The sad part is sometimes, it is your own voice calling you lazy while knowing full that you are depressed. Sometimes, it is more difficult to convince yourself that you need help more than convincing others
Me irl. They still think I’m lazy in grad school.
Coworker told me they were suspected of having adhd as a child and were tested. Doctors wanted to medicate to treat the adhd, but their mother said no, she didn’t want her kid zonked out on meds. She was self medicating with alcohol on the daily, turns out.
In the future I hope this won’t be such a universal experience.
I was tested by someone who came to my school when I was about eight years old because my parents were concerned. They diagnosed me as being lazy.
30+ years later and my kid is going through the same thing. The workers at the nursery are decent though, and suspect neurodiversity. A couple of appointments later and my kid gets an autism and ADHD diagnosis. My wife and I speak to them because my symptoms are so similar, and they said that from the conversations we had about my kid, they assumed that I had already been diagnosed.
I’m now 45 and still on a waiting list for an official diagnosis 😫
I’ve heard it is almost common practice now to test the parents for ADD if a kid has it.
That would be great, but the waiting lists in the UK are currently several years long 🙁
Exact same story down to every detail. Both parents teachers, but no clue. The weirdest conclusions and theories about me. Like: Far below average intelligence, but with a talent for languages and mathematics (is that even a thing?), which got me through school with effortless Cs. Most of the time I (and probably others) thought I was just a general shithead.
I realised what it was 4 years ago and told a psychiatrist, who did not disagree, but was like: woa, hold your horses. Got a referral to a full neurological & psychiatric check-up from my GP, who wrote on the referral that he suspects ADD without hyperactivity, 1 1/2 years ago. Couldn’t use it, because they are overrun by more urgent cases.
Started paying out of pocked to a private clinic 6 months ago and got the official, written diagnosis 1 month ago (exactly what my GP already suspected). Since then, lots of delays to get treatment. No appointments, then appointment available, but latest bloodwork and ECG expired etc. Had one appointment last week cancelled 2 hours before start.
Honestly, with a medical system so overrun, a GP should just be authorised to do the diagnostic if supported by purely computer evaluated multiple choice test. The standardized tests appear to be the foundation anyway, and the many hours of additional psychiatric evaluation are just something that the medical system can’t support.
And yes, now my child. He is a true math genius who could do 2 or 3 classes above his own, but he hates books (only since school, not before!) and his reading & writing is just a hateful, effortless B. In two languages equally well, though. I suspect something is up there, but don’t want to project. I never had problems understanding math, but was certainly not ahead of the class. Loved books though, perfect spelling.
Let’s hope things work out for us and our children!
ADD subtype PI, for primary inattentive. If methylphenidate and atomoxetine don’t work for you make sure you try lysdexamfetamine.
Thanks, noted! Currently helping myself with Modafinil with pretty good results, but too many side effects. Doc seems to be very fixated on Methylphenidate, so we’ll see if they are even open to trying something else. In standardised tests, I maxed out the ADD scale, but missed criteria for hyperactivity by a little, if I understood correctly. Same with childhood ADD; they said they can’t tell for sure when it started after so much time has passed.
Zero hyperactivity here. Just leg jerking and pacing back and forth during calls/meetings. Modafinil kinda sorta works but Elvanse/Vyvanse is a whole different league.
Methylphenidate just gave me brain fog. Atomoxetine worked great for 6 months but then just stopped. I stopped taking Vyvanse a long while ago due to side effects.
Mine used to scream at me for being lazy all the time, and now she wonders why I don’t talk to her about anything 🤷♂️
Mine used the koosh ball slingshot
I have parents that love me to bits, but their strategy to get me to do my homework was… adversarial? It felt like they were checking my performance, just like the teachers were. It didn’t feel like they were on my side, even though I’m sure they were.
Getting told off even gently felt like an unbearable punishment for some reason. I read something recently about adhd folks being more sensitive to negative interactions?
And that’s how I became a pathological liar and master of masking!
A lot of parents don’t know better. This is what they grew up with.
The trauma of dad trying his best with 6th grade math homework he can’t actually do…
Getting told off even gently felt like an unbearable punishment for some reason. I read something recently about adhd folks being more sensitive to negative interactions?
Check out Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a common side effect of ADHD.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
Aw crap, it reads like a character sheet… Guess I’m binging this now.
that’s the one. As a kid I never understood why punishments even exist. People being mad at me was already unbearable torture
Problem is that the approach “MUST do NOW, until it is DONE!” doesn’t work for many of us. I developed methods for myself, which I try to apply to my own child now, like: “When you get home from school, lay out everything you need to work, then relax. At time X, do 15 minutes on a timer, as far as you get.”
He still moans and groans about it, and it’s hard for me to tell if my “soft push” feels to him like the “hard push” I got. It’s all relative, and nobody else can tell.
if they aren’t hitting you it is because they don’t love you