I first tried to kill myself in 2000, and writing about it of course resulted in another fucking award from Columbia.

My drug dealer broke into my apartment, found my phone, called everyone he’d ever heard me talk about, and then finally 911. I’d been thorough.

At that point, it was merely personal problems; we now have systemic ones.

I’m still crashing with a friend but return to the marginally movable trash can tomorrow.

I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting. I just know “not this” is where I’m at in life, and one can only spend so much time with the crisis line.

  •  Radiant_sir_radiant   ( @Radiant_sir_radiant@beehaw.org ) English
    8•22 hours ago

    You repeatedly mentioned that you’re a Swiss citizen. If all else fails, you could always come here and have guaranteed shelter, food and medical care for as long as you need them. I know people less deserving than you living quite agreeably that way - it sure would beat crashing in a van.

    Also, if that’s a concern, one part of unemployment support is that you’ll attend paid courses to help you gain more marketable skills.

      •  Radiant_sir_radiant   ( @Radiant_sir_radiant@beehaw.org ) English
        4•10 hours ago

        I have skills; they’re just no longer valued.

        They may be valued somewhere; and even if that place is too hard to find at the moment, you seem smart enough to adapt and enhance your skillset as needed easily enough.

        If the flight is the main issue, I might be able to help with that (and the first couple of days of accommodation), provided you’re moderately flexible concerning the date. Everything else you’d have to arrange yourself, but if a flight ticket (or the lack thereof) is all that’s missing, do get in touch!

        •  Pete Hahnloser   ( @Powderhorn@beehaw.org ) OPEnglish
          1•2 hours ago

          Mom is willing to help out with getting to Atlanta for the biometrics if I have a further plan. It’s the only consulate in the states with the capacity to issue Passes under current rules.

          ETA: Per mom, San Francisco also has the equipment to issue passports, I’m just slightly too far east to be covered by that consulate.