master of masking!
A lot of parents don’t know better. This is what they grew up with.
The trauma of dad trying his best with 6th grade math homework he can’t actually do…
Check out Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a common side effect of ADHD.
Aw crap, it reads like a character sheet… Guess I’m binging this now.
that’s the one. As a kid I never understood why punishments even exist. People being mad at me was already unbearable torture
Problem is that the approach “MUST do NOW, until it is DONE!” doesn’t work for many of us. I developed methods for myself, which I try to apply to my own child now, like: “When you get home from school, lay out everything you need to work, then relax. At time X, do 15 minutes on a timer, as far as you get.”
He still moans and groans about it, and it’s hard for me to tell if my “soft push” feels to him like the “hard push” I got. It’s all relative, and nobody else can tell.